Special Guest Blogger: Michelangelo

I was famous in my day for perfecting the human form, such as creating the masterpiece David out of a giant chunk of marble and the not-so-little painting called The Last Judgment, and one you might have seen where God’s outstretched finger is reaching for Adam's.
As a bambino, my father owned a marble quarry so I was always around stone but my father wanted me to work as a medic or Government official but i wanted to do something creative so I talked him into sending me to Florence to be with people like Leonardo da Vinci and Verrocchio on an apprenticeship.
I was thirteen then which is kinda late for an apprentice but not to blow my own trumpet, but i was absolutely brilliant from the start and as I was able to draw anatomical parts to perfection, I was quickly outperforming other famous painters of Florence and I was in demand from the Churches who needed the best artists as decorators although i did think of myself as more of a sculptor.
When Leonardo left Florence I was the rising star, the bees knees, the dogs bollocks and various other good parts of animals so when he returned to see me with many commissions he got a bit uppity and we even had a few words when we ran into each other on a bridge and Leonardo mocked me for my gruff manners and unrefined ways and I replied he should run away as he has a history of that as he never finished what he started.
I did have a bit of a reputation of being hot headed and hard to work with, i took on no pupils or collaborators and when i created The Pietà i wrote 'MICHELANGELO BUONARROTI FLORENTINE, MADE THIS' on Mary’s sash because I overheard someone say the work is done by Cristoforo Solari so that night I take a chisel and leave my mark.
David is probably the world’s most famous sculpture but all anyone asks me about is his winky being a bit on the small side. If you were naked and about to fight a giant called Goliath wouldn't the stress of that make you shrink up a bit?
After finishing David, I took on some huge projects but as it was only me I never got around to finishing most of them as many patrons become broke, or died, during the projects and when Pope Julius II asked me to carve 40 statues for his tomb I tried to open a new quarry at Pietrasanta but he then changed it to a bronze statue of him then he forget about that and said do something special at the Sistine Chapel so i spent four years on my back painting the ceiling an cleaning paint out of my beard.
I did do a lot of male nudes and wrote poems professing my desire for other men, heck, i even used male models to sculpt my female figures so make of that what you will but i never married and after leaving Florence I spent my remaining years in Rome, where i worked primarily as an architect and created the Capitoline Square and dome of St. Peter’s Basilica, though neither was finished at the time of my death which was very Leonardo of me.