Monday, 24 September 2018

Songs To Annoy The Neighbours

My friend had a problem with her downstairs neighbour who was a grumpy old woman with several cats who would bang on the ceiling at the slightest noise and after diplomacy came and went she went full Tony Blair and waged war on her with the contents of her CD collection.
The problem with the sonic warfare thing is that aside from annoying the victim at high volume, it can't be songs that are torture to your ears and as her CD Collection contains nothing heavier than The Best of The Carpenters, hearing 'Goodbye To Love' at 100dB isn't going to cut it.
Apparently what will really drill into the brain is anything with a heavy bass for maximum annoyance,  house or techno music for example but we should consult the real experts at massively annoying people, the US military.
Back in the days of Good Ol' Boy George W Bush the military at Guantanamo Bay would blast out songs to captives to induce shock and disorient so what was their top tips of annoying hits to play at full volume.
Take Your Best Shot - Dope, White America - Eminem, Kim - Eminem, Barney Theme Song - Barney the Dinosaur, Bodies - Drowning Pool, Enter Sandman - Metallica, Meow Mix TV Commercial - Meow Meow Meow and the Sesame Street TV Theme are their preferred tunes.
You can also be twisted and Clockwork Orange find a song the victim likes and play that continually at full volume but if it turns to be Barbie Girl then remember that you have to hear it also and after 5 hours of that i would be looking for a sturdy roof beam.
Of course laying your speakers on the floor and playing the Sesame Street Bass mix until 3am shouldn't be condoned but then if you have a copy of the Meow Mix TV Commercial then you are probably not in a very good mental place to start with.

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