Thursday, 1 April 2010

Memo to self: Think of title

Actually my name isn't Hanz at all despite what it says on the left so that's a lie straight off the bat but it makes me sound exotic like a German or a Dane or something rather than a common or garden Englishman so i'm going to go with it.
Having genitals of the dangly variety, i am prone to wildly swinging moods which will be evident here as i go from how lovely daffodils are to oh my God, we are all doomed and back again in the space of the same post as well as forgetting what i am talking about and ending up talking about the complete opposite to what i started on.
It does seem that the majority of bloggers are American which is unfortunate because now that the Commons Foreign Affairs committee has called an end to the special relationship us British and Americans once had, i guess i will have to do the ex- thing to you.
Firstly it's your fault, secondly we always preferred Canada and thirdly France has been flirting with us lately and they have that cute accent so there.
We want our things back and don't come creeping around again next time you elect a President that starts wars he cannot finish.
That's it, all over. At least until we get drunk and send you an embarrassing text saying that we do love you and our lives are empty without your big, throbbing F-14's landing on our eager runway.
Anyway, i'm Hanz. Or rather i'm not and i will be your host.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for doing this Hanz. I like having a connection Euro viewpoints.

Tell Lucy high for me.

Q

Anonymous said...

Hanz or whatever... since your name isn't real does it matter what I call you Hank?

What's up with all the liars hiding behind a pen name anyway?

First we had Daniel aka David G. Now you.

I'm in Texas for cripes sake - how am I supposed to shoot you from 4,000 miles? Plus, with gun laws and all I can't get close enough to shoot you. It doesn't sit well with me that you hide your name...

As far as dumping America goes, I don't take it personally at all. We always have and always will look out for our own best interest. When that lines up with the interests of the UK (is this a false name too?) so be it. We'll use it.

We don't mind you blaming us. We get blamed for everything else that people don't like so what does it matter.

As far as liking Canada better than the USA - of course you do, they didn't kick your ass...

As far as licking, I mean liking the French better than the USA - well, be sure to wash your hands and use protection as often as possible and you should be ok...

Oh, and we could finish the wars, but imagine the whining we'd have to hear if we prosecuted the GWOT the way the allies prosecuted WW2...

Q

wagelaborer said...

You broke up with us? Why did no one tell me?

What's the Common Affairs Committee?

Why would you let a common affair interfere with the love we once shared?

Cheezy said...

That's a strong start, Hanz! Pretty soon we might have to start calling you 'SuperHanz'! (obscure Peep Show reference)...

And yeah, if you're reading, thanks for the memories, Lucy. You held out much longer than most of us!... (No doubt you're Tweeting now though, right?)

enigma4ever said...

this is enigma4ever of Watergate Summer..
you came by to say hi..
so I came to see your blog too...

hmmm...so it is not Hanz...
but what ever it is -
it was nice meeting you....

Cody Bones said...

"Having genitals of the dangly variety, i am prone to wildly swinging moods which will be evident here as i go from how lovely daffodils are to oh my God, we are all doomed and back again in the space of the same post as well as forgetting what i am talking about and ending up talking about the complete opposite to what i started on."

Hmm. that sounds like more of the female persuasion to me and my indoctrinated American worldview, but since I haven't been to London since 1990, I will reserve judgment.

"That's it, all over. At least until we get drunk and send you an embarrassing text saying that we do love you and our lives are empty"

Please, you'll be back after the first 2:00 am booty call. I guarantee it.

"Firstly it's your fault, secondly we always preferred Canada"

To tell the truth, we prefer Canada as well. Better beer, fishing, and Hockey, as well as cultural gems like the Windsor Ballet. All good from where I stand.

Welcome to the sit Hanzie, and please give Lucy my best. Cheezy, a gentleman's wager on how long it takes our Australian friend to come sneaking around?

Hanz said...

If my big book of Paul Simon lyrics is correct Q, you can call me Al and i will call you Betty. Call me what you want but i prefer Hanz because the Z at the end looks cool.

The Common Affairs Committee is a group of old men who sit around telling us who we can have affairs with. I don't know if they ever got my letter requesting my affair with Courtney Cox.

Nice meeting you enigma and i have you on my shiny new list of places to visit.

Sorry Cheezy, i think i peaked too soon.

Thinking having genitals of the dangly variety sounding like more of the female persuasion to you Cody is just one of the reasons our country broke up with you! We can still be friends though, just no benefits.

Cody Bones said...

Sorry Hanzie, I was referring to the mood swings, not the old twig and two berries

The Intolerant One said...

Hi Hanz,

First I will say welcome!

Like Lucy I have not blogged for quite some time. I actually stopped by just to say hello and let her know I was still around. If you have any connections with her please pass on my regards and have her drop me a line at my site.

I will be sure to stop in from time to time as I would really like to get my blog a rolling again. Cheers from Canada.

TIO

Hanz said...

Hi TIO. I will get around to looking around the Bloglist down the side. I have just started blogging again after around a year out so it's all new here as well.