The Cubs song 'New York' has a great line about how 'everything is beautiful when you're young and pretty' which is true because as you get older you turn more right wing, get pessimistic and stingy and see only the nasty side of things which begs the question, just how old is Donald Trump?
I have been thinking of the strange haired orange one lately and the general consensus is that he would be an absolute disaster if he gets his tiny, little hands on the White House door key in November but then i realised that hang on a second, the alternative is Hillary Clinton.
Trump may be full of bluster about building walls to keep out Mexicans and be a general all round douchenugget and ugly enough to make an onion cry but apart from Islamic State, he hasn't so far threatened anybody outside of Americas borders so if he is as much a disaster he promises to be, it will largely only affect Americans.
Hillary on the other hand has a record that sees her supporting the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya while destabalising the Ukraine and Syria, supports expanding NATO and acts as an unashamed apologist for Israels aggression and has been promoting the continuation of prodding Russia and China.
If Trump messes up America then it will be a case of whatever, my largest concern will remain if Greggs still has any of my lunchtime Egg Mayo Sub's left when i get there but if it is Hillary then she could very well drag us all back into the George W Bush years and the sight of Union Flag draped coffins arriving off the back of a plane at Brize Norton and those terrible grainy pictures of missiles landing on Muslim peoples houses.
After much consideration i am going with the idea that as Clinton poses more danger to me 4,000 miles away in England than Trump who will bankrupt his own country and foul his own doorstep, the peace loving pretty left over here should be hoping that the man with a face so orange an Oompah Lumpah would laugh emerges from the skirmish victorious over there.
Of course him winning would suck for American women, Hispanics, Muslims, blacks and war veterans who have all been insulted by him recently but if him winning means America leaves the rest of the World alone, they can consider it taking one for the team and in return we wont make fun of the way you guys say 'aluminum' or 'route' for the duration.