Men's Summer Fashion To Forget

According to the Beach Boys, summer fashion includes T-shirts, cut-offs, and a pair of thongs but as Summer has arrived early the male population has already burst into life but some men seem to fashion what crisps are to haute cuisine and without Summer proper even arriving yet, the following crimes against male fashion have already been observed.    

Hawaiian shirts
If ever anything was enough to make us wish for the perpetual winter of Narnia, it's the garish Hawaiian shirt. The only time you can legitimately get away with wearing a Hawaiian shirt is at a Magnum reunion party or on honeymoon in Hawaii and if you think packing one of those in your suitcase is a good idea then if you are divorced before the first anniversary then you won't get any sympathy from me.

T-shirts with slogans
'It's not a bald patch, its a solar panel for a sex machine', no it's not, it's a bald patch on top of a git and there’s no such thing as a Female Boob Inspector and if there was i'm sure they don't advertise their services on their clothing.

Skimpy Singlets
Unless you are a professional wrestler or a lifeguard, singlets should stay in the closet. Nobody wants to see your armpit hair or the side cleavage of your moobs.

Short Shorts / Speedo's
I really don’t need to see that much of your thighs while shopping in Sainsbury's. Burn the shorts and we can all move on with our lives in proper leg coverings and in time the memory of what we saw when you sat down and manspread will hopefully fade.

Cowboy Stetson Hat
This hat is where fashion and style go to die holding hands. Looked good on James Dean and Clint Eastwood on the plains of the Wild West, doesn't look quite so good on you in Worthing Town Centre. There isn’t a haircut bad enough to warrant wearing this.  

Socks and Sandals
There must be something about owning a Y chromosome that makes men pull on a pair of white socks and sandals whenever the Sun pops its head out.

Croc Shoes
Experts say you should avoid Crocs as they do not adequately secure the heel and can lead to tendinitis, toe deformities, nail problems, corns and calluses but mainly you should avoid them because they look awful. The shoe equivalent of Donald Trump, both are far too large, far too ugly and nobody in their right mind would want to be seen with either of them.

Man Bun
'Hey! Look at my top knot! Don't I look cool?' Um, sorry but, no you don't look 'cool,' you look like an idiot.