Another day, another bunch of flat Earthers breaking news that we have been blind to, such as yesterdays revelation from the Flat Earth Convention that gravity doesn't exist.
I have always been suspicious about the whole things falling to Earth thing but now not only have we been duped about gravity but now that 2,500 mile wide Island between the Indian and Pacific Oceans, the one we have been unwittingly calling Australia, isn't there either.
The country of 24 million people which has given us Kylie, Nicole Kidman, Mad Max, Neighbours, Prisoner Cell Block H, Paul Hogan, Home and Away and bent sticks that you throw, is not real and was created as a cover-up for a mass murder by the British after they shipped criminals into the middle of the ocean in the 18 century and drowned them.
According to the theory, all those Australians currently living there are just Government actors and computer-generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.
In just two days, the Flat Earthers have opened our eyes to Gravity and Australia so we can scratch Isaac Newton and Captain Cook from our history books and never be bothered by dropping things and hats with corks on them ever again but if there is no Australia then just who has been stuffing us at cricket and rugby for the past 50 years?
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