Friday 2 June 2023

Today Is...The First Crusade

The First Crusade in 1098 was a military expedition launched by the Catholic Church who wanted to show the Muslim Seljuk Turks that there was only room for one religion of peace and love and they were going to kill as many of them as possible them to show it was Christianity.
All the main players in Europe, promised money, land and titles by the Pope if they were successful, got their armies together and 80,000 of them stomped off to Anticoch passing through Germany where they indulged in a bit of massacre practise by killing 2,000 Jews in the Rhineland.
Hacking and slashing their way around the Mediterranean, they finally arrived at Antioch and showed how loving the Christian God was by ransacking it and massacring the citizens before arriving at Jerusalem and sent the Muslim hordes running away with their tails between their legs, those that still had legs anyway, and claimed the Holy land for Christianity.
Obviously that didn't last very long because the Muslim Forces took it back and there were a further seven Crusades and it all ended in a 4-4 draw with Jerusalem swapping hands continually over the next few hundred years and ending up in Muslim hands as the Christians decided that Pagan countries were easier and less painful to invade and concentrated on them instead.
Experts say the Crusades cost the lives of 1.7 million people but thankfully the Middle East is now a hotbed of democracy and peace and Western nations no longer turn up with large armies in the Middle East and shoot big holes in the natives, not since 2020 anyway, now we just sell the weapons to them to do it themselves.

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