What with the French Tennis Open, the Tour De France and the Euro's going on there are plenty of sweaty Frenchmen around which is not a bad thing, there are worse nations with sweaty men who need to be swabbed down with a loofah, Greek's and Hungarians for example, but there are not many ladies who would kick a perspiring Frenchman out of their bathroom especially if they look like Emmanuel Petit who is a welcome addition to the ITV EURO 2016 team.
Anyone would assume from that far too long and rather fruity opening sentence that once England get knocked out of the EURO's (which they will) i will be changing allegiance to Les Bleus but there are other countries i will pretend to have a long forgotten connection to first.
Even before Wayne Rooney and Jack Wilshire are on the plane back home i will be donning a metaphorical Sweden flag and googling the words to their national anthem.
If they have already gone then that long lost Welsh Great Grandfather will be bought into play, followed by sacré bleu, where iz mine beret fellow Frenchie and then whatever passes for the Italian team nowadays.
As a last resort i will plump for the Germans as they have a handful of Arsenal players but let's hope it never comes to that and England learn how to defend because i am a proud Englander, then Welsh, then Swedish, then French, then..etc etc.