The Lib Dems were largely ignored, the Labour one was great and now it's the Tories turn for a Party Conference and i don't generally look forward to this one but this year it should be fun because they have been ripping each other apart for the past year and now they are all going to be together in a room and hopefully fighting like a bagful of cats.
Credit to Theresa May because i didn't think she would still be the Prime Minister when she coughed her way off stage last year but she's still in charge but not through want of trying to boot her aside from her Party.
Despite being so god-awful, she has been lucky that there is such a dearth of talent in her Party and those who have tipped their hats towards a leadership challenge are either too unpopular amongst other Tories (Boris Johnson, Michael Gove), unappealing (Sajid Javid), too far right (Jacob Rees-Mogg) or just plain unelectable (Jeremy Hunt) so Theresa is safe this side of the March 2019 Brexit deadline.
So off to Birmingham then for a week of right-wing bitching and back stabbing and let's see who is the first to break cover and tell the Prime Minister she has to go following her eve of Conference call for the Party to come together after Boris Johnson said the May Brexit plan was 'deranged' and was called 'irrelevant and offensive' in return by a senior Party official.
It's going to be fun!
Sunday, 30 September 2018
I Forget What This Post Is About
I'm getting to that age now where i go into a room and then forget what i went in there for so walk back out only to remember once i have sat down again.
The same happened here today when i sat down with a brilliant idea for a blog post but by the time i got the page up i had forgotten it.
There is a new study by a Canadian University, i forget which one, which claims that being forgetful is a sign of high intelligence as it is important that the brain forgets irrelevant details and instead focuses on the stuff that’s going to help make decisions in the real world.
Professor someone and whatshisname proposed that memory is utilised to optimise decision making by retaining valuable information and letting the other unimportant stuff go and therefore working exactly as it should, or something like that, i don't remember the specifics.
If someone can name who won the FA Cup every year since 1945 then their memory is full of useless information while if you get halfway through a blog post, forget what you are writing about and end up writing about tree's, then you are intelligent and the chief of the Country Land and Business Association said that so few oak's have been grown that they plan to 11 million new trees
over the next decade.
The same happened here today when i sat down with a brilliant idea for a blog post but by the time i got the page up i had forgotten it.
There is a new study by a Canadian University, i forget which one, which claims that being forgetful is a sign of high intelligence as it is important that the brain forgets irrelevant details and instead focuses on the stuff that’s going to help make decisions in the real world.
Professor someone and whatshisname proposed that memory is utilised to optimise decision making by retaining valuable information and letting the other unimportant stuff go and therefore working exactly as it should, or something like that, i don't remember the specifics.
If someone can name who won the FA Cup every year since 1945 then their memory is full of useless information while if you get halfway through a blog post, forget what you are writing about and end up writing about tree's, then you are intelligent and the chief of the Country Land and Business Association said that so few oak's have been grown that they plan to 11 million new trees
over the next decade.
EUROPE! EUROPE! EUROPE!
USA! USA! US..Oh. It seems our European men are better at hitting a little white ball 300 yards and then putting it into a hole than the American men so well done us.
As most of the European Team was made up of Brits, Spanish and Scandinavians, don't you agree Brexit fans that it shows that we can do amazing things together?
As most of the European Team was made up of Brits, Spanish and Scandinavians, don't you agree Brexit fans that it shows that we can do amazing things together?
Friday, 28 September 2018
Both Reps & Dems At Fault In Kavanaugh Case
I don't really know the full story behind the Brett Kavanaugh and Christine Blasey Ford case but the jist of it seems to be she said he sexually assaulted her and he said he never.
What i did see though was both of them being either castigated or dismissed even before the evidence had been presented which doesn't show neither side, Republicans and Democrats, in a good light.
Innocent until proven guilty should always be the way to go so he shouldn't be labelled a sexual deviant until it has been proved, or disproved as she shouldn't be believed or disbelieved until the evidence has been presented.
As it wasn't a court case and it pretty much came down to his word against her's with no evidence supporting either person, then it is wrong to reach any kind of conclusion based on nothing more than if you support his or her political leanings.
The #MeToo movement haven't done themselves any favours by immediately jumping to the conclusion that because someone accused Kavanaugh then it must be true but then the Republicans are equally at fault for dismissing her claims as untrue just because she is a Democrat supporter.
One of them is telling the truth and nobody should be jumping to conclusions until it is fully settled without reasonable doubt which one it is.
What i did see though was both of them being either castigated or dismissed even before the evidence had been presented which doesn't show neither side, Republicans and Democrats, in a good light.
Innocent until proven guilty should always be the way to go so he shouldn't be labelled a sexual deviant until it has been proved, or disproved as she shouldn't be believed or disbelieved until the evidence has been presented.
As it wasn't a court case and it pretty much came down to his word against her's with no evidence supporting either person, then it is wrong to reach any kind of conclusion based on nothing more than if you support his or her political leanings.
The #MeToo movement haven't done themselves any favours by immediately jumping to the conclusion that because someone accused Kavanaugh then it must be true but then the Republicans are equally at fault for dismissing her claims as untrue just because she is a Democrat supporter.
One of them is telling the truth and nobody should be jumping to conclusions until it is fully settled without reasonable doubt which one it is.
Tuesday, 25 September 2018
Laughing At Trump
You don't need this blog post to state that the current US president is the laughing stock of the world but you do have to hand it to Donald Trump, the whole world literally laughed at him at the UN and he just smiled confusingly and carried on with his bluster either far too ignorant to see that he was being openly laughed at or just too thick to realise it.
It shouldn't have come as a surprise to him that there was the open derision from his fellow leaders when he boasted of his administration’s achievements as he has annoyed most of them at some point in the last two years including many who are thought of as allies.
That he predictably went after Iran was no surprise and that he did not dare mention Russia was as expected but all that got lost in the laughing and snickering from the floor.
I guess Trump thought he could make the same outlandish claims he receives applause for from his usual deplorable, rootin tootin, gun totin redneck sycophants but we should see more of this when he moves outside of his comfort zone, more laughter whenever he says something stupid. Which is always.
To be fair to the third fattest President, he was right to point out that 'In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country', right because no other President in history has been laughed at as the comical interlude at the General Assembly.
Kudos indeed to the man with the smallest hands in the UN.
It shouldn't have come as a surprise to him that there was the open derision from his fellow leaders when he boasted of his administration’s achievements as he has annoyed most of them at some point in the last two years including many who are thought of as allies.
That he predictably went after Iran was no surprise and that he did not dare mention Russia was as expected but all that got lost in the laughing and snickering from the floor.
I guess Trump thought he could make the same outlandish claims he receives applause for from his usual deplorable, rootin tootin, gun totin redneck sycophants but we should see more of this when he moves outside of his comfort zone, more laughter whenever he says something stupid. Which is always.
To be fair to the third fattest President, he was right to point out that 'In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country', right because no other President in history has been laughed at as the comical interlude at the General Assembly.
Kudos indeed to the man with the smallest hands in the UN.
Leaders At The UN Entry Music
The best and brightest are all turning up at the UN General Assembly today but to make it a bit more interesting, the World leaders have asked to make an entrance in the style of boxers, with music greeting them as they make their way to the podium to give their speeches.
The song list has mysteriously gone missing but i'm sure that we could pull something together in such short notice.
First up is Hungary's Viktor Orbán. Patsy Cline's 'Crazy' should do it.
Palestine's Mahmoud Abbas is up next so it's got to be Guns 'n' Roses, 'Right next door to hell' and then it's our very own Theresa May so 'Devil Woman' should be starting up soon.
As Mahathir Mohamad of Malaysia just celebrated his 93rd birthday, i wonder if he will understand the message behind Billy Joel's 'Only the good die young' as he takes his place at the podium.
Here comes the Belgium leader so 'Being Boring' by the Pet Shop Boys should make him think of home and we can keep it in the CD Player to use again for the Canadian PM when it's his turn.
France's Emmanuel Macron is approaching so i'm sure he will understand that his music has to be Van Halens 'Hot For Teacher' and then i'll get 'Bring Your Own Bomb' teed up for Syria's Bashar al-Assad.
Queen's 'Fat Bottomed Girls' for Angela Merkel and she is to be followed by Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel so 'Nobody Likes You' by Green Day seems appropriate as does 'Money Ain't A Thang' by Jay-Z for Greece.
'Dem Haters' by Rihanna for Iran and Hassan Rouhani, 'So Macho' for Vladimir Putin, 'All About That Bass' by Meghan Trainor for Kim Jong-Un and the theme tune to Winnie The Pooh for Chinese President Xi Jinping.
To close the day its the President of the United States, Donald Trump, and looking at his stumbling ratings recently, 'Every day i love you less and less' by the Kaiser Chiefs or Robert Plant's, 'Little Hands', either is good.
The song list has mysteriously gone missing but i'm sure that we could pull something together in such short notice.
First up is Hungary's Viktor Orbán. Patsy Cline's 'Crazy' should do it.
Palestine's Mahmoud Abbas is up next so it's got to be Guns 'n' Roses, 'Right next door to hell' and then it's our very own Theresa May so 'Devil Woman' should be starting up soon.
As Mahathir Mohamad of Malaysia just celebrated his 93rd birthday, i wonder if he will understand the message behind Billy Joel's 'Only the good die young' as he takes his place at the podium.
Here comes the Belgium leader so 'Being Boring' by the Pet Shop Boys should make him think of home and we can keep it in the CD Player to use again for the Canadian PM when it's his turn.
France's Emmanuel Macron is approaching so i'm sure he will understand that his music has to be Van Halens 'Hot For Teacher' and then i'll get 'Bring Your Own Bomb' teed up for Syria's Bashar al-Assad.
Queen's 'Fat Bottomed Girls' for Angela Merkel and she is to be followed by Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel so 'Nobody Likes You' by Green Day seems appropriate as does 'Money Ain't A Thang' by Jay-Z for Greece.
'Dem Haters' by Rihanna for Iran and Hassan Rouhani, 'So Macho' for Vladimir Putin, 'All About That Bass' by Meghan Trainor for Kim Jong-Un and the theme tune to Winnie The Pooh for Chinese President Xi Jinping.
To close the day its the President of the United States, Donald Trump, and looking at his stumbling ratings recently, 'Every day i love you less and less' by the Kaiser Chiefs or Robert Plant's, 'Little Hands', either is good.
Monday, 24 September 2018
Songs To Annoy The Neighbours
My friend had a problem with her downstairs neighbour who was a grumpy old woman with several cats who would bang on the ceiling at the slightest noise and after diplomacy came and went she went full Tony Blair and waged war on her with the contents of her CD collection.
The problem with the sonic warfare thing is that aside from annoying the victim at high volume, it can't be songs that are torture to your ears and as her CD Collection contains nothing heavier than The Best of The Carpenters, hearing 'Goodbye To Love' at 100dB isn't going to cut it.
Apparently what will really drill into the brain is anything with a heavy bass for maximum annoyance, house or techno music for example but we should consult the real experts at massively annoying people, the US military.
Back in the days of Good Ol' Boy George W Bush the military at Guantanamo Bay would blast out songs to captives to induce shock and disorient so what was their top tips of annoying hits to play at full volume.
Take Your Best Shot - Dope, White America - Eminem, Kim - Eminem, Barney Theme Song - Barney the Dinosaur, Bodies - Drowning Pool, Enter Sandman - Metallica, Meow Mix TV Commercial - Meow Meow Meow and the Sesame Street TV Theme are their preferred tunes.
You can also be twisted and Clockwork Orange find a song the victim likes and play that continually at full volume but if it turns to be Barbie Girl then remember that you have to hear it also and after 5 hours of that i would be looking for a sturdy roof beam.
Of course laying your speakers on the floor and playing the Sesame Street Bass mix until 3am shouldn't be condoned but then if you have a copy of the Meow Mix TV Commercial then you are probably not in a very good mental place to start with.
The problem with the sonic warfare thing is that aside from annoying the victim at high volume, it can't be songs that are torture to your ears and as her CD Collection contains nothing heavier than The Best of The Carpenters, hearing 'Goodbye To Love' at 100dB isn't going to cut it.
Apparently what will really drill into the brain is anything with a heavy bass for maximum annoyance, house or techno music for example but we should consult the real experts at massively annoying people, the US military.
Back in the days of Good Ol' Boy George W Bush the military at Guantanamo Bay would blast out songs to captives to induce shock and disorient so what was their top tips of annoying hits to play at full volume.
Take Your Best Shot - Dope, White America - Eminem, Kim - Eminem, Barney Theme Song - Barney the Dinosaur, Bodies - Drowning Pool, Enter Sandman - Metallica, Meow Mix TV Commercial - Meow Meow Meow and the Sesame Street TV Theme are their preferred tunes.
You can also be twisted and Clockwork Orange find a song the victim likes and play that continually at full volume but if it turns to be Barbie Girl then remember that you have to hear it also and after 5 hours of that i would be looking for a sturdy roof beam.
Of course laying your speakers on the floor and playing the Sesame Street Bass mix until 3am shouldn't be condoned but then if you have a copy of the Meow Mix TV Commercial then you are probably not in a very good mental place to start with.
Saturday, 22 September 2018
Singing Drummers
Drummers get a bad rap as not only are they usually at the back of the stage but they have to spend the whole concert looking at the wiggling backsides of their band mates but some drummers have decided they can sing and thrown their sticks away and moved front and centre.
Most famous would be Phil Collins who took over the microphone when lead singer Peter Gabriel flounced out of the band although he was hesitant at first as he didn't like singing and after a few singles we didn't like him singing much either.
Don Henley stayed behind the drums and sang although he said that playing the drums and singing hurt his back as he had to twist his body into strange positions to do both at the same time which is probably why you don't see it too often.
When John Lennon was asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the World he replied that Ringo was not even the best drummer in the Beatles which is possibly why he stepped out from behind his drum set to sing a few later Beatles songs and probably why after the Beatles he made a career out of talking the words for a kids show about trains.
Karen Carpenter began her musical career as a drummer as did The Monkees Mickey Dolenz sort of, he was an actor pretending to play drums so he had to learn how to play them for realism and before he knew it the Monkees were huge and he was the drummer and later vocalist.
Most famous would be Phil Collins who took over the microphone when lead singer Peter Gabriel flounced out of the band although he was hesitant at first as he didn't like singing and after a few singles we didn't like him singing much either.
Don Henley stayed behind the drums and sang although he said that playing the drums and singing hurt his back as he had to twist his body into strange positions to do both at the same time which is probably why you don't see it too often.
When John Lennon was asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the World he replied that Ringo was not even the best drummer in the Beatles which is possibly why he stepped out from behind his drum set to sing a few later Beatles songs and probably why after the Beatles he made a career out of talking the words for a kids show about trains.
Karen Carpenter began her musical career as a drummer as did The Monkees Mickey Dolenz sort of, he was an actor pretending to play drums so he had to learn how to play them for realism and before he knew it the Monkees were huge and he was the drummer and later vocalist.
You're Not Fooling Anybody
The BBC regularly shows old Top of The Pops but it has the problem that as they were presented by Disc Jockey's who were later revealed to be dirty old perverts or worse then there are some shows they can't re-show.
I saw one such show recently from 1993 which was presented by Gary Davis who never went on to sexually abuse anyone so was safe to broadcast but had the song by The Shamen called 'Ebeneezer Goode' with it's chorus which repeats 'E's are Good, E's are Good'.
As the early 90s was the high water mark for taking Ecstasy (or E's), it wasn't subtle and the BBC did later ban it but incredibly the band continued to deny it was a song about ecstasy.
Another song obviously about drugs but poo pooed by the band at the time was Golden Brown by the Stranglers but although they denied it at first, they later came clean and said it was about Heroin which surprised nobody as that's what we all assumed anyway.
The Beatles said Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds was all about a picture by John's son who had drawn his friend from school called Lucy surrounded by stars and that's about as credible as Paul saying he doesn't dye his hair.
Musical Youth's 'Pass the Dutchie' was said to be about passing around a cooking pot but turned out to be about pot alright but not the cooking type and how can Puff The Magic Dragon by Peter, Paul and Mary not be about drugs, it's lyrics contain almost every drug reference possible although the band's defence is 'who would be mean enough to write a children's song with a covert drug message?'
The answer is Peter, Paul and Mary are mean enough obviously.
I saw one such show recently from 1993 which was presented by Gary Davis who never went on to sexually abuse anyone so was safe to broadcast but had the song by The Shamen called 'Ebeneezer Goode' with it's chorus which repeats 'E's are Good, E's are Good'.
As the early 90s was the high water mark for taking Ecstasy (or E's), it wasn't subtle and the BBC did later ban it but incredibly the band continued to deny it was a song about ecstasy.
Another song obviously about drugs but poo pooed by the band at the time was Golden Brown by the Stranglers but although they denied it at first, they later came clean and said it was about Heroin which surprised nobody as that's what we all assumed anyway.
The Beatles said Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds was all about a picture by John's son who had drawn his friend from school called Lucy surrounded by stars and that's about as credible as Paul saying he doesn't dye his hair.
Musical Youth's 'Pass the Dutchie' was said to be about passing around a cooking pot but turned out to be about pot alright but not the cooking type and how can Puff The Magic Dragon by Peter, Paul and Mary not be about drugs, it's lyrics contain almost every drug reference possible although the band's defence is 'who would be mean enough to write a children's song with a covert drug message?'
The answer is Peter, Paul and Mary are mean enough obviously.
Friday, 21 September 2018
Making America Irrelevant Again
Tuesday sees the UN General Assembly when the good, bad and ugly of the World turn up in New York and each take turn making a rambling speech pointing out the bad points of whatever country they currently have a beef with.
Representing America will be Donald Trump and although he promised to Make America Great Again, the nation is probably the most isolated i have ever known it with even the previous allies who followed them blindly over the abyss into Afghanistan, Libya and Iraq now keen to distance themselves from America.
Trump's America is finding itself increasingly isolated on Iran, Trade, Israel, Climate Change, Palestine and the International Criminal Court and other world leaders would just as soon avoid crossing paths with the President or doing their best to avoid any potential fallout.
Two years of bullying, threats and treating allies with disdain has strained traditional friendships and even nudged some onto the same side as traditional foe's such as Russia and China on issues like the Iran nuclear deal and the Paris Accord, areas where America finds itself isolated and will only find a stony silence if it tries to drum up support for it's policies.
Trump will likely attack Iran, even issue more threats but it is hard to imagine anybody worth mentioning backing him up, especially as the global main players are on Iran's side in the issue and who will slap down any attempt by America to maneuver them into yet another regime change conflict.
Trump may be about to find out that he may shout the loudest but nobody is listening to him and rather than making America great, he has made it increasingly irrelevant on the international scene.
Representing America will be Donald Trump and although he promised to Make America Great Again, the nation is probably the most isolated i have ever known it with even the previous allies who followed them blindly over the abyss into Afghanistan, Libya and Iraq now keen to distance themselves from America.
Trump's America is finding itself increasingly isolated on Iran, Trade, Israel, Climate Change, Palestine and the International Criminal Court and other world leaders would just as soon avoid crossing paths with the President or doing their best to avoid any potential fallout.
Two years of bullying, threats and treating allies with disdain has strained traditional friendships and even nudged some onto the same side as traditional foe's such as Russia and China on issues like the Iran nuclear deal and the Paris Accord, areas where America finds itself isolated and will only find a stony silence if it tries to drum up support for it's policies.
Trump will likely attack Iran, even issue more threats but it is hard to imagine anybody worth mentioning backing him up, especially as the global main players are on Iran's side in the issue and who will slap down any attempt by America to maneuver them into yet another regime change conflict.
Trump may be about to find out that he may shout the loudest but nobody is listening to him and rather than making America great, he has made it increasingly irrelevant on the international scene.
Music For The Conservatives
It's the political Party conference season and the organisers have the same thorny issue of who's music are they allowed to use?
To avoid the fate of D:Ream and their 'Things Can Only Get Better' song forever being associated with the now toxic Tony Blair and his New Labour movement, bands are falling over themselves to stop political parties tying their songs to whichever lies they are telling to their own members.
Florence and the Machine, Calvin Harris, Primal Scream, Keane and the Dandy Warhols have already slapped a ban on any of their songs being used by the Conservatives and as most musical artists are left wing, it is more of a problem for the right-wing Conservatives than the Labour Party.
Donald Trump had the same issue when nobody would let their songs be used for his inauguration, not wanting to be tainted by him even before we knew what a moron he was going to be, Trump used 'It's the End of the World As We Know It' and needless to say, Michael Stipe didn't feel fine and told him to go do to himself what he did to Stormy Daniels in that Nevada Hotel Room.
As the venues have a music license i don't know if they can actually stop their songs being played at the conferences but it's a bit embarrassing to have a pop star slagging you off and drawing attention to how much they hate you after you have chosen them to represent you.
To avoid such problems maybe the Conservatives should go for bands and singers who are more right leaning, like Spandau Ballet, Eric Clapton, Geri Halliwell and Phil Collins, i'm sure they got a song which represents Conservative Values, Collins 'In The Air tonight' sums up Theresa May's Brexit policy perfectly and i'm sure Spandau Ballet wouldn't object to either their 'Only When You Leave' or 'How Many Lies' being used.
'Kill The Poor' by Dead Kennedy's and 'Lies' by Fleetwood Mac are probably not on the play list but everyone likes The Beatles and they have the perfect song for the Conservative Party, Taxman.
If you drive a car, I'll tax the street.
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold, I'll tax the heat.
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet
Sums up the Conservatives economic policy perfectly.
To avoid the fate of D:Ream and their 'Things Can Only Get Better' song forever being associated with the now toxic Tony Blair and his New Labour movement, bands are falling over themselves to stop political parties tying their songs to whichever lies they are telling to their own members.
Florence and the Machine, Calvin Harris, Primal Scream, Keane and the Dandy Warhols have already slapped a ban on any of their songs being used by the Conservatives and as most musical artists are left wing, it is more of a problem for the right-wing Conservatives than the Labour Party.
Donald Trump had the same issue when nobody would let their songs be used for his inauguration, not wanting to be tainted by him even before we knew what a moron he was going to be, Trump used 'It's the End of the World As We Know It' and needless to say, Michael Stipe didn't feel fine and told him to go do to himself what he did to Stormy Daniels in that Nevada Hotel Room.
As the venues have a music license i don't know if they can actually stop their songs being played at the conferences but it's a bit embarrassing to have a pop star slagging you off and drawing attention to how much they hate you after you have chosen them to represent you.
To avoid such problems maybe the Conservatives should go for bands and singers who are more right leaning, like Spandau Ballet, Eric Clapton, Geri Halliwell and Phil Collins, i'm sure they got a song which represents Conservative Values, Collins 'In The Air tonight' sums up Theresa May's Brexit policy perfectly and i'm sure Spandau Ballet wouldn't object to either their 'Only When You Leave' or 'How Many Lies' being used.
'Kill The Poor' by Dead Kennedy's and 'Lies' by Fleetwood Mac are probably not on the play list but everyone likes The Beatles and they have the perfect song for the Conservative Party, Taxman.
If you drive a car, I'll tax the street.
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold, I'll tax the heat.
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet
Sums up the Conservatives economic policy perfectly.
Wednesday, 19 September 2018
Pop Star Put Downs
Lily Allen was always a bit of a loose cannon and her put down of toilet attendant punching Cheryl Cole (as she was known then) after Cole said she looked like: 'a chick with a dick' was a whithering "taking your clothes off, doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying, your mother must be so proud'.
Another great put down was Paul Weller when asked if he would do a duet with James BLunt was he would 'rather eat my own shit' so that was a no then.
The Gallagher brothers are always entertaining, Noel said Liam only had two faults, 'everything he says and everything he does' and the brilliant 'a man with a fork, in a world of soup'.
Smashing Pumpkins lead singer Billy Corgan got into a spat with Courtney Love and said she should 'go somewhere nice and live off your husband’s money' which is up there with Frank Zappa's response to Al Gore's wife about parental advisory labels on albums by the perfectly reasonable response of 'May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face'.
Ozzy Osbourne said Gary Moore didn't make it into Black Sabbath as he 'had a had a face like a welders bunch' and Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts responded to Mick Jagger calling him his drummer bu punching him on the nose and explaining that 'i'm not your drummer, you're my f**king singer'
When questioned if Ringo was the best drummer in the world, John Lennon responded that he wasn't even the best drummer in The Beatles while Keith Richards response to Bob Dylan that he could have written Satisfaction but Richards could never have written 'Desolation Row' responded that 'I wouldn't have wanted to'.
Personal favourite is Boy George on Elton John: 'All that money dear, and she's still got hair like a f**king dinnerlady'.
Another great put down was Paul Weller when asked if he would do a duet with James BLunt was he would 'rather eat my own shit' so that was a no then.
The Gallagher brothers are always entertaining, Noel said Liam only had two faults, 'everything he says and everything he does' and the brilliant 'a man with a fork, in a world of soup'.
Smashing Pumpkins lead singer Billy Corgan got into a spat with Courtney Love and said she should 'go somewhere nice and live off your husband’s money' which is up there with Frank Zappa's response to Al Gore's wife about parental advisory labels on albums by the perfectly reasonable response of 'May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face'.
Ozzy Osbourne said Gary Moore didn't make it into Black Sabbath as he 'had a had a face like a welders bunch' and Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts responded to Mick Jagger calling him his drummer bu punching him on the nose and explaining that 'i'm not your drummer, you're my f**king singer'
When questioned if Ringo was the best drummer in the world, John Lennon responded that he wasn't even the best drummer in The Beatles while Keith Richards response to Bob Dylan that he could have written Satisfaction but Richards could never have written 'Desolation Row' responded that 'I wouldn't have wanted to'.
Personal favourite is Boy George on Elton John: 'All that money dear, and she's still got hair like a f**king dinnerlady'.
Tuesday, 18 September 2018
Right Wing Wish List Post Brexit
A blueprint for a trade deal between the UK and the US post-Brexit has been posted online by the right-wing European Research Group of Conservative MPs so let's see what they want to replace the deals we currently have with the European Union.
First up it wants to remove tariffs and EU regulations so we can accept GM foods, chlorine-washed chicken, hormones in meat, pesticides and chemicals in cosmetics.
The free trade deal also proposes opening up the National Health Service, education and legal services to foreign competition and privatisation and the freedom of movement between the UK and USA for workers.
So if you like your chicken full of chlorine, chemicals in your make up, paying for NHS treatment and your jobs taken by Americans rather than Europeans then you should get behind the Boris Johnson's and Jacob Rees-Mogg's of the Government.
Everyone else with a working brain-cell better pray that Theresa May isn't replaced by any of these fringe whack-a-doodle Tories who see this aberration as a good thing for our country.
First up it wants to remove tariffs and EU regulations so we can accept GM foods, chlorine-washed chicken, hormones in meat, pesticides and chemicals in cosmetics.
The free trade deal also proposes opening up the National Health Service, education and legal services to foreign competition and privatisation and the freedom of movement between the UK and USA for workers.
So if you like your chicken full of chlorine, chemicals in your make up, paying for NHS treatment and your jobs taken by Americans rather than Europeans then you should get behind the Boris Johnson's and Jacob Rees-Mogg's of the Government.
Everyone else with a working brain-cell better pray that Theresa May isn't replaced by any of these fringe whack-a-doodle Tories who see this aberration as a good thing for our country.
Stormy Daniels: Full Disclosure
'Trump’s penis is smaller than average but not freakishly small. He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool.I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.'
I can never play Super Mario Brothers ever again.
Sunday, 16 September 2018
Unaffected By Katie Hopkins Plight
You wouldn't want to see anybody get sacked and go bankrupt apart from possibly Katie Hopkins but by a massive stroke of luck that's exactly who has filed for an insolvency agreement.
That comment about 'poor people in debt had no-one to blame but themselves' is sure to get another airing as she joins the poor people after being found guilty of libelling food writer Jack Monroe on Twitter and being ordered to pay substantial damages.
In her time, the big mouth, right wing mouth-piece has been sacked by radio station LBC after channelling her inner Nazi to proclaim that the UK must find a 'final solution' to terrorism and dropped by the Daily Mail for claiming that parts of Britain were in the grip of a 'Muslim mafia' and that there was 'institutionalised discrimination against whites'.
The Sun Newspaper of all places rejected her views that migrants were 'cockroaches' and the sight of dead refugees floating in water left her unaffected.
Given the Hopkins’s track record for making offensive statements, there is unsurprisingly little sympathy for her current financial predicament but one less right-wing view is always gratefully received.
That comment about 'poor people in debt had no-one to blame but themselves' is sure to get another airing as she joins the poor people after being found guilty of libelling food writer Jack Monroe on Twitter and being ordered to pay substantial damages.
In her time, the big mouth, right wing mouth-piece has been sacked by radio station LBC after channelling her inner Nazi to proclaim that the UK must find a 'final solution' to terrorism and dropped by the Daily Mail for claiming that parts of Britain were in the grip of a 'Muslim mafia' and that there was 'institutionalised discrimination against whites'.
The Sun Newspaper of all places rejected her views that migrants were 'cockroaches' and the sight of dead refugees floating in water left her unaffected.
Given the Hopkins’s track record for making offensive statements, there is unsurprisingly little sympathy for her current financial predicament but one less right-wing view is always gratefully received.
Saturday, 15 September 2018
Best Theme Tunes
It may basically be mood music but some Theme Tunes have become as famous as the shows that they are opening.
John Logie Baird said that his newly invented television would revolutionise the world of entertainment but as the world of entertainment up until then had consisted of Charlie Chaplin waving his cane in an amusing manner and walking like he had hemorrhoids, it wasn't much of a boast.
Television has given us some amazingly good theme tunes such as Red Dwarf, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Rawhide, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, A Team, Dr Who, Dogtanian, The Aadams Family and Blackadder.
Jamie & The Magic Torch is a favourite, far too good to be wasted on a cartoon about a boy with a Torch which opens a portal to Cuckoo Land.
I had always assumed that Buffy's intro music by Nerf Herder would be the best theme tune ever but a recently acquired CD of music from TV shows has made me reconsider and wonder if possibly the theme tune to 60's show The Munsters is the best title music out there.
The secret to a good theme tune is that as the programme starts you still have it whirring around in your head which was a bonus for shows such as The Fall Guy and Airwolf which generally slumped seconds after the music finished or in the case of the former, as soon as the announcer had finished the sentence "And now the Fall Guy".
Bloody awful and Majors sang the theme tune with the line 'I die for a livin’ in the movies and TV'. Yep, you sure did.
John Logie Baird said that his newly invented television would revolutionise the world of entertainment but as the world of entertainment up until then had consisted of Charlie Chaplin waving his cane in an amusing manner and walking like he had hemorrhoids, it wasn't much of a boast.
Television has given us some amazingly good theme tunes such as Red Dwarf, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Rawhide, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, A Team, Dr Who, Dogtanian, The Aadams Family and Blackadder.
Jamie & The Magic Torch is a favourite, far too good to be wasted on a cartoon about a boy with a Torch which opens a portal to Cuckoo Land.
I had always assumed that Buffy's intro music by Nerf Herder would be the best theme tune ever but a recently acquired CD of music from TV shows has made me reconsider and wonder if possibly the theme tune to 60's show The Munsters is the best title music out there.
The secret to a good theme tune is that as the programme starts you still have it whirring around in your head which was a bonus for shows such as The Fall Guy and Airwolf which generally slumped seconds after the music finished or in the case of the former, as soon as the announcer had finished the sentence "And now the Fall Guy".
Bloody awful and Majors sang the theme tune with the line 'I die for a livin’ in the movies and TV'. Yep, you sure did.
Friday, 14 September 2018
Dancing In The Moonlight
I've never understood why Michael Jackson called his backwards walking dance move the moonwalk because it looking nothing like the way astronauts walked on the moon but although there are probably more songs about the Sun, the Moon is the second most written about Solar System object unless there is a hatful of songs about the Van Allan Belt i have missed all these years.
Sinatra want to fly to it, the Police were walking on it and REM don't believe they put a Man on it but our closest celestial neighbour has inspired musicians throughout history.
As i own a small bit of the moon, the Vestine crater on the right hand edge between 1 and 2 o'clock, i have been looking to see if any bands owe me copyright money but no luck so far although if NASA plan to build a lunar base anytime soon then i know of a prime piece of lunar real estate in a desirable location with great views of the Earth that we could negotiate.
Bowie sang about Mars, Venus has a few but they are more about the Roman Goddess of love, Train sang about Drops of Jupiter but of the other gas giants, barely a mention although the Vengaboys did released a song called 'Rocket To Uranus' but with a chorus of 'let's have a party on Uranus' and 'Uranus is so pretty' i don't think it was really about the seventh planet from the Sun.
Expanding out further, songs about Stars would probably challenge the number of songs about our Sun but there is something beautiful, romantic and a bit sinister about the Moon and anyway, if a pop star finds something that rhymes with the Vestine Crater then i'm moonwalking backwards all the way to the bank. Kerching!!
Sinatra want to fly to it, the Police were walking on it and REM don't believe they put a Man on it but our closest celestial neighbour has inspired musicians throughout history.
As i own a small bit of the moon, the Vestine crater on the right hand edge between 1 and 2 o'clock, i have been looking to see if any bands owe me copyright money but no luck so far although if NASA plan to build a lunar base anytime soon then i know of a prime piece of lunar real estate in a desirable location with great views of the Earth that we could negotiate.
Bowie sang about Mars, Venus has a few but they are more about the Roman Goddess of love, Train sang about Drops of Jupiter but of the other gas giants, barely a mention although the Vengaboys did released a song called 'Rocket To Uranus' but with a chorus of 'let's have a party on Uranus' and 'Uranus is so pretty' i don't think it was really about the seventh planet from the Sun.
Expanding out further, songs about Stars would probably challenge the number of songs about our Sun but there is something beautiful, romantic and a bit sinister about the Moon and anyway, if a pop star finds something that rhymes with the Vestine Crater then i'm moonwalking backwards all the way to the bank. Kerching!!
Use Your Illusions...Nevermind
The last thing i want to come across as is one of those clapped out old 40-somethings venting her fury on the bands of today not being as worthy as the bands of yesterday. The real shame is that the bands of today are NOT as worthy as the bands of yesterday so us 40 somethings have no choice but to vent our fury on the subject. It's your own fault kids of today, not ours.
We should have put away our ripped, faded jeans and converse trainers a long time ago but since the early 90s there has been a void in music, a couple of decades of insipid pap offered up and although it probably isn't wise to take advice from a man who sang 'I swear that I don't have a gun' just before he blew his brains out with a shotgun, Kurt Cobain did predict it when he said: 'It's sad to think what the state of rock'n'roll will be in 20 years from now' but if Kurt was still with us and saw the state of music today he would be very sombre indeed.
As evidence that our oldies music rule and your kids music suck, I offer two of the best albums ever to be shoplifted from HMV and both were released 27 years ago this month within a week of each other, the pinnacle of music coming down to a week in mid-September 1991.
First up was Nirvana's 'Nevermind' on the 17th followed by 'Use your Illusions 1 & 2' by Guns N Roses on the 24th.
You would have to wait a long time to find another album that came close to Nevermind and songs like 'Smells Like Teen-Spirit', 'Lithium', 'In Bloom' and 'Come As You Are' or, as it turned out, you only had to wait a week because 'Use your Illusions 1 & 2' was released at midnight the following weekend and i was stood outside a record shop for a second time in 7 days waiting for the doors to open at midnight and to swap a ten pound note and a few pound coins for a slab of vinyl.
Who have the kids today got who can compare to Kurt Cobain, Axel Rose and Slash? Ariana Grande? Ed Sheeran? The last winner of X Factor?
Of course you can't really blame the kids, they can only buy what is served up to them and we are in a depressing cycle of reality show contestants stinking up the charts with bland, plastic pop but with music being so fragmented into so many genres, i can't really see another grunge or punk movement happening which is a shame because it gives people like me the opportunity to say 'your music sucks'
to the kids which is exactly what my parents said to me and i hate the way today's uninteresting music and musicians has turned me into my parents.
We should have put away our ripped, faded jeans and converse trainers a long time ago but since the early 90s there has been a void in music, a couple of decades of insipid pap offered up and although it probably isn't wise to take advice from a man who sang 'I swear that I don't have a gun' just before he blew his brains out with a shotgun, Kurt Cobain did predict it when he said: 'It's sad to think what the state of rock'n'roll will be in 20 years from now' but if Kurt was still with us and saw the state of music today he would be very sombre indeed.
As evidence that our oldies music rule and your kids music suck, I offer two of the best albums ever to be shoplifted from HMV and both were released 27 years ago this month within a week of each other, the pinnacle of music coming down to a week in mid-September 1991.
First up was Nirvana's 'Nevermind' on the 17th followed by 'Use your Illusions 1 & 2' by Guns N Roses on the 24th.
You would have to wait a long time to find another album that came close to Nevermind and songs like 'Smells Like Teen-Spirit', 'Lithium', 'In Bloom' and 'Come As You Are' or, as it turned out, you only had to wait a week because 'Use your Illusions 1 & 2' was released at midnight the following weekend and i was stood outside a record shop for a second time in 7 days waiting for the doors to open at midnight and to swap a ten pound note and a few pound coins for a slab of vinyl.
Who have the kids today got who can compare to Kurt Cobain, Axel Rose and Slash? Ariana Grande? Ed Sheeran? The last winner of X Factor?
Of course you can't really blame the kids, they can only buy what is served up to them and we are in a depressing cycle of reality show contestants stinking up the charts with bland, plastic pop but with music being so fragmented into so many genres, i can't really see another grunge or punk movement happening which is a shame because it gives people like me the opportunity to say 'your music sucks'
to the kids which is exactly what my parents said to me and i hate the way today's uninteresting music and musicians has turned me into my parents.
Thursday, 13 September 2018
Metal Heads
We have all been there during a test and stuck on Question B and on one side of us we have a leather clad headbanger wearing a Metallica T-shirt and dirty jeans and on the other a neatly decked out person who listens to Radiohead so we take a peek at the answer for question B on the one not humming 'Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter' but that way leads to failure and a big D on the bottom of the paper.
Rather than being two IQ points away from being fed grass and milked as is the usual perception of metal-heads, a study published by the National Academy for Gifted and Talented Youth (a body which represents the top 5% of academic achievement) reveals that a disproportionate number of their members list heavy metal as their favourite kind of music.
The study also notes that its metal loving members are also the ones that have the most difficulties with relationships so that stereo-type is still correct then.
So if you want a conversation about Marx, Rousseau or the UN Convention on the rights of a child then look for someone whipping their hair back ands forth as they deafen themselves with Slayer but i'd go elsewhere for fashion advice unless you are into black.
Now where's that Best of Anthrax CD....
Rather than being two IQ points away from being fed grass and milked as is the usual perception of metal-heads, a study published by the National Academy for Gifted and Talented Youth (a body which represents the top 5% of academic achievement) reveals that a disproportionate number of their members list heavy metal as their favourite kind of music.
The study also notes that its metal loving members are also the ones that have the most difficulties with relationships so that stereo-type is still correct then.
So if you want a conversation about Marx, Rousseau or the UN Convention on the rights of a child then look for someone whipping their hair back ands forth as they deafen themselves with Slayer but i'd go elsewhere for fashion advice unless you are into black.
Now where's that Best of Anthrax CD....
Baldness Cures From History
When i was a kid we would sing 'Baldy Baldy Over There, what's it like to have no hair, is it hot or is it cold, what's it like to be bald?' but i wouldn't dream of singing it to anyone bald now, shout out slaphead of course, but i wouldn't sing to them.
Luckily the only thing us women have to worry about with our hair is to make sure the wind doesn't blow it into a Farah Fawcett style 70's flick but some men are not so lucky and would do anything to not feel the wind on their spreading bald patch.
There have been many 'hair growth breakthroughs' but none seem to work but history has a long list of tried and tested methods to restore hair.
The Egyptians treated baldness by applying a balm consisting of the mixed fats of lion, hippo, crocodile, cat, serpent, and ibex and Cleopatra devised a remedy of ground mice and horse teeth for her lover Julius Caesar but it obviously didn't work as he continued to wear a laurel wreath to hide it.
Hippocrates hit upon the cure consisting of pigeon droppings, opium, beetroot, horseradish, and spices to but when it failed to work he recommended castration noticing that that eunuchs never lost their hair.
In traditional Indian medicine, cow urine was rubbed into the bald patch while the British went for rubbing tea and lemon into their thinning locks, what is it with the British and their tea??
The fountain of all knowledge that is the internet has solutions including bull semen which is rich in protein which helps to stimulate hair growth but if you don't fancy a head full of sperm then there is always a paste made from chilli peppers which is popular in Korea and Kim Jong Un has a lovely head of hair.
Onion juice is apparently another cure as it cleanses the scalp of growth inhibitors but the most popular is yeast infection cream with the active ingredient miconazole nitrate, an antifungal agent.
If you are a baldy then you have nothing to lose by trying them all (maybe not the eunuch one) and if you want to sneak into your wifes medicine cabinet so you can slather her thrush cream on your head, that’s up to you.
Luckily the only thing us women have to worry about with our hair is to make sure the wind doesn't blow it into a Farah Fawcett style 70's flick but some men are not so lucky and would do anything to not feel the wind on their spreading bald patch.
There have been many 'hair growth breakthroughs' but none seem to work but history has a long list of tried and tested methods to restore hair.
The Egyptians treated baldness by applying a balm consisting of the mixed fats of lion, hippo, crocodile, cat, serpent, and ibex and Cleopatra devised a remedy of ground mice and horse teeth for her lover Julius Caesar but it obviously didn't work as he continued to wear a laurel wreath to hide it.
Hippocrates hit upon the cure consisting of pigeon droppings, opium, beetroot, horseradish, and spices to but when it failed to work he recommended castration noticing that that eunuchs never lost their hair.
In traditional Indian medicine, cow urine was rubbed into the bald patch while the British went for rubbing tea and lemon into their thinning locks, what is it with the British and their tea??
The fountain of all knowledge that is the internet has solutions including bull semen which is rich in protein which helps to stimulate hair growth but if you don't fancy a head full of sperm then there is always a paste made from chilli peppers which is popular in Korea and Kim Jong Un has a lovely head of hair.
Onion juice is apparently another cure as it cleanses the scalp of growth inhibitors but the most popular is yeast infection cream with the active ingredient miconazole nitrate, an antifungal agent.
If you are a baldy then you have nothing to lose by trying them all (maybe not the eunuch one) and if you want to sneak into your wifes medicine cabinet so you can slather her thrush cream on your head, that’s up to you.
Call In The Space Force
Our single star has eight planets circling it and there are 100 billion stars in our galaxy and there are 200 billion galaxies strung out across the Universe and if we say each star has at least four planets orbiting it, well, i don't have enough fingers to work out how many potential planets that is in all but it's a lot and it would be madness to think life wasn't on at least one of them.
Whether they are coming here to take a look at us funny looking carbon based bipeds is another story but the FBI is acting strange or rather stranger than usual anyway.
FBI agents have swooped on a space institution, the Sunspot Solar Observatory, evacuated it and banned from Sun observations for a week and closed off the entire area.
Local police said they had received reports that FBI agents arrived in a Blackhawk helicopter and swooped around the observatory. They would not even tell the local law enforcement why they were there, police said.
The mystery and the observatory's usual work has led to theories across the internet suggesting the shutdown came after scientists spotted something they shouldn't have.
This sound like a job for Donald Trump's Space Force!
Whether they are coming here to take a look at us funny looking carbon based bipeds is another story but the FBI is acting strange or rather stranger than usual anyway.
FBI agents have swooped on a space institution, the Sunspot Solar Observatory, evacuated it and banned from Sun observations for a week and closed off the entire area.
Local police said they had received reports that FBI agents arrived in a Blackhawk helicopter and swooped around the observatory. They would not even tell the local law enforcement why they were there, police said.
The mystery and the observatory's usual work has led to theories across the internet suggesting the shutdown came after scientists spotted something they shouldn't have.
This sound like a job for Donald Trump's Space Force!
Guilty As Charged
The explanation of a sight-seeing trip to Salisbury offered by the two suspects in the Sergei Skripal poisoning for their presence in the area is so implausible that it makes you question just why the Russians chose this flimsy alibi when they could have come up with something far more believable.
The Russian's have made strenuous efforts to challenge the claims made by the UK that thee two were behind the poisoning but after CCTV footage was released, going there for an hour and then leaving because of the snow and maybe happening to pass the Skripal House by accident is beyond weak.
In an interview, the men confirmed they were the people in the CCTV images but they were just there to see: 'it’s famous 123-metre spire, it’s famous for its clock, the first one of its kind ever created in the world, which is still working' and while they were in Salisbury 'maybe approached Skripal’s house, but we didn’t know where it was located'.
British counter-terrorism policing sources have said that they stand by everything they had said in naming two individuals from Russia as being responsible for the attack and listening to the paper thin alibi they have given, they are probably right to.
The Russian's have made strenuous efforts to challenge the claims made by the UK that thee two were behind the poisoning but after CCTV footage was released, going there for an hour and then leaving because of the snow and maybe happening to pass the Skripal House by accident is beyond weak.
In an interview, the men confirmed they were the people in the CCTV images but they were just there to see: 'it’s famous 123-metre spire, it’s famous for its clock, the first one of its kind ever created in the world, which is still working' and while they were in Salisbury 'maybe approached Skripal’s house, but we didn’t know where it was located'.
British counter-terrorism policing sources have said that they stand by everything they had said in naming two individuals from Russia as being responsible for the attack and listening to the paper thin alibi they have given, they are probably right to.
Wednesday, 12 September 2018
Blame The Parents
We like to think that since we were 18 we have matured, become more rounder individuals and wouldn't be seen dead with the haircut we had back then but science has said that something that wouldn't have changed is taste in music because by the time we blow out the candles on our 18th birthday cake, our musical tastes are locked in.
Neuroscientist Daniel Levitin explains that until we hit our 18th year, our brains are still developing and creating neural pathways especially between aged 10 and 18 when the brain is creating the most deepest pathways influenced by what we see and hear and if it's hearing mostly rap and hip hop in those formative years then you are destined for a future of track suits, big chains and saying
stupid things like 'that's dope' to people who will slowly edge away from you.
For me this all rings true, my musical tastes are not so far different to what they where when i was wearing a denim jacket and used food dye to colour my hair.
So if you are reading this while listening to Country and Western and wondering why the hell you like it i would blame your parents for playing Dolly Parton's Greatest Hits on a loop back when you were a teenager and conditioning your brain to enjoy naff songs about pick-up trucks and moonshine sung by men called Billy Bob or Buck.
Neuroscientist Daniel Levitin explains that until we hit our 18th year, our brains are still developing and creating neural pathways especially between aged 10 and 18 when the brain is creating the most deepest pathways influenced by what we see and hear and if it's hearing mostly rap and hip hop in those formative years then you are destined for a future of track suits, big chains and saying
stupid things like 'that's dope' to people who will slowly edge away from you.
For me this all rings true, my musical tastes are not so far different to what they where when i was wearing a denim jacket and used food dye to colour my hair.
So if you are reading this while listening to Country and Western and wondering why the hell you like it i would blame your parents for playing Dolly Parton's Greatest Hits on a loop back when you were a teenager and conditioning your brain to enjoy naff songs about pick-up trucks and moonshine sung by men called Billy Bob or Buck.
How's That Climate Change Denial Working Out Then?
Kinda ironic that the country that has dealt the most damage to the environment and is currently run by a leader who dismisses climate change as a conspiracy theory is about to feel the full force of it when Hurricane Florence and it's 140 mph winds arrive on it's shore.
About 1.7 million people across North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia have been told to leave their homes ahead of the storm's arrival which is expected to dump 40 inches of rain and cause widespread flooding.
The category four storm is currently 520 miles off the coast and strengthening in the warmer than usual waters of the Atlantic and is expected to make landfall on Thursday.
Trump, his supporters and all those wacky climate change deniers are about to get a close up view of exactly what Climate Change looks like.
About 1.7 million people across North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia have been told to leave their homes ahead of the storm's arrival which is expected to dump 40 inches of rain and cause widespread flooding.
The category four storm is currently 520 miles off the coast and strengthening in the warmer than usual waters of the Atlantic and is expected to make landfall on Thursday.
Trump, his supporters and all those wacky climate change deniers are about to get a close up view of exactly what Climate Change looks like.
Next Conservative Leader Runners And Riders
How a secret meeting can be called secret when we all knew about it is beyond me but around 50 MP's met up 'in secret' to discuss just how and when to boot the Prime Minister out of office as the Conservatives tear themselves apart over Brexit.
To force through a vote of no confidence and spark a leadership battle a minimum of 48 letters need to be submitted to the 1922 Committee to trigger a vote and i would assume the required number of letters have been written and now it is just a matter of when they hand them in.
Theresa May has vowed to fight any Tory leadership election but looking at who is set to line up against her, she shouldn't be too worried.
Boris Johnson is the favourite and is equally loved and loathed within his party and his recent split from his wife after yet another extra marital affair has not done him any favours.
Sajid Javid is second favourite but was a firm remainer and to the Brexiters, electing him would be swapping like for like so unlikely to appeal to those pushing the knife into the second female Prime Minister.
Then there is Jacob Rees-Mogg, the man nicknamed as the Minister for the 18th Century as him and his views are so old fashioned which has made him a bit of a cartoon character in many eyes.
The environment secretary, Michael Gove, is fourth favourite and has made no secret of being after the top job and ran against her previously after David Cameron stepped down and famously stabbed Boris Johnson in the back while doing so which didn't enamour him to his party members.
Fifth favourite is Jeremy Hunt but is a recent addition to the hard-Brexit side, previously being a die hard Remainer and was one of the least loved Health Secretaries in history overseeing the running down of the NHS so may be popular with Conservative members but is too disliked in the country to win an election.
The bookies offer long odds on another female Prime Minister in the shape of Penny Mordaunt and Andrea Leadsom but realistically the next Prime Minister will come from the top five men which looking at the list, is not a great proposition but should make winning the next election easier for the Labour Party.
To force through a vote of no confidence and spark a leadership battle a minimum of 48 letters need to be submitted to the 1922 Committee to trigger a vote and i would assume the required number of letters have been written and now it is just a matter of when they hand them in.
Theresa May has vowed to fight any Tory leadership election but looking at who is set to line up against her, she shouldn't be too worried.
Boris Johnson is the favourite and is equally loved and loathed within his party and his recent split from his wife after yet another extra marital affair has not done him any favours.
Sajid Javid is second favourite but was a firm remainer and to the Brexiters, electing him would be swapping like for like so unlikely to appeal to those pushing the knife into the second female Prime Minister.
Then there is Jacob Rees-Mogg, the man nicknamed as the Minister for the 18th Century as him and his views are so old fashioned which has made him a bit of a cartoon character in many eyes.
The environment secretary, Michael Gove, is fourth favourite and has made no secret of being after the top job and ran against her previously after David Cameron stepped down and famously stabbed Boris Johnson in the back while doing so which didn't enamour him to his party members.
Fifth favourite is Jeremy Hunt but is a recent addition to the hard-Brexit side, previously being a die hard Remainer and was one of the least loved Health Secretaries in history overseeing the running down of the NHS so may be popular with Conservative members but is too disliked in the country to win an election.
The bookies offer long odds on another female Prime Minister in the shape of Penny Mordaunt and Andrea Leadsom but realistically the next Prime Minister will come from the top five men which looking at the list, is not a great proposition but should make winning the next election easier for the Labour Party.
Monday, 10 September 2018
Bitchin'
I never really appreciated rap and hip hop back in it's heyday, partly because a big chunky gold chain and a shell suit is not the coolest of combinations, but one of the best lines in music comes from the Run DMC song 'It's Like That' where the boys make the suggestion that 'Next time someones teaching why don't you get taught'.
A great line but apart from a handful of Run DMC songs and few by Grandmaster Flash, rap seemed to have not really been on my radar but the fly psychiatrists at Cambridge University have obviously been paying attention to it because they have come up with a def idea that ‘hip-hop’ therapy could help the depressed and mentally ill.
'Much of hip-hop comes from areas of great socioeconomic deprivation, so it’s inevitable that its lyrics will reflect the issues faced by people brought up in these areas, including poverty, marginalisation, crime and drugs' explained Homeboy Dr Akeem Sule, of the University of Cambridge.
'Hip-hop artists use their skills and talents not only to describe the world they see, but also as a means of breaking free. There’s often a message of hope in amongst the lyrics' and the team have chosen the top three hip-hop songs which they believe can help mental illness.
Not meaning to diss him but i don't know the song 'Juicy' by The Notorious BIG or the Wack sounding J flex ft Lady of R's 1997 buggin 'Lady Heroin' but i am very familiar with 'The
Message' by Grand Master Flash & The Furious Five, mostly because it was used to help kids learn how to cross the road in the 80's (you don't push anyone when they're are close to the edge as i recall).
Music can certainly be very emotive and can stir some deep emotions so the Cambridge boffins are probably on to something and it may be rap music for some and Country and Western for others, another genre of music that i pretty much ignored, but i find listening to Christmas songs at any time of the year a massive lifter.
Hearing 'Merry Christmas Everyone' coming from the CD player in July while waving my hands in the air like i just don't care also serves as a great warning sign to others that it probably isn't the best time to ask for a favour. Word.
A great line but apart from a handful of Run DMC songs and few by Grandmaster Flash, rap seemed to have not really been on my radar but the fly psychiatrists at Cambridge University have obviously been paying attention to it because they have come up with a def idea that ‘hip-hop’ therapy could help the depressed and mentally ill.
'Much of hip-hop comes from areas of great socioeconomic deprivation, so it’s inevitable that its lyrics will reflect the issues faced by people brought up in these areas, including poverty, marginalisation, crime and drugs' explained Homeboy Dr Akeem Sule, of the University of Cambridge.
'Hip-hop artists use their skills and talents not only to describe the world they see, but also as a means of breaking free. There’s often a message of hope in amongst the lyrics' and the team have chosen the top three hip-hop songs which they believe can help mental illness.
Not meaning to diss him but i don't know the song 'Juicy' by The Notorious BIG or the Wack sounding J flex ft Lady of R's 1997 buggin 'Lady Heroin' but i am very familiar with 'The
Message' by Grand Master Flash & The Furious Five, mostly because it was used to help kids learn how to cross the road in the 80's (you don't push anyone when they're are close to the edge as i recall).
Music can certainly be very emotive and can stir some deep emotions so the Cambridge boffins are probably on to something and it may be rap music for some and Country and Western for others, another genre of music that i pretty much ignored, but i find listening to Christmas songs at any time of the year a massive lifter.
Hearing 'Merry Christmas Everyone' coming from the CD player in July while waving my hands in the air like i just don't care also serves as a great warning sign to others that it probably isn't the best time to ask for a favour. Word.
Religious Education Lesson 1
Schools are reporting that they do not have enough teachers of Religious Education so the Religious Education Council of England and Wales (REC) are starting a campaign aiming to attract RE teachers to boost religious literacy.
I feel that i am able to step up and help them over the course of a 39 week school year so the first lesson in Week 1 is: 'listen kids, there is no God, the whole heaven and hell and religion thing is a massive myth so you can now spend the next 38 weeks learning something which is actually useful to you'.
I expect my cheque to be in the post in due course Religious Education Council and you are very welcome.
I feel that i am able to step up and help them over the course of a 39 week school year so the first lesson in Week 1 is: 'listen kids, there is no God, the whole heaven and hell and religion thing is a massive myth so you can now spend the next 38 weeks learning something which is actually useful to you'.
I expect my cheque to be in the post in due course Religious Education Council and you are very welcome.
Saturday, 8 September 2018
No More Political Songs
Politics can be difficult to follow sometimes but most people break down into right-wing or left-wing and musicians generally fall into the latter category because music isn’t very right wing.
There are not many songs that highlight right wing ideals with lyrics about smaller Government, free markets and more wars against Muslim countries filled with oil or heaping praise upon right wing luminaries such as Margaret Thatcher, Donald Trump or Hitler but once you couldn't swing a cat without hitting songs espousing left-wing ideals that oppose various current political regimes, reject war or call for equality to assorted oppressed groups but the well of political songs seemed to have dried up over the last decade or so.
With so much awfulness going on around the globe you have to wonder why more artists are not turning to politics for inspiration so why are our pop stars of today afraid to say what so many of us think when when we watch the news?
Political music can act as an incredibly powerful tool for raising awareness and bringing people together if it's done well but it's not easy to write a catchy tune encompassing complex issues that also have to rhyme and scan properly.
In an interview during their politically charged 'American Idiot' days, Billy Joe Armstrong said that the reason their album was so successful here was because they were pushing a point of view against the Iraq War that was marginalised within the mainstream media in the USA in favour of flag waving pro-war fervour while here in the UK that simply wasn't the case, the UK audience just got and agreed with their anti-War message.
That there is the crux of the matter, if Green Day and other bands (remember the Dixie Chicks fracas) who take a political side that go against what the people who have the power to advertise, expose, play and put their music out there then they will wither on the vine so they just avoid that whole area altogether to avoid career suicide.
Punk and the early rap/hip hop music was political but now it's seen as bland aural wallpaper and nobody has the political, or more importantly commercial courage, to take a stand and say 'this is wrong' in a three minute format for fear of being commercially sidelined for it.
There are not many songs that highlight right wing ideals with lyrics about smaller Government, free markets and more wars against Muslim countries filled with oil or heaping praise upon right wing luminaries such as Margaret Thatcher, Donald Trump or Hitler but once you couldn't swing a cat without hitting songs espousing left-wing ideals that oppose various current political regimes, reject war or call for equality to assorted oppressed groups but the well of political songs seemed to have dried up over the last decade or so.
With so much awfulness going on around the globe you have to wonder why more artists are not turning to politics for inspiration so why are our pop stars of today afraid to say what so many of us think when when we watch the news?
Political music can act as an incredibly powerful tool for raising awareness and bringing people together if it's done well but it's not easy to write a catchy tune encompassing complex issues that also have to rhyme and scan properly.
In an interview during their politically charged 'American Idiot' days, Billy Joe Armstrong said that the reason their album was so successful here was because they were pushing a point of view against the Iraq War that was marginalised within the mainstream media in the USA in favour of flag waving pro-war fervour while here in the UK that simply wasn't the case, the UK audience just got and agreed with their anti-War message.
That there is the crux of the matter, if Green Day and other bands (remember the Dixie Chicks fracas) who take a political side that go against what the people who have the power to advertise, expose, play and put their music out there then they will wither on the vine so they just avoid that whole area altogether to avoid career suicide.
Punk and the early rap/hip hop music was political but now it's seen as bland aural wallpaper and nobody has the political, or more importantly commercial courage, to take a stand and say 'this is wrong' in a three minute format for fear of being commercially sidelined for it.
Jail Time For Musicians
The general attitude in many of the more religious nations is that music is forbidden so stores do not have music playing and music is not taught in schools and musicians have even been jailed for writing songs and worse for songs that are deemed anti-state.
Amnesty Internationals position on this is that: 'This is a ludicrous way to treat people just for writing songs' but hold on Amnesty, let's not be too hasty here because but i know a few song writers that would benefit all of us if we started banging up anyone who is an affront to music.
First in the dock getting life with no parole would be Paul McCartney for pretty much everything since 1970 and following him in would be The Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart and Phil Collins for clogging up my radio with tosh for as long as i can remember.
Billy Ray Cyrus deserves a spell in solitary for 'Achy Breaky Heart' in the cell next to his daughter and down the corridor Celine 'My Heart Will Go On' Dion and if someone had arrested the Village people after 'YMCA' we would have been spared 'In the Navy'.
All Reggae groups should be locked away for a long time for having careers which consisted of every song having the same tune and Meatloaf should face a jury for making every song 10 minutes long.
A suspended sentence should be handed down to all country music singers and anyone who uses an Hawaiian guitar in their songs, female singers who do that wobbly voice thing where they go up and down the scales mid-song, actors who think they can sing, comedy singers and boy bands who sing vaguely remembered 70's ballads with their shirts off and any band who sells the rights of their songs to advertisers and ruin that special song by forever being associated with toilet roll.
Amnesty Internationals position on this is that: 'This is a ludicrous way to treat people just for writing songs' but hold on Amnesty, let's not be too hasty here because but i know a few song writers that would benefit all of us if we started banging up anyone who is an affront to music.
First in the dock getting life with no parole would be Paul McCartney for pretty much everything since 1970 and following him in would be The Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart and Phil Collins for clogging up my radio with tosh for as long as i can remember.
Billy Ray Cyrus deserves a spell in solitary for 'Achy Breaky Heart' in the cell next to his daughter and down the corridor Celine 'My Heart Will Go On' Dion and if someone had arrested the Village people after 'YMCA' we would have been spared 'In the Navy'.
All Reggae groups should be locked away for a long time for having careers which consisted of every song having the same tune and Meatloaf should face a jury for making every song 10 minutes long.
A suspended sentence should be handed down to all country music singers and anyone who uses an Hawaiian guitar in their songs, female singers who do that wobbly voice thing where they go up and down the scales mid-song, actors who think they can sing, comedy singers and boy bands who sing vaguely remembered 70's ballads with their shirts off and any band who sells the rights of their songs to advertisers and ruin that special song by forever being associated with toilet roll.
Friday, 7 September 2018
The Long And Short Of Song Length
The current organ performance of As Slow as Possible at St Burchardi church in Halberstadt, Germany, began in 2001 and is scheduled to end in 2640. There have been periods of silence, there was an 18-month pause until February 5 2003 which came as a welcome relief to some but where in the rules does it say that music has to have a set length?
The vast majority of pop songs are still between two and five minutes long and much more than that and there is little chance of it being played on the radio or music channels and for us children of the 80s the only way you would get a song over 5 minutes back then was to buy the 12" Extended Remix although they were mostly just an instrumental version with the original song tacked on the end.
I much prefer short, punchy songs but as a life long Guns N Roses fan i get a bit of both from 3 minute rock outs (Perfect Crime, Right Next Door To Hell, Garden of Eden) to 7 minute plus epics (Coma, November Rain, Civil War).
I sometimes wonder why musicians spin out long songs when really they'd said and done everything in 3 minutes, the 17 minutes of Inna Gadda Da Vidi just seems excessive and the 12 minutes plus of Meat Loaf's 'I Would Do Anything For Love' is about 11 minutes too long but then Meat Loaf never has sung anything in 3 minutes when he can sing it in 9.
There are some brilliant longer songs but they are mainly the ones that start off as one song and then turn into something else halfway through such as 'One' by Metallica, 'The Spirit of Radio' by Rush and Lynyrd Skynyrd's 'Free Bird' which is the ultimate 'pfft, this-is-boring' first 4 minutes to 'wow, this-is-brilliant' last 5 minutes.
For fans of the long songs in music, the average length of the pop song has been creeping ever-upwards over the years, from 2 minutes 36 seconds in the 1950s, up to a patience-testing 4 minute 26 seconds today and i put the blame firmly on Meat Loaf and German organ performances for that.
The vast majority of pop songs are still between two and five minutes long and much more than that and there is little chance of it being played on the radio or music channels and for us children of the 80s the only way you would get a song over 5 minutes back then was to buy the 12" Extended Remix although they were mostly just an instrumental version with the original song tacked on the end.
I much prefer short, punchy songs but as a life long Guns N Roses fan i get a bit of both from 3 minute rock outs (Perfect Crime, Right Next Door To Hell, Garden of Eden) to 7 minute plus epics (Coma, November Rain, Civil War).
I sometimes wonder why musicians spin out long songs when really they'd said and done everything in 3 minutes, the 17 minutes of Inna Gadda Da Vidi just seems excessive and the 12 minutes plus of Meat Loaf's 'I Would Do Anything For Love' is about 11 minutes too long but then Meat Loaf never has sung anything in 3 minutes when he can sing it in 9.
There are some brilliant longer songs but they are mainly the ones that start off as one song and then turn into something else halfway through such as 'One' by Metallica, 'The Spirit of Radio' by Rush and Lynyrd Skynyrd's 'Free Bird' which is the ultimate 'pfft, this-is-boring' first 4 minutes to 'wow, this-is-brilliant' last 5 minutes.
For fans of the long songs in music, the average length of the pop song has been creeping ever-upwards over the years, from 2 minutes 36 seconds in the 1950s, up to a patience-testing 4 minute 26 seconds today and i put the blame firmly on Meat Loaf and German organ performances for that.
A Lack Of All Girl Bands
As i go about the task of picking the 500 top songs to go on my whizzy new Mp3 player, i noticed two things with the first being i do seem to favour songs pre-2000 and that i have a serious lack of all female bands on my slowly dwindling list.
The Bangles and The Donnas are the sole representatives left standing so either it's me or there are a lack of good all female bands.
I saw a Behind the Music VH1 show once about The Bangles which suggested the rest of them got fed up with Susannah Hoffs getting drooled over and considering some of the other all female bands, jealousy does seem to be contributing factor of why they seem to implode.
Pondering on it some more, i reached the further conclusion that the all girl bands who reach the top, think Sugarbabes, Spice Girls, Girls Aloud, Mis-Teeq, Destiny's Child, All Saints etc don't play any instruments which means that unlike in a band which has the standard hierarchy of singer, guitarists and drummer, they all share the same spotlight whereas in a band the singer invariably gets all the attention.
Working this through, in most cases one member gains more attention than the others so Spice Girls it was Geri, Girls Aloud it was Cheryl Cole, All Saints Shaznay Lewis, in Mis-Teeq Alesha Dixon took the attention, Beyonce in Destiny's Child and so on so although they are all doing the same thing, one gaining more attention (and even being more prominently featured in magazines) is probably always going to cause friction.
As this is all based on one VH1 episode about The Bangles i could be completely wrong but Susannah Hoffs getting all the limelight seemed to be the cause of their split but as they played instruments and were a proper 'band', they stayed together by tolerating it a long longer then all the just singers bands whose members assume they have a chance of making it as a solo artist whereas the drummer and bass player of most bands, not quite so much.
The Bangles and The Donnas are the sole representatives left standing so either it's me or there are a lack of good all female bands.
I saw a Behind the Music VH1 show once about The Bangles which suggested the rest of them got fed up with Susannah Hoffs getting drooled over and considering some of the other all female bands, jealousy does seem to be contributing factor of why they seem to implode.
Pondering on it some more, i reached the further conclusion that the all girl bands who reach the top, think Sugarbabes, Spice Girls, Girls Aloud, Mis-Teeq, Destiny's Child, All Saints etc don't play any instruments which means that unlike in a band which has the standard hierarchy of singer, guitarists and drummer, they all share the same spotlight whereas in a band the singer invariably gets all the attention.
Working this through, in most cases one member gains more attention than the others so Spice Girls it was Geri, Girls Aloud it was Cheryl Cole, All Saints Shaznay Lewis, in Mis-Teeq Alesha Dixon took the attention, Beyonce in Destiny's Child and so on so although they are all doing the same thing, one gaining more attention (and even being more prominently featured in magazines) is probably always going to cause friction.
As this is all based on one VH1 episode about The Bangles i could be completely wrong but Susannah Hoffs getting all the limelight seemed to be the cause of their split but as they played instruments and were a proper 'band', they stayed together by tolerating it a long longer then all the just singers bands whose members assume they have a chance of making it as a solo artist whereas the drummer and bass player of most bands, not quite so much.
Holding Two Contrary Thoughts On Elon Musk
I am in a bind with Space X head Elon Musk, on the one hand i want him and his Space Exploration operation to succeed but on the other the guy is an absolute dick and i don't want any success to come to him.
I was always in the Musk camp right up until he threw a tantrum over the Thai children rescue where he tried to muscle in with a submarine he designed and was told it wasn't needed on which he threw appalling insults at the rescuer, calling him a paedophile.
Then he whinged continually about the press writing negative comments about him and today he gave an interview while smoking a cannabis joint.
Tesla stock fell by 9% following this latest interview and that's where my bind comes in because where i would love it if the obnoxious idiot and his companies fell from a great height, he is pushing Space exploration onwards and upwards much faster than if it was left to NASA or the ESA.
In a perfect world someone else will come up behind him and overtake him, someone who isn't such a douche bag, but until then it's a case of holding the two contrary positions of hating the person but hoping his company succeeds which gives me a headache.
I was always in the Musk camp right up until he threw a tantrum over the Thai children rescue where he tried to muscle in with a submarine he designed and was told it wasn't needed on which he threw appalling insults at the rescuer, calling him a paedophile.
Then he whinged continually about the press writing negative comments about him and today he gave an interview while smoking a cannabis joint.
Tesla stock fell by 9% following this latest interview and that's where my bind comes in because where i would love it if the obnoxious idiot and his companies fell from a great height, he is pushing Space exploration onwards and upwards much faster than if it was left to NASA or the ESA.
In a perfect world someone else will come up behind him and overtake him, someone who isn't such a douche bag, but until then it's a case of holding the two contrary positions of hating the person but hoping his company succeeds which gives me a headache.
Thursday, 6 September 2018
Musicians Before They Were Famous
Not shy to blow his own trumpet, Kanye West once said that he is the No 1 living and breathing rock star but whether he was the No1 T-shirt folder when he worked at GAP is strangely not something he boasts about.
Musicians may be effortlessly cool now but they all had to start somewhere and while Kanye may have been working on his raps while selling brand new brightly coloured trousers, Freddie Mercury was selling second hand ones on a market stall before him and his band made it big.
Before Beyonce sang about putting a ring on it she was putting a rinse on it as a hairdresser and Kurt Cobain was smelling less like teen spirit and more like floor polish at his janitors job before Nirvana came knocking.
Less fragrant was Chris Cornell and Jarvis Cocker who both had jobs cleaning up the fish guts at the local fish markets and Cyndi Lauper's sense of smell would have been equally as assaulted as her first job as a dog kennel cleaner.
If you were after fast food in the 80s and 90s you could have been served by Madonna in Dunkin' Donuts, Pink at McDonald's or even Eminem who was a cook in a greasy spoon cafe.
Eddie Vedder was a Security Guard and Kelis and her bitter shandies bought all the guys to the bar in her job as a barmaid while David Bowie was a butcher and Elvis got his blue suede shoes all over the brake pedal in the delivery truck he drove.
Teaching turned out to be a first career choice for Gene Simmons, Sting and Art Garfunkel before choosing music over text books and Jack White decided that as a furniture upholsterer he made a decent musician and Elvis Costello wasn't pumping it up at the bank so bought some Buddy Holly style spectacles and tried song writing instead.
Mick Jagger worked as a porter at a mental Hospital, Rod Stewart wasn't asking anybody if he was sexy when he was a gravedigger and Jon Bon Jovi worked in a factory assembling Christmas Decorations but you wouldn't expect Ozzy Osbourne to have just have any boring old job, the Prince of Darkness worked in a Factory tuning car horns and it doesn't get much more rock n Roll than that!
Musicians may be effortlessly cool now but they all had to start somewhere and while Kanye may have been working on his raps while selling brand new brightly coloured trousers, Freddie Mercury was selling second hand ones on a market stall before him and his band made it big.
Before Beyonce sang about putting a ring on it she was putting a rinse on it as a hairdresser and Kurt Cobain was smelling less like teen spirit and more like floor polish at his janitors job before Nirvana came knocking.
Less fragrant was Chris Cornell and Jarvis Cocker who both had jobs cleaning up the fish guts at the local fish markets and Cyndi Lauper's sense of smell would have been equally as assaulted as her first job as a dog kennel cleaner.
If you were after fast food in the 80s and 90s you could have been served by Madonna in Dunkin' Donuts, Pink at McDonald's or even Eminem who was a cook in a greasy spoon cafe.
Eddie Vedder was a Security Guard and Kelis and her bitter shandies bought all the guys to the bar in her job as a barmaid while David Bowie was a butcher and Elvis got his blue suede shoes all over the brake pedal in the delivery truck he drove.
Teaching turned out to be a first career choice for Gene Simmons, Sting and Art Garfunkel before choosing music over text books and Jack White decided that as a furniture upholsterer he made a decent musician and Elvis Costello wasn't pumping it up at the bank so bought some Buddy Holly style spectacles and tried song writing instead.
Mick Jagger worked as a porter at a mental Hospital, Rod Stewart wasn't asking anybody if he was sexy when he was a gravedigger and Jon Bon Jovi worked in a factory assembling Christmas Decorations but you wouldn't expect Ozzy Osbourne to have just have any boring old job, the Prince of Darkness worked in a Factory tuning car horns and it doesn't get much more rock n Roll than that!
The Collectors Edition Scam
In my mind all the record executives got together in a meeting and said 'CD sales are stalling, how can we get the public to spend their money on Music CD's' and in my minds eye one git with a ponytail and a goatee stands up and says 'why can't we just resale them what they already have but stick an extra track on it' which is exactly what they have done.
The deluxe CD is a thing where the record companies take an existing album, stick a few extra songs on it or even lazily a live version of a song and stick it back in the shops for £15.99.
One of the worst artists for this is Meatloaf and his Bat out of Hell album which shows up every 3 or 4 years with a shiny 3D cover and a 'collectors edition' sticky label on it which no self-respecting Meatloaf fan would want to be seen without and can place alongside their other seven editions of the Bat Out Of Hell album they already own.
It does make me wonder just how low wattage some people are operating on that they will keep paying out for the same thing over and over again, there are only so many versions of 'Paradise by the dashboard light' you can own before something inside your brain clicks off.
Those of us whose brains have not be made squishy by repeated hearings of 'Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad' realise that a CD that you already own but with twinkly add-ons like live tracks and prettier packaging is just the same CD only with twinkly add-ons and prettier packaging and not worth shelling out another £15 for the same CD with an additional live track.
I just hope that when Meatloaf cashes those royalty cheque he thinks of all people clutching his CD (with the shiny 3D cover) and once they realise they have been duped again he collapses down at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun, torn and twisted at the foot of a burning' hell, think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell, and the last thing they see is their heart, still beating, breaking out
of their bodies and flying away.
Probably he just buys another sports car and a yacht but we can hope.
The deluxe CD is a thing where the record companies take an existing album, stick a few extra songs on it or even lazily a live version of a song and stick it back in the shops for £15.99.
One of the worst artists for this is Meatloaf and his Bat out of Hell album which shows up every 3 or 4 years with a shiny 3D cover and a 'collectors edition' sticky label on it which no self-respecting Meatloaf fan would want to be seen without and can place alongside their other seven editions of the Bat Out Of Hell album they already own.
It does make me wonder just how low wattage some people are operating on that they will keep paying out for the same thing over and over again, there are only so many versions of 'Paradise by the dashboard light' you can own before something inside your brain clicks off.
Those of us whose brains have not be made squishy by repeated hearings of 'Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad' realise that a CD that you already own but with twinkly add-ons like live tracks and prettier packaging is just the same CD only with twinkly add-ons and prettier packaging and not worth shelling out another £15 for the same CD with an additional live track.
I just hope that when Meatloaf cashes those royalty cheque he thinks of all people clutching his CD (with the shiny 3D cover) and once they realise they have been duped again he collapses down at the bottom of a pit in the blazing sun, torn and twisted at the foot of a burning' hell, think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell, and the last thing they see is their heart, still beating, breaking out
of their bodies and flying away.
Probably he just buys another sports car and a yacht but we can hope.
Wednesday, 5 September 2018
They Named The Band After What?
In the post The Band's Called What? i said it was probably not wise to delve too deeply into how 10cc and Lovin' Spoonful came by their names and left it there because i thought it was well known exactly what i was alluding to but obviously not so for all those wondering it is the approximate volume of man's stuff, 10 cubic centimetres or roughly a teaspoonful of liquid. Eeew indeed, hope they washed the spoon after they measured it but i guess looking back at some of the older artists, how they came by their names (literally in some cases) is lost to the fogs of time so lets see who we can shed some light on.
Steely Dan's name is taken from a steam powered vibrator, UB40 from the top of an unemployment benefit card, Joy Division is a row of prostitutes huts, Lynyrd Skynyrd is named after their PE Teacher, Pogues is Irish Gaelic for Kiss My Arse and The Velvet Underground is taken from a book of perverted sexual practises.
Circle Jerks and Limp Bizkit are names of a game that involves biscuits and what the lovin' spoonful measured as is Pearl Jam (think about it).
Whitesnake and Captain Beefheart are penis related and Scissor Sisters is taken from a lesbian sex act.
Yep, musicians are massive perverts but i would suggest that if any of the Lovin' spoonful invite you around for coffee then take your own cutlery.
Steely Dan's name is taken from a steam powered vibrator, UB40 from the top of an unemployment benefit card, Joy Division is a row of prostitutes huts, Lynyrd Skynyrd is named after their PE Teacher, Pogues is Irish Gaelic for Kiss My Arse and The Velvet Underground is taken from a book of perverted sexual practises.
Circle Jerks and Limp Bizkit are names of a game that involves biscuits and what the lovin' spoonful measured as is Pearl Jam (think about it).
Whitesnake and Captain Beefheart are penis related and Scissor Sisters is taken from a lesbian sex act.
Yep, musicians are massive perverts but i would suggest that if any of the Lovin' spoonful invite you around for coffee then take your own cutlery.
Not Everyone Thinks Trumps An Idiot
If Michael Wolff is to be believed, '100 percent of the people around Donald Trump don’t think he’s fit for office. They all say he is a moron, an idiot' but in the orange one's defence, they don't all think he's an idiot and a moron, some consider him deplorable and crazy also. Toting up the insults against Trump, most think he is an idiot including H.R. McMaster, the National Security Adviser and the National Economic Council director Gary Cohn and Chief of Staff John Kelly, Secretary of Treasury Steve Mnuchin and Chief of Staff Reince Preibus.
The Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, famously said Trump was a 'F****** moron' and that would be bad enough but the rest of the staff used other names for the President including Tom Barrack Jr who said he was 'stupid' but Gary Cohn went as far as to call him 'dumb as shit'.
The White House Principal Deputy Press Secretary Raj Shah called him 'deplorable' and John McCain said he was 'sad' and 'half-baked' and FBI Director James Comey went for 'Morally unfit to be president', 'unethical and untethered to truth'.
White House chief of staff John Kelly said the President was 'unhinged' and White House adviser Omarosa Manigault Newman went for 'a racist, misogynist and bigot', a view backed by Barbara Res, executive vice-president of Trump Organisation, who said he was a 'supreme sexist'.
Steve Bannon said he was like 'an 11-year-old child', White House deputy chief of staff Katie Walsh said working with Trump was like 'trying to figure out what a child wants' and Republican senator Bob Corker of Tennessee called the White House under Trump 'an adult day care center'
H R McMaster once again stuck the boot into his boss by saying he had the intelligence of a 'kindergartner' and Defence Secretary Jim Mattis said Trump had the understanding of 'a fifth- or sixth-grader'.
So take your pick if Donald Trump is an idiot, moron or any of the other insults thrown at him but as these are the people who worked and know him best, who are we to argue with them in their assessment.
Saturday, 1 September 2018
Was McCain Really A Hero?
I don't know much about John McCain apart from he introduced us to the comedy show that was Sarah Palin, he was shot down during the Vietnam War and he was beaten to the White House by Barack Obama.
There does seem to be a move afoot to make him into some great American war hero but surely there are better Americans who can be lionized.
He may have been shot down and tortured but he was fighting in the Vietnam war at the time, an ideological war that was hugely unpopular and he was shot down whilst dropping tonnes of bombs on civilians at the time.
Then there was his support for the Iraq War, another unjust and unpopular war, Obama called him the 'leading supporter of an invasion and occupation of Iraq' although my overriding memory of the man is a visit to Iraq in 2007 where he wanted to show the recent wave of terror attacks had subsided and Iraq was returning to normal thanks to the Iraq War he so vocally supported.
After the secret trip, photos emerged of him confidently strolling down the middle of a Baghdad Market and then at the press conference afterwards he claimed 'Things are getting better, there are encouraging signs' which was excellent news as long as the Iraqi's took the few minor precautions McCain undertook before his little jaunt.
All they needed to do to be as safe as McCain in their own nation whilst out shopping was to first send in soldiers to search for explosives, set up a perimeter and secure the neighbourhood, deploy snipers on rooftops, wear a flak jacket at all times, travel by a Humvee to the market and surround yourself with 100 armed soldiers while three Black Hawk helicopters and two Apache gunships patrol the skies above.
It really was that simple if the locals wanted to get back from the market-place in one piece.
I don't know what else he did, maybe he really was the hero he is being made out to be but the unwritten rule is that you don't speak ill of the dead but the other one is you don't make out somebody to be a hero when they were anything but just because they died.
There does seem to be a move afoot to make him into some great American war hero but surely there are better Americans who can be lionized.
He may have been shot down and tortured but he was fighting in the Vietnam war at the time, an ideological war that was hugely unpopular and he was shot down whilst dropping tonnes of bombs on civilians at the time.
Then there was his support for the Iraq War, another unjust and unpopular war, Obama called him the 'leading supporter of an invasion and occupation of Iraq' although my overriding memory of the man is a visit to Iraq in 2007 where he wanted to show the recent wave of terror attacks had subsided and Iraq was returning to normal thanks to the Iraq War he so vocally supported.
After the secret trip, photos emerged of him confidently strolling down the middle of a Baghdad Market and then at the press conference afterwards he claimed 'Things are getting better, there are encouraging signs' which was excellent news as long as the Iraqi's took the few minor precautions McCain undertook before his little jaunt.
All they needed to do to be as safe as McCain in their own nation whilst out shopping was to first send in soldiers to search for explosives, set up a perimeter and secure the neighbourhood, deploy snipers on rooftops, wear a flak jacket at all times, travel by a Humvee to the market and surround yourself with 100 armed soldiers while three Black Hawk helicopters and two Apache gunships patrol the skies above.
It really was that simple if the locals wanted to get back from the market-place in one piece.
I don't know what else he did, maybe he really was the hero he is being made out to be but the unwritten rule is that you don't speak ill of the dead but the other one is you don't make out somebody to be a hero when they were anything but just because they died.
America Backing The Israeli Oppressors
America can do what it likes with it's money and if it wants to stop donating $368m to the Palestinians then it is well within it's right to do so but what we should notice is that while it stops giving to Palestine, its donations to Israel continue.
The United States hands over $3.8 billion per year in aid to Israel which it uses to purchase the military hardware by which to continue repressing and occupying the Palestinians land as it has done for the past 70 years.
The recent act of killing came when 170 Palestinians were killed by Israeli snipers for protesting against the barrier wall Israel has built around Gaza, a death toll that included medical personnel helping the injured, farmers working in their fields and innocent bystanders including children.
As Donald Trump took the decision to move the US Embassy to Jerusalem and now to cut aid to the poorest people on the planet, it shows who the American President is backing in this recent move, and it's the brutal oppressors rather than the oppressed.
By backing the side who are illegally seizing and building settlements on Palestinian land, defying UN resolutions, killing Hamas politicians, holding over 9000 Palestinians in its prisons, destroying farms, abusing human rights, bulldozing homes and businesses and maintaining a monstrous wall deemed illegal by the international court of justice, peace seems even further away and just ensures that the cycle of violence will continue.
Rather than handing over $3.8 billion of American taxpayers money to Israel, America should stop bankrolling Israel as it couldn't maintain such a large military presence without US help, so it would have to make peace with its neighbour or go bankrupt.
The vast majority of the problems are due to Israel, a people who were once the brutally oppressed themselves, and America is giving willing financial and political assistance to it's brutal, violent and abhorrent treatment of the Palestinians.
The United States hands over $3.8 billion per year in aid to Israel which it uses to purchase the military hardware by which to continue repressing and occupying the Palestinians land as it has done for the past 70 years.
The recent act of killing came when 170 Palestinians were killed by Israeli snipers for protesting against the barrier wall Israel has built around Gaza, a death toll that included medical personnel helping the injured, farmers working in their fields and innocent bystanders including children.
As Donald Trump took the decision to move the US Embassy to Jerusalem and now to cut aid to the poorest people on the planet, it shows who the American President is backing in this recent move, and it's the brutal oppressors rather than the oppressed.
By backing the side who are illegally seizing and building settlements on Palestinian land, defying UN resolutions, killing Hamas politicians, holding over 9000 Palestinians in its prisons, destroying farms, abusing human rights, bulldozing homes and businesses and maintaining a monstrous wall deemed illegal by the international court of justice, peace seems even further away and just ensures that the cycle of violence will continue.
Rather than handing over $3.8 billion of American taxpayers money to Israel, America should stop bankrolling Israel as it couldn't maintain such a large military presence without US help, so it would have to make peace with its neighbour or go bankrupt.
The vast majority of the problems are due to Israel, a people who were once the brutally oppressed themselves, and America is giving willing financial and political assistance to it's brutal, violent and abhorrent treatment of the Palestinians.
What Hendrix Was Doing All Along The Watchtower
In the film 'Full Metal Jacket', there is a character called 'Hand Job' who is killed while waiting for his papers for a medical discharge due to 'jerking off ten times a day' and when he was sent to see the Navy head shrinker, 'he starts jerking off in the waiting room. Instant Section Eight. He was just waiting for his papers to clear division'.
What i didn't know was that the character was based on a real life person, Jimi Hendrix.
According to his own discharge papers, Hendrix displayed behaviour problems, required excessive supervision, has little regard for regulations and was apprehended masturbating in the platoon area while on duty.
To fans of feedback noise and 10 minute guitar solo's, Hendrix is arguably the greatest guitarist ever but he wouldn't be winning any awards for soldiering but then to be fair, he only enlisted in the Army to avoid going to prison for stealing cars.
To avoid any embarrassment, Hendrix's record company said that that his medical discharge was for a broken ankle following a parachute jump but now we know the real reason, i consider his recording of 'All Along The Watchtower' to be more of an explanation of what he was doing when he was apprehended in the platoon area that day.
What i didn't know was that the character was based on a real life person, Jimi Hendrix.
According to his own discharge papers, Hendrix displayed behaviour problems, required excessive supervision, has little regard for regulations and was apprehended masturbating in the platoon area while on duty.
To fans of feedback noise and 10 minute guitar solo's, Hendrix is arguably the greatest guitarist ever but he wouldn't be winning any awards for soldiering but then to be fair, he only enlisted in the Army to avoid going to prison for stealing cars.
To avoid any embarrassment, Hendrix's record company said that that his medical discharge was for a broken ankle following a parachute jump but now we know the real reason, i consider his recording of 'All Along The Watchtower' to be more of an explanation of what he was doing when he was apprehended in the platoon area that day.
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