Thursday, 20 September 2007

History Not Looking Good For Rudy

I am about to make a startling revelation. Ready for this?
Rudy Giuliani is NOT going to win the US presidency. No way, no how, never in a month of Sundays.
And what do i base my arrogant certainty on? Glad you asked because the reason is gleaming back at you. He is bald.
Sniffing another half-arsed theory brewing, i rifled through my US Presidents poster and came to the conclusion that of the 43 US presidents, only 5 of them were not blessed with what could pass for a proper amount of hair.
The baldilocks were John Adams, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren, James A Garfield and Dwight Eisenhower. Gerald Ford is a bit of a grey area because he stepped in for Nixon and never got elected in his own right but even adding in his time served, out of 218 years of Presidenting from George Washington in 1789, there has only been 23 years of baldness in the White House.
There is a trend to this anti-baldy idea because during 286 years of British Prime Ministers, from Robert Walpole in 1721, there have only been 6 domeheads in Downing Street (George Canning, Charles Grey, Robert Gascoyne Cecil, Winston Churchill, Clement Atlee and Alec Douglas Home) with a pathetic combined total of 35 years between them and even that is including Churchill's 5 years during the 2nd World War when he was not PM in his own right but part of a coalition Government.
So there you have it, supporters of Giuliani may as well take down those window posters and peel off the bumper stickers because short of a hair transplant, history says your man has as much chance of getting the keys to the White House as him living down once being married to his own cousin.

14 comments:

Joe the Troll said...

That's not as tongue-in-cheek as it may seem. These things do matter in today's media-driven world. The fact that Ike was one of the last elected before the debates became televised is telling. There is no way Lincoln would be elected today, either, mainly because of the beard.

Monica Thatcher said...

'Rudi Rudi Rudi Rudi,
what ya doin doin toupee'.
oh irony... Kaiser Chiefs...
Didn't Reagan where a syrup or was that just heavy doses of G'2000.
P.s. Thanks for the link.
Blue Ball United's fine.

Monica Thatcher said...

WEAR even ... dim whit!

Lucyp said...

That is a very good point Joe about the debates being televised and the start of image being as important as the message.

That is inspired Monica, now if i can just delete your comment, slip it into my post and pretend i thought of it...
I am not sure about Ronnie's hair and i think it was all his own but he made use of the same product as Paul MaCartney.

Cody Bones said...

Fred Thompson and John McCain are both bald as well, so I think that Rudy might get a pass with the other two front runners being folically challenged. Being somewhat short on top as well, I think that I might have to gravitate my vote in that direction . I like Ike

Cheezy said...

We might have to agree to disagree on this one. I'm thinking that the next President will be a Republican - whether he be as hairless as Guiliani, Thompson or even Dr.Evil - for the same depressing reasons that they won in 2000 and 2004.

Lucyp said...

I haven't paid that much attention at the moment to who is who and what they stand for, i am waiting for the field to whittle down a bit and just poking fun at the ones who get my attention.
At the moment i am waiting for Al Gore to get his backside in gear but if he doesn't, i am looking for Hilary to do her bit for womenkind but before the anti-Hilary mob descend on me, i return you to my first sentence.

Daniel said...

Hair has been important for yonks. Look at Sampson! Americans, being religious, think that anyone without hair has no strength!

Look at George. He's got lots of hair. It must be using his brains as fertilizer! His hair must be in peril.

Giuliani is just another fraud, a glib opportunist. Then those on the Democrat side are no better.

Hair today, gone tomorrow!

jennyjinx said...

The next president will be a Democrat, for sure. I want Kucinich, but I think Edwards and Biden have the best shot (I know, Clinton and Obama are front-runners, but they won't win).

Anyway, Fred Thompson would definitely lose and that's fine with me. :)

Cody Bones said...

"Americans, being religious"

Nothing like a good, down home, ignorant stereotype, is there?

Jodie K said...

Rudy G. will never make it all the way to Prez because even New Yawkers have called him out.

Joe the Troll said...

Jodie - Oh, the firefighters hate him, because they saw more of him than the photo-ops that seem to be all his supporters know about.

JJ- people tend to forget how many other losers were front-runners to begin with. Anyone remember Howard Dean?

Lucyp said...

When Howard Dean first started out on the campaign trail in the last election, i emailed him wishing him luck and he replied (or rather one of his flunkies) saying that he would do his best to put make America respected again in Europe. Then he did that scream thing and imploded. Maybe i am a jinx. I really should email all the Republicans candidates.

Joe the Troll said...

Couldn't hurt.