Friday, 3 August 2012

Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness


Whatever the emergency, we can always depend upon our Governments to keep us informed and prepared and the Centers for Disease Control for has set aside a portion of their website for instructions regarding a Zombie apocalypse.
Yep, that's an invasion by zombies as the CDC director, Dr Ali Khan, explains 'We continue to reach and engage a wide variety of audiences on all hazards preparedness via Zombie Preparedness'.
The website offers advice to surviving a zombie attack stating that 'when it happens you’ll be happy you read this' and explains that 'In such a scenario zombies would take over entire countries, roaming city streets eating anything living that got in their way'. Cripes.
So what does the CDC advise we do when the reanimated corpses of the dead arrive?
'First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp. If zombies did start roaming the streets, we would conduct an investigation and provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas.'
At long last, the Government is getting serious about the impending zombie apocalypse. I assume we will be informed of the zombie-free refugee camps at the time so i'm off to prepare my emergency kit to survive those first few nervous days and i will see those of you who havent had your brains eaten or are part of the walking dead themselves at the safe camp.
My only concern is there is no mention on the site of what to do if they break into the Thriller dance as i never quite got the hang of those moves.

No comments: