Sunday, 5 June 2016

Countdown To Euros 2016

It's less than a week to go until the French and Romanians kick off Euros 2016 which is great for anyone who likes to watch football matches at 2pm, 5pm and another one at 8pm for three weeks but not so good if you are one of those who hate the game and moan that they have moved Eastenders in the scheduling again. 
So if you do avoid the television for the summer you will be missing more than just football matches, the Euro's always throw up something to make you wonder at the intelligence of the people running these things.   
First up is the message that this tournament wants to push, 'Respect Your Health'. A sensible and worthy message you may think although it loses something when you see it flanked by the official sponsors, McDonald’s, Carlsberg and Coca-Cola.
The official Euro 2016 app contains all the information on teams and players for all 23 teams, there should be 24 but they forgot to include Wales.
Then there is the guaranteed French meltdown which has started early this year, with Karim Benzema dropped after blackmailing a team-mate over a sex tape although he said he was dropped because the manager, Didier Deschamps, is a racist.
Deschamps is already suing Eric Cantona for making the same 'he's a racist' claim while French fans booed Olivier Giroud in their last warm-up friendly for taking the place of Benzema in the team.
If that doesn't whet the appetite then there are the 95 rule changes which have now come into effect and include changes such as booking players who try to impede a throw-in, no more automatic red cards for denying a goalscoring opportunity and players wearing tights have to wear tights the same colour as their team‑mates’ tights. In June?
Finally, no football tournament will be complete without someone dressed in a mascots uniform prancing about and this tournament we have Super Victor!
On offer from Uefa’s official online outlet: a Super Victor doll (£29.50), a Super Victor key ring (£5), a Super Victor paper banner (£4), a Super Victor pencil case (£7.99), a Super Victor backpack set (£18.99), and a Super Victor mug (£5.99) amidst other Super Victor products.
So sit back, sup from your Super Victor mug and respect your health with cans of strong lager and a Big Mac Quarter Pounder with Cheese and watch the French team refuse to pass to each other and count how many players are sent back to the changing room to change their tights.
Should be fun, unless your Scottish because you didn't make it or Welsh in which case your names not on the app and you're not coming in.

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