Special Guest Blogger: Greek Goddess Aphrodite

Coming into existence from the foam of your fathers discarded penis could really screw up a young girl but i did manage to snag a Greek God as a husband, shame it was Hephaestus who didn't get hit with the ugly stick, he got hit by the whole damned tree.
As the goddess of beauty, passion and love, i was so gorgeous that there was a six month waiting list for birds to suddenly appear every time i was near so obviously having a husband who whenever he looked in a shiny surface, his reflection would look back and shake it's head wasn't ideal but there was no lack of hunky Gods ready to lend a hand and other more intimate body parts to me, Dionysus, Hermes, Poseidon, Zeus but especially Ares who would visit while hubby was toiling away in his workshop.
Everything was going well until Helios saw us and told Hephaestus who trapped us together in a net and dragged us to the God's on Olympus who demanded we never see each other again although considering that we had seven children together, that didn't happen although i did spread the love around including with mortals.
One of my children was Priapus who the Queen of the God's, Hera, cursed as she was jealous of my superior beauty. Her curse was for him to be born hideously ugly and with an oversized penis. Basically, what any man would accept and the sight of Priapus offended the small-dicked Greek God's who cast him out of Mount Olympus and lived on Earth and became adopted by the Roman's who had small statues built of him in their gardens which became the Gnome's still in existence in modern gardens today.
As for me, i created Pandora, yes that one, who released evil into the world but as the goddess of all things love, i did have a mean streak such as cursing all the women on the island of Lemnos to stink after they refused to sacrifice to me.
It started off well, all the men refused to procreate with them and started having sex with their female slaves but then the women murdered the entire male population of the island and well...my bad.
Just as my son was taken on by the Roman's, so was i and after a name change to Venus, i was also immortalized in stone in the Venus de Milo although for some reason i don't appear to have any arms which were broken off at some point but as i am considered the ultimate vision of beauty and i'm topless so i think most men wouldn't notice if my arms were missing, 7 foot long or bright purple with polka-dots.