Iceland Erupting

There has been a long list of people who, while during difficult times, have burnt down there premises in order to claim on the insurance and clear themselves of debt.
Is it merely a coincidence that bankrupt Iceland now finds itself a burning mass of smoke and ash?
The biggest complication due to Iceland burning down is that the ash is being blown directly over Britain and most of western Europe forcing our planes to sit idly on the tarmac which is probably a good thing for air quality if it wasn't for the mass of volcanic outpouring filling the atmosphere instead.
Another drawback is that as no flights can get out or in, we are finding Brits stuck abroad and lots of other nationalities knocking about here moaning they can't get home.
The ferries are fully booked and the Eurotunnel is at capacity so unless you can get to mainland Europe and make your way to Spain or Southern France where the planes are still going, you are stuck here with us on this green and pleasant land for at least another couple of days.
It should be no problem for Americans because our television is pretty much full of American shows anyway and stranded Canadians can feel at home in any of the local zoo's which all have a seal enclosure. Please resist the urge to club them almost to death and skin them.
Any homesick Australians can just wander into any of our public houses and get as drunk as they would at home and Israelis can go along to White Hart Lane which has a large Jewish community and on most Saturdays you can also get to see a very shaky defensive wall just like you have back home.
Enjoy your time here and remember that the bit at the top and to the east are not England.