Thursday, 4 September 2008

Michael Palin For VP

Rumours abound that the Republicans got the wrong Palin and Michael would have been the better choice which leads us nicely to plagiarising the famous Pet Shop Sketch and how things might go if we blur the two Palins together.

Sara Palin enters the Republican Headquarters:

Palin: Hello, I wish to register a complaint.
Republican Party Work: We're closing for lunch.
Palin: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this John McCain what I purchased not four days ago from this very boutique.
RPW: Oh yes, the Arizona Blue...What's wrong with it?
P: He's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
RPW: No, no, he's resting.
P: Look, matey, I know a dead Republican candidate when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
RPW: No he's not dead, he's resting! Remarkable politician, the Arizona Blue.
P:All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up!
(Takes the McCain and thumps head on the counter. Throws him up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
P: Now that's what I call a dead politician.
RPW: No, no... No, he's stunned!
P:STUNNED?!?
RPW:Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was waking up! Republicans stun easily.
P: I've had enough of this. That Republican is definitely deceased, and when I joined this campaign not four days ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement in the polls was due to it being' shagged out following a prolonged campaign tour.
RPW: Well, he's probably pining for the 1970's.
P: PININ' for the 1970's? What kind of talk is that? Why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got him home?
RPW: The Republican candidate prefers kipping' on it's back!
P: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Republican when I got him home, and I discovered the only reason that he had been standing at the podium in the first place was that he had been nailed there.
RPW:Well, o'course he was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that man down, he would have nuzzled up to those Democrats and VOOM!
P: "VOOM"? This McCain wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! He's passed on! This Republican candidate is no more! He has ceased to be! Expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! This is an ex-Candidate !
RPW: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
RPW: Sorry ma'am, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of antique right wing politicians.
P : I see. I get the picture.
RPW: I got a Rudy Giuliani.
P: Has it got a prayer of being elected?
RPW: Not really.
(Fade to song about wanting to be an Alaskan Trooper)

13 comments:

Cody Bones said...

I think that only lumberjacks will get this post Lucy.

iMuslim said...

Brilliant!

Cheezy said...

Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more... Superb stuff :)

Cody Bones said...

My God, I just realize that I slept all night and I worked all day.

Anonymous said...

Lucy,

sense of humor separates Americans and Brits more than language...

was the "pet shop skit" a monty python thing?

Q

annie said...

Q-Some Americans have a sense of humor, and watched Monty Python's Flying Circus regularly. Keep those generalizations coming! In fairness, I do admit that I fall prey to the very same thing.

What a shrill, awful woman they've chosen to represent the party. With so many positively brilliant women out there, they go for the lowest common denominator. Most disheartening.

Has anyone noticed that there are no parallels being drawn to the republicans that still occupy the White House. Gee, I wonder why that is? What a mess.

Anonymous said...

annie,

I thought you were turned into a newt. You must have gotten better...

What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color?

Q

annie said...

Q-Newt's on your side, buddy. didn't you see him interviewed the night before last? He's up to his usual stuff. I'll continue visiting Lucy's blog, despite your closed-minded presence here.

Have a nice day!

Lucy said...

If you have missed Monty Python Q, you have missed a treat. Brit humour at its best.
I did play with the Lumberjack song first of all Cody, 'I'm Republican and i'm OK' but this one was just obvious once i thought about it.

Anonymous said...

Excellent!

This election is reality tv at its finest!

Anonymous said...

annie,

I have no idea what you consider to be open minded (unless you mean socialist), I certainly haven't seen anything from your comments that indicates "openess" of thought. I've never seen you change a position or even grant that someone made a good point...

I do see the potential mental inflexiblity in your comments. For example: my reference was not to Newt Gringrich (sp?) but to the subject at hand - Monty Python - where you sought to make another personal attack on me by implying that I have no sense of humor (apparently becuase it isn't like yours) since I didn't appreciate Monty Python humor. For the record I like Monty Python. In fact, my quote was a slight deviation from a quote in the Monty Python movie "In Search Of The Holy Grail" in the scene where they want to hang a woman for being a witch. One of the many people covered in muck was screaming "she turned me into a newt". The camera and all the other people covered in muck focus on him and he then says "she turned me into a newt, but I got better". Because it is fairly obscure quote I threw in another clue... the three questions; Remember the bridge scene where if you answer 3 questions you can pass and if not you are thrown into the abyss? Some of the questions the dude asked "What is your name?", "what is your favorite color", "what is your quest?". I actually expected you to recognize that and get a laugh...

Lucy, I thought you would recognize these also.

Q

PS - Annie if all you want to hear are thoughts that you agree with, you might find it alonely world...

annie said...

Q, I readily admit that I have trouble playing well with those that decided our fate with their vote for 'ol what's his name who's been our president for these eight excruciatingly bad years. As for opposing viewpoints, I live among and work with many who do not share my political opinions in any way. Comes with the territory- it's a small town.

As for Monty Python... a big sigh is all I can muster. The sense of humor sure is a subjective thing.

I'm just doing my part to keep the republicans du jour away from the presidency. I harbor no ill intent toward you personally, Q. Just really done with too much bullshit.
Peace.

Lucy said...

Fair enough Q, i was a bit confused about your comment at the time as i just didn't see the Monty Python link. I do now and glad to see you are actually a Python fan also. If i recall correctly, the bridge keeper was your very own Terry Gilliam.