It's The Best Of Times, It's The Worst Of Times

As usual, when the Government makes a pigs ear of things and times get tough we look towards that long haired man tied to a cross for inspiration.
'Some things in life are bad' sang Eric Idle, 'They can really make you mad, Other things just make you swear and curse, When you're chewing on life's gristle,Don't grumble, Give a whistle, And this'll help things turn out for the best'.
Yes, we are being measured up for a large enough handcart to fit us all in for that trip to Beelzebub's place but there are some things you can do to cheer yourself up.
If you feel down about your shares dropping like a banker from the 7th floor of the Lloyd's building, clamp your mobile to your ear and have a bash at that hard Sudoku in the Times. Studies at the Bristol Oncology Center have found that people exposed to mobile-phone radiation were 4% faster at certain mental tasks than others.
Want to take your mind off the rising cost of a loaf? Don't do anything drastic like go to bed early, channel surf as you'll use up 20% more energy watching television than lying in bed. Find something with Piers Morgan on it and you will use up even more energy trying to throw the remote through the TV.
Hacked off because you can't sell anymore bodily organs to fill your car with Petrol? Slam your favourite CD into the CD player and turn the volume up to 10 because loud music activates a primitive acoustic sense in the ear which stimulates endorphins. Of course it will make you go deaf and annoy the neighbours but you will get that twinkle in your eye. I would avoid Justin Bieber Cd's though, the only thing twinkling will be your CD player as it bounces off the pavement below.
Hang on though Lucy i hear you say, i am on over £150,000 a year so i'm actually richer thanks to Liz and that other guy and sure a full blown recession means misery for most but for a few others it can be a great time.
Recession is good for property auctioneers with many of the properties sold at auctions having been repossessed from the financially-stretched by their mortgage company and with so many people watching their cars being carted away on the back of a repossession lorry and ending up at a car auction where they will be sold for a fraction of the price.
Shares in utilities companies, food retailers, chemists and tobacco companies always rise when the going gets tough. Obviously the company price of repossession firms will rise briskly with the all added business as well so it's not all bad as long as you find yourself on the right side of it and you can
block out the noisy lamenting of the newly homeless family on the way back from the bank.