Thursday, 21 September 2017
Sept 23: End Of The World...Again
Apparently thanks to an alignment of several planets and constellations, the Rapture is set for 23 September which will see all 'worthy' Christians ascend to heaven and leaving the rest of us 'unworthy' ones to perish here on the Earth as per the Bible passage Revelation 12: 1-2 which predicts the Antichrist arriving and bringing with him devastation, which could really spoil any plans you had for Sunday but don't worry because if the Rapture on Saturday isn't convenient for you, there are two more on the way.
The first is scheduled to begin in 2020 and if you miss that one there will be another one along in 2021, those Bible passages are notoriously difficult to get accurate it seems so the worthy Christians may just have to knock along with us unworthy ones coveting our neighbours asses and whistling on a Sunday for a while longer yet.
Not too long though because The Messiah Foundation International preach that a massive asteroid is hurtling toward our planet, on course to collide in 2026 and in a shocking twist, will bring about the Rapture when the Lord will return and save everyone worth saving...etc etc.
Issac Newton may be known as the man who discovered Gravity but you do wonder just hard that apple hit him on the head as he calculated from the Book of Revelations that mankind will come to a screeching halt in 2060 although he didn't specify how it will all end.
The Muslims are much clearer with the details, they have the world ending with earthquakes and volcanoes in 2129 before it all turns a bit Japanese Manga Comic with a one-eyed beast battling the Messiah as Gog and Magog, whoever they are, descending upon the Earth.
There are no such monsters in the Judaism end days penciled in for 30th September 2239 when the Messiah will appear to help us prepare for his new kingdom of Heaven but it will only be for those who actively prepare for his arrival so as you won’t be allowed into the Heaven Party if you don’t help set it up so maybe make some sandwiches that day, not Ham ones though.
Finally, the Buddhists have their policies of peace and self-reflection, serenity and rebirth but in the year 84517 they say that our Sun will be joined by six others and the Earth and all on it will burst into flames in a fiery explosion.
So there are some dates that the World will end to jot into your diary starting this Saturday but i will stick my neck out and predict that if you have a ticket for the Brighton v Newcastle game this Sunday, then you shouldn't cancel your travel arrangements but it may be worth checking if in the event of the Rapture, you can get a refund just in case.