Being English

"There'll always be an England" goes the song which must really tick off the French who have had more than there fair share of attempts to rid the World of the despicable Rosbifs.
So two fingers to France because here we are waving our Flag of St. George until we get tired and then we will probably sit down and have a nice cup of tea.
Today is St George's Day so we put aside all our negative comments about this country and the fools who run it and concentrating on the things that define the inhabitants of this little island off the coast of Northern France and to the left of Holland.
There are a few things that make us English unique among the rest of the planets population with the most obvious being our weird sense of humour.
Other nations have a time and a place for humour but with us, it's the default setting. Whatever the situation, we are there with with a joke like when the Queen Mother died and in the book of remembrance someone wrote "I remember one time she visited my school and I asked her if she would like to visit the bathroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later though, it was sickening".
That's how we are, making everything into a joke with the possible exception of any script Hugh Grant gets his hands on.
Our island status has saved us from multiple invasions while encouraging our men to go out and inflict them on others, leaving those who stayed at home to brew an irrational fear of all things more than 3 miles from our coast. If we do venture outside of our own orbit we insist that whatever country we visit, they speak English and if they don't understand us, we just speak English slower and louder while tutting and rolling our eyes at their ignorance.
Nobody is as self-deprecating as us Englanders and nobody is as afraid of standing out from the crowd. The English people would rather cut out their own eyes than brag about themselves and we can expect to be thrown off a tall building to shouts of "Nobody likes a showoff" if we tried it.
Closely linked is the good old fashioned 'Stiff Upper Lip' so God forbid anyone go see a therapist because you will be mocked, handed a cup of tea and told to pull yourself together.
Yes, making fun of dead Royalty, berating Johnny foreigner and being emotionally stunted is what makes us what we are. Here's to St George (just don't tell anyone here that he was probably Turkish).