Friday 23 February 2007

Harry Off To War

Prince Harry is well known for not being the sharpest bulb in the box. The third in line to the throne even needed help to pass his A level art, and you need to be a doofus of biblical proportions to fail art.
To show just how in touch with his Grans public the ginger haired royal is, he's apparently chomping at the bit to go to that smoking hole we used to call Iraq just as everyone else is coming back. He will be expected to wear the uniform of the British Army (minus the safety features and boots of course) and not the Nazi uniform that he favoured a few years back.
To be fair to the man who looks suspiciously like James Hewitt who was having an affair with Princess Diana at the time of his conception (hmmmm), he could of tugged the strings to keep his lazy backside in safety but he chose not to. An even better statement would of been to refuse to go because this war is a wrong'un, not like they would slam him in the Tower. And if they did he would gets lots of time brush up on his watercolours.

7 comments:

The Fez Monkey said...

not being the sharpest bulb in the box

You naughty girl - you know you shouldn't mix metaphors like that. Particularly when talking about royalty!

No no no. You must be very careful. Harry is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, or brightest bulb in the chandelier.

But maybe you did that on purpose, to draw me off the real track. After all, if I recall my British history (and I probably don't), you folks had another Prince Harry a while back who was considered a bit of a party-boy. Yet he managed to teach those nastry Frogs a thing or two at Agincourt.

I only hope, before deploying, this Prince Hal gathers his mates together and says, "We few, we happy few ..."

Ook ook

iMuslim said...

"To be fair to the man who looks suspiciously like James Hewitt who was having an affair with Princess Diana at the time of his conception"

Well, only his hair colour, really. I think he does share in Charles' facial features, whilst Wils was blessed with Diana's beauteous genes.

I feel sorry for Harry, in that respect; i mean, having his paternity constantly questioned.

It's bad enough learning that both your parents were having affairs during their failed marriage, but then for the whole world to know about it too... no wonder the boy is having problems.

I still remember him as a wee lad, walking in his mother's funeral procession.

Who says money buys you happiness, eh?

Daniel said...

Funny how royalty seems to miss out on brains. Must have been all that inbreeding centuries ago. Apparently George has royal blood in his background too.

Perhaps George and Harry should be sent to Iraq. Harry could hold George's hand. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

I think questioning Harry's paternity is wise!
I don't know why he hasn't questioned it himself!
And as for the arts degree....I can't believe he needed help, goes to show you the royal fan fair is all ass!
Lucy.....You and I see through pompus gits it seems! Don't worry, whatever royal loving comments you get here, I bloody well like you! LOL
Love Zoe xxx

Falling on a bruise said...

Fez Monkey - the mixed metaphor was a jokey self irony because i was about to call Harry an idiot. Admittedly it wasn't the best joke in the toolbox.

iMuslim - Maybe it is just me, but I am firmly behind the James Hewett conspiracy theory. I will find a couple of pics and stick them on here so everyone can judge for themselves.

Daniel - The whole idea of inbreeding is to keep the royal line from being contaminated by commoner blood. Luckily, it also protects us from being contaminated by Royal blood.

Zoe - Thank you for the support Zoe and i hope that it continues while i rot in the Tower of London for treason.

Anonymous said...

"I don't know why he hasn't questioned it himself!"


Maybe Hewitt's house isn't quite as nice as Windsor.....

Anonymous said...

Lucy,

Was the use of solecisms such as Grans (instead of Gran's), could of (instead of could have) and would of (instead of would have), also part of the jokey self irony?

I don't normally do grammar quibbles - only when I see people taking the piss out of people for their stupidity while simultaneously displaying their own apparent lack of intelligence.

By the way - do you know where surnames such as King and Prince came from?