What FGTH Never Told Us About Nuclear War

Frankie Goes to Hollywood told us that when two tribes go to war a point is all that you can score and helpfully includes the advice that when you hear the air attack warning you and your family must take cover but no matter how many times i listen to it i have not heard them say in the unlikely event of an apocalyptic nuclear explosion, make sure it's not a hair-wash day but then it could be because it s hard to make anything rhyme with conditioner.
With Putin threatening to plant a Russian Nuclear Missile in your garden sometime soon, luckily the American Government are picking up Holly Johnson's slack by offering the advice that in the event that the four minute warning is sounded, avoiding conditioning your hair.
It also says to seek shelter and avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth and once safely inside, remove any contaminated clothing and jump into a warm shower and wash your hair with Shampoo but UNDER IN CIRCUMSTANCES MUST YOU CONDITION YOUR HAIR!
The reason is that the Conditioner will cause radioactive material to stick to your hair which is excellent advice but to honest having tangle free, manageable hair will be way down my list of things to do if a Nuclear Missile is winging its way over behind screaming, crying, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and wetting every pair of knickers that i own.