Rumours abound that the Republicans got the wrong Palin and Michael would have been the better choice which leads us nicely to plagiarising the famous Pet Shop Sketch and how things might go if we blur the two Palins together.
Sara Palin enters the Republican Headquarters:
Palin: Hello, I wish to register a complaint.
Republican Party Work: We're closing for lunch.
Palin: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this John McCain what I purchased not four days ago from this very boutique.
RPW: Oh yes, the Arizona Blue...What's wrong with it?
P: He's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
RPW: No, no, he's resting.
P: Look, matey, I know a dead Republican candidate when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
RPW: No he's not dead, he's resting! Remarkable politician, the Arizona Blue.
P:All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up!
(Takes the McCain and thumps head on the counter. Throws him up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
P: Now that's what I call a dead politician.
RPW: No, no... No, he's stunned!
RPW:Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was waking up! Republicans stun easily.
P: I've had enough of this. That Republican is definitely deceased, and when I joined this campaign not four days ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement in the polls was due to it being' shagged out following a prolonged campaign tour.
RPW: Well, he's probably pining for the 1970's.
P: PININ' for the 1970's? What kind of talk is that? Why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got him home?
RPW: The Republican candidate prefers kipping' on it's back!
P: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Republican when I got him home, and I discovered the only reason that he had been standing at the podium in the first place was that he had been nailed there.
RPW:Well, o'course he was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that man down, he would have nuzzled up to those Democrats and VOOM!
P: "VOOM"? This McCain wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! He's passed on! This Republican candidate is no more! He has ceased to be! Expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! This is an ex-Candidate !
RPW: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
RPW: Sorry ma'am, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of antique right wing politicians.
P : I see. I get the picture.
RPW: I got a Rudy Giuliani.
P: Has it got a prayer of being elected?
RPW: Not really.
(Fade to song about wanting to be an Alaskan Trooper)