Taxi For Boris

His proper name is Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson and his title is Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and Leader of the Conservative Party but you could call him Boris. Or Bojo. Or, preferably, nothing at all but you had better do it quick because while while some Politicians are natural leaders fully prepared to take on any challenge in the pursuit of improving the lot of their citizens, others are lucky to get their trousers on in the morning without serious injury and de Pfeffel Johnson is definitely one of the latter.
Even amongst his Eton buddies, he was always considered the joke one, the person you would trust to snort milk out of nose but you wouldn't necessarily trust with anything serious, a saying amongst them was 'If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, give it to Johnson' so quite how he ended up running the country is probably as much a mystery to him as the rest of us.  
Typically, his time as Britain's Leader where he said he wanted to be remembered as a modern Winston Churchill, is coming to an end in circumstances which would be hilarious if they were not so disastrous with scandals dogging him to the very end as the nation belatedly decide that the guy is a actually a massive bell-end.
You do have to give him credit for not being disrupted from making his blatant lies with things so frivolous as evidence as we are seeing with the Downing Street Lock-down Parties which he was still insisted never happened even while we were watching the video of his advisors discussing how they could spin it so it didn't look like a Party.
Then, to add another level of farce to the whole thing, the man he appointed to investigate to see if there had been a party afterall was removed from the invesitigation because his own office had held an illegal lock-down party.  
Then there is the insistence that he never knew who was paying for his £100k refurbishment of his Downing Street residence despite a Whatsapp message where he actually asked the guy to pay for it and this week he oversaw the loss of A Conservative Safe Seat, in their possession for almost 200 years, to the Liberal Democrats.
This is a man who as Foreign Secretary went to Iran to secure the release of Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe who had been sentenced to 1 year in prison for allegedly plotting against the Iranian government but once he had spoken to the Iranian, her sentence had been increased to 5 years and whilst Lord Mayor of London was described as "a fairly lazy tosser who just wants to be there while doing very little work'.
His response to the Coronavirus Pandemic has left Britain with one of the greatest global death tolls and we are currently staring at 100,000 new infections a day in the coming days which is where him being entertaining stops being quite so funny, it's hard to find humour in a situation which ends with that many funerals which is exactly where Alexander has taken us and that distant rumbling isn't thunder or the Underground, that's the many fire engines rushing to Blenheim Palace where Winston Churchill is buried because he was rolling so fast in his grave that the cemetery caught fire.