Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Keeping Our Peckers Up

How crazy would the World have to be before it began taking advice from any of the Jackson clan but it was Janet Jackson who told us that the best things in life are free just before her right nipple put in an appearance and her career joined her brother Michael's in the doldrums. Luckily Luther Vandross also sang us the advice but as yet he has kept his man-boobs under wraps but regardless of who said it, they were certainly right and nothing comes less expensive than a spot of bedroom gymnastics.
According to two reports released today, we are fighting the recession with a smile on our face and an argument over who is going to sleep in the wet patch.
Online grocer Ocado have reported that condom sales are up by 60%, and sales of pregnancy tests have doubled which leads me to think that a few condom manufacturers could be receiving some strongly worded letters of complaint in the very near future.
Also up are sales of aphrodisiac foods and candles but when we are not panting down the phone to Ocado, the report from the UK's largest directory inquiry service shows that while many businesses are going to the wall and requests for credit card companies and house clearance services are on the up, the industry with the sharpest increase is numbers for sex shops, lap dancing clubs and escort agencies.
The figures from January to June show an increase of 1,312% for sex shops, 469% for pole dancing establishments and a rise of 40% for escort agencies.
Good to see that the British upper lip is not the only thing being kept stiff.


Cody Bones said...

The only recession proof industries are condoms and beer. I'm NOT kidding.

Lucy said...

According to male friends, every mans lav has a condom machine in it. It seems beer and condoms have very strong links.

Kvatch said...

You can always count on sin! ;-)

I remember when I was living in Minnesnowta how the most popular month for births was October. Gotta do something during those long dark winter months.

Frogette said...

Yes, but are the tips staying high or are people "economizing"? That's the real question. If you're seeing the smaller denomination bills in the g-strings, recession is upon us.