Thank you for contacting Post EU Great Britain. In order to continue providing you with the best possible service, we shall now present you with a range of options. Please select the option you require so that we may ensure we provide what you need with the minimum of delay. Please wait until you have heard all the options before making your choice.
If you wish to apply for the job as Prime Minister press '1'.
If you are Scottish or Northern Irish and you want to discuss leaving GB, press '2'.
If you are French and you want to rub our noses in you leapfrogging GB in the World Economy League, press '3'.
If you currently work for a UK Drug Firm and need directions to your nearest job centre, press ‘4’.
If you voted Brexit and you wish to apologise to the nation, Press '5'
For all other enquiries, press '6'.
If you wish to hear these options again, press '7'.
Thank you for selecting 'you voted Brexit and you wish to apologise to the nation'.
If you wish to be shouted at angrily by youths whose future you have destroyed, press 1'.
If you wish to be shouted at by soon to be unemployed persons, press '2'.
If you would like to shouted at by Police Officers whose job it is to stop terrorism, press '3.
If you would like to be told in a condescending manner how many ways you have ruined it for the rest of us, press '4'.
For all other options, press '5'.
Thank you for selecting 'be told in a condescending manner how many ways you have ruined it for the rest of us'
Unfortunately we are experiencing high demand on this line so please hold until 2020 when we can have another General Election and can try and put things right again or call back later.
Thank you for calling Post EU Great Britain, soon to be renamed 'Not Quite So Great Britain'.