In one of his series of lectures, Mark Steel tells of a 14th poll tax introduced by the monarchy of the day to pay for their ongoing wars with France.
The tax was levied on each person in England over the age of 14 but as the tax collectors didn't know how many people were in each household, a rule was passed so the tax collectors could decide if a person was over 14 by checking if they had pubic hair and to allay any fears, all checks carried out by the local Catholic priests.
Move on 650 years or so and it seems that the Priests are still doing it which is why the Catholic Church, and the Pope, finds itself under such attack today and rightly so.
Dismissed initially as petty gossip, a letter from Pope Benedict, then plain old Joseph Ratzinger and deputy at the Vatican doctrinal office, has emerged where he told Wisconsin Bishops to drop a Church trial for a priest with a record of molesting children to protect the reputation of the Church for which it would have grave significance if it become public.
Now Ratzinger has the top job and the pressure is on him to resign which of course he won't so i truly hope that the attempt by Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens to have the Pope arrested and put on trial for the covering-up of sexual abuse in the Catholic church when he lands here in September succeeds.
The Vatican has already suggested the pope is immune from prosecution because he is a head of state but the duo are arguing that because he is not the head of a state with full United Nations membership (the Vatican has only observer status), he does not hold immunity and can be arrested.
As a German and former Nazi youth of the Third Reich, he should be fully aware that as an officer of state he is responsible for all actions carried out by those under his authority.
It should make it an entertaining September this year.
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Monday, 12 April 2010
Saturday, 10 April 2010
Cause or solution?
Unless i am very much mistaken, the purpose of Capitalism is the use of wealth to create more wealth.
Of course this is most beneficial to the people who have wealth in the first place and a bit more of a struggle if you haven't got the proverbial pot to go in to start with.
The general idea is that the money will trickle down from the top and everyone will benefit, even those at the bottom.
Nice idea in theory but due to human nature which is basically selfish, it would be safe to say this hasn't really been happening and the trickle down has been at the minimum the wealth owners could get away with.
A classic example is the minimum wage here in the United Kingdom which was fought against tooth and nail by the bosses who refused to introduce it voluntarily until forced to by the incoming 1997 Labour Government.
The collapse of industry and wholesale closures that we had been warned would occur if a minimum wage was introduced didn't happen and now it is accepted that bosses can no longer offer insulting wages in the knowledge that they would still fill the vacancy.
What this shows is that we cannot trust businessmen to look out for the best interests of us and they need to be watched. The banks are finally being bought to book after years of treating their customers as cash cows with extortionate fees and the mis-selling of protection plans.
The bottom line is the same as my first line, the purpose is to use their wealth to create more wealth.
At some point there will be a crunch because as more of the money continues to go upwards, there will be less left to go downwards and we are already in a position where people are actually dying because they can't afford to heat their homes in winter and scandalously, we are not rioting in the streets about it, just seem to accept and see where we can trim back to accommodate the hike in our utilities.
Maybe Capitalism has run its course and although it lifted many out of poverty initially, it seems that it now is the cause of more problems than it solves as it chases bigger profits at the expense of those benefiting from Capitalism the least.
Of course this is most beneficial to the people who have wealth in the first place and a bit more of a struggle if you haven't got the proverbial pot to go in to start with.
The general idea is that the money will trickle down from the top and everyone will benefit, even those at the bottom.
Nice idea in theory but due to human nature which is basically selfish, it would be safe to say this hasn't really been happening and the trickle down has been at the minimum the wealth owners could get away with.
A classic example is the minimum wage here in the United Kingdom which was fought against tooth and nail by the bosses who refused to introduce it voluntarily until forced to by the incoming 1997 Labour Government.
The collapse of industry and wholesale closures that we had been warned would occur if a minimum wage was introduced didn't happen and now it is accepted that bosses can no longer offer insulting wages in the knowledge that they would still fill the vacancy.
What this shows is that we cannot trust businessmen to look out for the best interests of us and they need to be watched. The banks are finally being bought to book after years of treating their customers as cash cows with extortionate fees and the mis-selling of protection plans.
The bottom line is the same as my first line, the purpose is to use their wealth to create more wealth.
At some point there will be a crunch because as more of the money continues to go upwards, there will be less left to go downwards and we are already in a position where people are actually dying because they can't afford to heat their homes in winter and scandalously, we are not rioting in the streets about it, just seem to accept and see where we can trim back to accommodate the hike in our utilities.
Maybe Capitalism has run its course and although it lifted many out of poverty initially, it seems that it now is the cause of more problems than it solves as it chases bigger profits at the expense of those benefiting from Capitalism the least.
Friday, 9 April 2010
No going back to vinyl
There seems to be a constant lament from music lovers of my generation for the demise of the vinyl record hence the Record Store Day where Parlophone are releasing 7" versions of some of their biggest bands.
Maybe i am alone but i had built up quite a large stock of vinyl records throughout my youth and i don't think i had a single one that didn't jump, hiss or stick at some point and it would drive me crazy.
My friend showed me that by blu-tacking a 2p coin to the top of the stylus, you could avoid all but the most deepest of scratches but it always seemed that no matter how careful you were, you would somehow get a nick on the surface and have to lift the needle over that part of the song.
I was more than happy when vinyl was replaced by Compact Discs where the sound was much crisper and i could actually listen to Two Tribes without hearing Holly Johnson stutter about how a point is all that you can sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc...
I put this down to selective memory from those wallowing in nostalgia for vinyl records. In practise they were clumsy things you had to cradle lovingly in order to work properly and no teenage bedroom was complete without these black circles thrown haphazardly around the place beneath discarded jeans, trainers and cereal bowls.
Just like the computers with cassette tapes and those large clunky VHS video recorders, you may look back fondly at them but you wouldn't want to swap your laptop or your DVD player for them.
Let's leave vinyl back in the past and stop pretending it was in anyway superior to today's formats.
Maybe i am alone but i had built up quite a large stock of vinyl records throughout my youth and i don't think i had a single one that didn't jump, hiss or stick at some point and it would drive me crazy.
My friend showed me that by blu-tacking a 2p coin to the top of the stylus, you could avoid all but the most deepest of scratches but it always seemed that no matter how careful you were, you would somehow get a nick on the surface and have to lift the needle over that part of the song.
I was more than happy when vinyl was replaced by Compact Discs where the sound was much crisper and i could actually listen to Two Tribes without hearing Holly Johnson stutter about how a point is all that you can sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc-sc...
I put this down to selective memory from those wallowing in nostalgia for vinyl records. In practise they were clumsy things you had to cradle lovingly in order to work properly and no teenage bedroom was complete without these black circles thrown haphazardly around the place beneath discarded jeans, trainers and cereal bowls.
Just like the computers with cassette tapes and those large clunky VHS video recorders, you may look back fondly at them but you wouldn't want to swap your laptop or your DVD player for them.
Let's leave vinyl back in the past and stop pretending it was in anyway superior to today's formats.
Thursday, 8 April 2010
UK election decisions
The Queen has spoken and the UK election is finally underway sparking reams of items about how Labour is out on its ear or doing really well depending on which newspaper you read.
By nature i'm a Labour voter but since the Iraq War, i can't bring myself to vote for them until all remnants of that tainted cabinet have been expunged. It really irks me how they speak out afterwards but went along with it at the time. Good riddance i say.
David Cameron has sent everyone in my city a letter explaining just how great the Conservative candidate is and why we should vote for her but in the same postbag, a letter from the current Liberal Democrat candidate setting how just what he has done for the city during the last 5 years and why we should keep him. Labour are a distant third and the candidate doesn't even bother contesting it very hard.
It's all very confusing because i am of the opinion that they are all a bunch of shysters but i have to vote for one of them and politics is such a bad way that we are having to choose from which party has been the least corrupt and sleazy. The best of a bad lot where even the best is still rotten, but possibly not as rotten.
After the first term, Labour has been a disaster and Cameron strikes me as a Thatcher clone who will look after his rich pals before anyone else and the Liberal Democrats are just there to make up the numbers really.
What we need is a none of the above on our voting slips but the sad truth is one of them will be making the decisions for the next five years and i don't trust any of them to do it.
Democracy sucks when the only choices are between continuing to get shafted by one guy or to get shafted by the new guy.
By nature i'm a Labour voter but since the Iraq War, i can't bring myself to vote for them until all remnants of that tainted cabinet have been expunged. It really irks me how they speak out afterwards but went along with it at the time. Good riddance i say.
David Cameron has sent everyone in my city a letter explaining just how great the Conservative candidate is and why we should vote for her but in the same postbag, a letter from the current Liberal Democrat candidate setting how just what he has done for the city during the last 5 years and why we should keep him. Labour are a distant third and the candidate doesn't even bother contesting it very hard.
It's all very confusing because i am of the opinion that they are all a bunch of shysters but i have to vote for one of them and politics is such a bad way that we are having to choose from which party has been the least corrupt and sleazy. The best of a bad lot where even the best is still rotten, but possibly not as rotten.
After the first term, Labour has been a disaster and Cameron strikes me as a Thatcher clone who will look after his rich pals before anyone else and the Liberal Democrats are just there to make up the numbers really.
What we need is a none of the above on our voting slips but the sad truth is one of them will be making the decisions for the next five years and i don't trust any of them to do it.
Democracy sucks when the only choices are between continuing to get shafted by one guy or to get shafted by the new guy.
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
Who is the real enemy?
In the Metro newspaper today, on the same page are two stories. At the top of the page is the headline, Seven killed in Taliban attack on US consulate. Below that story the headline, Ten dead in NATO attack.
Seems that when it comes to killing civilians, we are just a bit better at it than the Taliban.
Of course, the argument goes that the Taliban deliberately target civilians while our killings are horrible mistakes although that theory flies out the window with the video being played on Sky News that shows Americans in an Apache helicopter opening fire on a group of innocent Iraqi civilians, killing 12.
I'm not sure how seeing this would make an Iraqi feel but i'm not an Iraqi and i get angry as i watch it i wish there was somebody there with a RPG to take out the damned helicopter and stop the madmen with their machine guns.
The problem has been from the very start of both Iraq and Afghanistan wars, the invaders (us and America) just don't seem to have any regard for the people we went there to protect, bring democracy or whatever the reasons we were told we went there for.
We bomb from so far up, or away in the case of the drones, that it is inevitable we will kill many civilians and we have read countless reports on us killing civilians at wedding parties or firing upon houses because we assume some Taliban leader is holed up there only to later find he had nicked off earlier and the only people we killed were innocent bystanders.
I don't know the numbers but i would guess that we have killed just as many civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan as Al Qeauda and the Taliban in there respective countries since the whole mess began.
This is why both these tragic and misguided wars are unwinnable, because how can you get people to support you when you keep killing them?
Not only should we not be there, we are doing even more damage by sticking around.
Seems that when it comes to killing civilians, we are just a bit better at it than the Taliban.
Of course, the argument goes that the Taliban deliberately target civilians while our killings are horrible mistakes although that theory flies out the window with the video being played on Sky News that shows Americans in an Apache helicopter opening fire on a group of innocent Iraqi civilians, killing 12.
I'm not sure how seeing this would make an Iraqi feel but i'm not an Iraqi and i get angry as i watch it i wish there was somebody there with a RPG to take out the damned helicopter and stop the madmen with their machine guns.
The problem has been from the very start of both Iraq and Afghanistan wars, the invaders (us and America) just don't seem to have any regard for the people we went there to protect, bring democracy or whatever the reasons we were told we went there for.
We bomb from so far up, or away in the case of the drones, that it is inevitable we will kill many civilians and we have read countless reports on us killing civilians at wedding parties or firing upon houses because we assume some Taliban leader is holed up there only to later find he had nicked off earlier and the only people we killed were innocent bystanders.
I don't know the numbers but i would guess that we have killed just as many civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan as Al Qeauda and the Taliban in there respective countries since the whole mess began.
This is why both these tragic and misguided wars are unwinnable, because how can you get people to support you when you keep killing them?
Not only should we not be there, we are doing even more damage by sticking around.
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Lance Corporal Beharry
Well done a big pat on the back to the figure of restraint that is Lance Corporal Beharry who has been telling of how he wanted to 'knock out' the Prime Minister for not showing enough respect for the armed forces.
It seems that the Prime Minister had the temerity to fidget during a two minute silence which so raised the ire of the obviously in control former soldier that he felt compelled to reach for the physical violence option.
What this intelligent and highly articulated response shows is that people like Lance Corporal Beharry are the last people we should be handing powerful weapons to and letting loose among other nations.
If he can't keep it together because somebody dared to fidget, then i'm sure he would be an amazing asset with such a cool head during a conflict.
The Sun newspaper, with it's tales of how Gordon Brown has broken Britain and it's scouring of the land for bad news to highlight, has now given it's front page to a violent thug who just happens to be a Lance Corporal.
If this came from any other profession, the Sun would be holding them up as an example of chav culture or violent Britain but then Rupert Murdoch must be getting a little worried because he threw his lot in with the Conservatives just as it's popularity plummeted.
It can't rag him over Iraq because the newspaper backed him, or rather Blair, at the time so it is having to get other people to fight their battles such as the very articulate Lance Corporal Beharry who has either been misquoted, has been wearing his helmet too tight or is presently handing out Chinese burns to anyone who doesn't move quick enough in the queue in Tesco.
It seems that the Prime Minister had the temerity to fidget during a two minute silence which so raised the ire of the obviously in control former soldier that he felt compelled to reach for the physical violence option.
What this intelligent and highly articulated response shows is that people like Lance Corporal Beharry are the last people we should be handing powerful weapons to and letting loose among other nations.
If he can't keep it together because somebody dared to fidget, then i'm sure he would be an amazing asset with such a cool head during a conflict.
The Sun newspaper, with it's tales of how Gordon Brown has broken Britain and it's scouring of the land for bad news to highlight, has now given it's front page to a violent thug who just happens to be a Lance Corporal.
If this came from any other profession, the Sun would be holding them up as an example of chav culture or violent Britain but then Rupert Murdoch must be getting a little worried because he threw his lot in with the Conservatives just as it's popularity plummeted.
It can't rag him over Iraq because the newspaper backed him, or rather Blair, at the time so it is having to get other people to fight their battles such as the very articulate Lance Corporal Beharry who has either been misquoted, has been wearing his helmet too tight or is presently handing out Chinese burns to anyone who doesn't move quick enough in the queue in Tesco.
Monday, 5 April 2010
Easter
Easter is always a strange sort of holiday. At Christmas we have carols, turkey, trees with presents under them and a whole host of traditions but Easter is just a bunny and chocolate eggs.
I imagine the religious sorts pop along to the Church and do their thing with a candle and a bit of incense but for the rest of us it's a bit of a non-event.
Not that i'm complaining about the four day weekend for religious reasons (i'm not religious but i'd happily play the hypocrite and mumble a few hallelujahs if it meant a long weekend) nor am i moaning about all the chocolate filling the lower shelf of my refrigerator.
My only complaint would be that Jesus couldn't have laid low for a few more days after he was crucified, dragged it out for a week possibly so we got even more time off work but i'm nit-picking.
I don't even mind all the shops being closed because of someone else's beliefs, i had a long walk this morning to a garage to buy the newspaper and walk off the Cadbury Easter Egg i had for breakfast.
The television is rubbish as usual with The Sound of Music happily ignored and any films with the words Jesus or Christ in the title skilfully avoided because we all know how those films end up. The Romans put him up on a cross and he died and came back a couple of days later and 2010 years on we all eat chocolate eggs and bemoan the fact that he didn't keep his head down to at least the following Wednesday.
I imagine the religious sorts pop along to the Church and do their thing with a candle and a bit of incense but for the rest of us it's a bit of a non-event.
Not that i'm complaining about the four day weekend for religious reasons (i'm not religious but i'd happily play the hypocrite and mumble a few hallelujahs if it meant a long weekend) nor am i moaning about all the chocolate filling the lower shelf of my refrigerator.
My only complaint would be that Jesus couldn't have laid low for a few more days after he was crucified, dragged it out for a week possibly so we got even more time off work but i'm nit-picking.
I don't even mind all the shops being closed because of someone else's beliefs, i had a long walk this morning to a garage to buy the newspaper and walk off the Cadbury Easter Egg i had for breakfast.
The television is rubbish as usual with The Sound of Music happily ignored and any films with the words Jesus or Christ in the title skilfully avoided because we all know how those films end up. The Romans put him up on a cross and he died and came back a couple of days later and 2010 years on we all eat chocolate eggs and bemoan the fact that he didn't keep his head down to at least the following Wednesday.
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Are there any other famous Germans?
This summer, i will make myself available to welcome Pope Benedict XVI to our shores as long as there is no grass to watch growing or some paint to watch dry but for the rosary clutching portion of this island, they seem very excited about it.
I was extremely nonchalant about the whole thing until news leaked out that it is costing us £20 million.
How much? We could have got a full blown Nazi for that and not just a Nazi youth!!
Catholics have had a hard time recently what with the child sex abuse cover up and relying on the rhythm method as a form of contraception so far be it from me to deny them the chance to wave at an old man driving past in a silly car but i have to ask, isn't there a better German we could be waving at for our money?
For a country that gave us the petrol powered car (Karl Benz), decent jeans (Levi Strauss) and the MP3 (Karlheinz Brandenburg), there are slim picking in the depleted field of decent Germans around now.
I was a big fan of tennis players Steffi Graf and Boris Becker back in the day and i could be persuaded to grin like an idiot at Claudia Schiffer but there is one German who i didn't even know was German, who i would happily replace the head of the Catholic Church with in the Pope mobile.
I had always assumed Sandra Bullock was an American until she won her Oscar and it came out that her husband was following the Tiger Woods example of how to have a successful marriage. Then during some show about her life, it drifted out that she was from Nuremberg and lived there until she was 12.
So i put forward a movement that rather than cheering at a bloke who oversaw and buried news of the largest paedophile rings in history and not to mention a position that is directly responsible for the continued spread of AIDS, we shove £20 million at Sandra Bullock and drive her around the City of London instead.
If she is busy has someone got Kraftwerks number? They would do it for a tenner.
I was extremely nonchalant about the whole thing until news leaked out that it is costing us £20 million.
How much? We could have got a full blown Nazi for that and not just a Nazi youth!!
Catholics have had a hard time recently what with the child sex abuse cover up and relying on the rhythm method as a form of contraception so far be it from me to deny them the chance to wave at an old man driving past in a silly car but i have to ask, isn't there a better German we could be waving at for our money?
For a country that gave us the petrol powered car (Karl Benz), decent jeans (Levi Strauss) and the MP3 (Karlheinz Brandenburg), there are slim picking in the depleted field of decent Germans around now.
I was a big fan of tennis players Steffi Graf and Boris Becker back in the day and i could be persuaded to grin like an idiot at Claudia Schiffer but there is one German who i didn't even know was German, who i would happily replace the head of the Catholic Church with in the Pope mobile.
I had always assumed Sandra Bullock was an American until she won her Oscar and it came out that her husband was following the Tiger Woods example of how to have a successful marriage. Then during some show about her life, it drifted out that she was from Nuremberg and lived there until she was 12.
So i put forward a movement that rather than cheering at a bloke who oversaw and buried news of the largest paedophile rings in history and not to mention a position that is directly responsible for the continued spread of AIDS, we shove £20 million at Sandra Bullock and drive her around the City of London instead.
If she is busy has someone got Kraftwerks number? They would do it for a tenner.
Friday, 2 April 2010
Say goodbye to Hollywood Madrid
It seems that Hollywood is threatening to boycott Spain due to its terrible record of illegal downloading.
"People are downloading movies in such large quantities that Spain is on the brink of no longer being a viable home entertainment market for us" said the chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment.
Obviously this won't be a problem in Spain because they are all downloading them for free anyway but before other countries give a whoop and crack open the bit-torrent client, can i at least get to see a film that promises to be a great first. You can fill your boots then.
In the early eighties when all the cool kids were watching Evil Dead and Raiders of the Lost Ark, i was sat with the other spotty, wheezy kids watching Clash of the Titans. The chatter in class was all about how the Nazi guys face melted and everyone ignored my talk of Medusa with the snake hair or the scary Kraken monster.
Hollywood does seem to have fallen into a habit of rehashing old films or just churning out sequels but once in a while it does put out a decent film for those of us who don't much care for a cartoony, moody and ugly monster falling in love although i'm sure Keanu Reeves is a lovely guy off-screen.
Like 300, i am expecting a rip-roaring epic with cutting edge animation and graphics but i am afraid what we will get for our £10 Vue ticket is a weak imitation of a classic film.
Me and my fellow geeks will rise up, and actually not do much because we are still wheezy and a bit nerdy, but we won't be happy.
Alternatively, i can nip over to Spain and watch it for nothing.
"People are downloading movies in such large quantities that Spain is on the brink of no longer being a viable home entertainment market for us" said the chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment.
Obviously this won't be a problem in Spain because they are all downloading them for free anyway but before other countries give a whoop and crack open the bit-torrent client, can i at least get to see a film that promises to be a great first. You can fill your boots then.
In the early eighties when all the cool kids were watching Evil Dead and Raiders of the Lost Ark, i was sat with the other spotty, wheezy kids watching Clash of the Titans. The chatter in class was all about how the Nazi guys face melted and everyone ignored my talk of Medusa with the snake hair or the scary Kraken monster.
Hollywood does seem to have fallen into a habit of rehashing old films or just churning out sequels but once in a while it does put out a decent film for those of us who don't much care for a cartoony, moody and ugly monster falling in love although i'm sure Keanu Reeves is a lovely guy off-screen.
Like 300, i am expecting a rip-roaring epic with cutting edge animation and graphics but i am afraid what we will get for our £10 Vue ticket is a weak imitation of a classic film.
Me and my fellow geeks will rise up, and actually not do much because we are still wheezy and a bit nerdy, but we won't be happy.
Alternatively, i can nip over to Spain and watch it for nothing.
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Memo to self: Think of title
Actually my name isn't Hanz at all despite what it says on the left so that's a lie straight off the bat but it makes me sound exotic like a German or a Dane or something rather than a common or garden Englishman so i'm going to go with it.Having genitals of the dangly variety, i am prone to wildly swinging moods which will be evident here as i go from how lovely daffodils are to oh my God, we are all doomed and back again in the space of the same post as well as forgetting what i am talking about and ending up talking about the complete opposite to what i started on.
It does seem that the majority of bloggers are American which is unfortunate because now that the Commons Foreign Affairs committee has called an end to the special relationship us British and Americans once had, i guess i will have to do the ex- thing to you.
Firstly it's your fault, secondly we always preferred Canada and thirdly France has been flirting with us lately and they have that cute accent so there.
We want our things back and don't come creeping around again next time you elect a President that starts wars he cannot finish.
That's it, all over. At least until we get drunk and send you an embarrassing text saying that we do love you and our lives are empty without your big, throbbing F-14's landing on our eager runway.
Anyway, i'm Hanz. Or rather i'm not and i will be your host.
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