Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Finding A New Role For Men

Things used to be so simple for men. Their primary role in life was to parallel park the car for us, open jars, reach for things on high shelves and dispense sperm at the convenient time.
At a squeeze, us ladies could do most of these things for ourselves but the access to sperm was always going to be tricky. Until now.
A team of British scientists have created human sperm using embryonic stem cells, which means that the main role of men has now been made redundant.
Before the male of the species get all depressed and question the point of their existence, we need to find a role that is exclusively male. Something that women or machines can't do although i am struggling to think of when a need to pee standing up will be of any use to society.
Their greater strength does come in handy to carry those bags when we have bought more than we can manage and their ability to reverse into parking spaces without having to visit a panel beater afterwards is very useful.
I'm sure that if we think hard enough and long enough we could come up with something only a man can do but while we do that, would you mind stirring my coffee for me.
Hang about...i think i've cracked it.


effay said...

I didn't know British people drank coffee.

Cody Bones said...

Our role? Well my dear, we were put on this earth to piss women off, and if I just might brag, I seem to be doing a great job of it lately..

Oh, and to handle the remote

Lucy said...

Tea is the national drink effay but i just prefer the taste of coffee. I only drink tea when the vicar comes around so i can say the famous words 'more tea vicar?'.

Nice to know that pissing off women is an international thing Cody. Hope it doesn't get too cold in the night on that sofa.

Annie said...

If only this process existed about 28 years ago, I'd have been spared a divorce or two.

Chris said...

It took me a little while to work out your subtle punchline at the end. I think you would find a spoon much more hygenic!

Kvatch said...

I always tell my female friends that there are three criteria you should look for in a potential mate:

1) Must be able to fold a fitted sheet.
2) Must be able to cook.
3) Must be able to l*** p**** like a world champion.

Perhaps these could be the new reasons for male existence?