Friday, 5 December 2014

The Nativity For Cockney's

It has been said that many British don't understand the origins of Christmas with the East End of London most ignorant of the Nativity so it is to them that i direct this Two Ronnie's inspired post that hopefully will make everything clear.

About two thousand donkey’s ears ago there lived a young Cadbury’s Twirl named Mary. One Day's Dawning an angel appeared and told her she had been chosen to have a dustbin lid. The dustbin lid would be God's currant bun and she must call him Jesus.
Mary and Joseph were Cash and Carried and Joseph and his trouble and strife were told they had to go on a long Ball of Chalk to Bethlehem. Mary had to ride on a donkey down the frog and toad but at last Mary and Joseph arrived in Bethlehem. Mary was very tired and needed a place take a sooty and sweep but there was no room at the Rub-a-dub-dub but one said he had a stable, there was a nasty George Raft and a bit two thirty but they could stay there Burton-on-Trent free as long as they could stand the pen and ink.
A short Harry Lime later, Mary gave birth to her Currant Bun and she wrapped Jesus in an old Westminster Abbey Nanny Goat and laid Him in a manger.
Some nearby Arnold Palmers saw a bright light appear in the apple pie and couldn't believe their mince pies when an Angel appeared and told them that God’s currant bun had been born.
The Arnold Palmers went to see the dustbin lid and said that an angel had appeared in the apple pie and told them that this dustbin lid was to be the Saviour.
Meanwhile a carpet Wise Men saw a new La-Di-Da in the apple pie and they knew from their fish hooks that it meant that a great rubber ring had been born.
They decided to find this new rubber ring guided by the la-di-da and when they found him they gave him gave him gifts and that’s why we have Christmas.

1 comment:

MB said...

Amazing job Falling on a bruise. My class will lap this up. I have emailed you.