Saturday, 11 July 2015

Foiling The Conservatives

The weekly kids’ newspaper First News held a junior general election, taken by over 5,000 children aged between seven and 14, and as this is the next generation of voters the results are unnerving as the little tykes put the Conservatives way in power with 40% of the vote. Labour only managed 20% and the Greens came in third place with 18%.
There is some hope for mankind yet though because as anyone who has had children will know, the vast majority of kids are right-wing.
They will throw tantrums if they can't get their own way, refuse to share their toys or sweets and are  self-interested, insecure and sulky if someone has what they want.
Gratefully the vast majority of children also grow out of this phase when they come to realise that they are not actually the centre of the universe, and that the needs of others are just as important as yours.
Of course not all children go through this passage and some spend their life stuck in the same view as that of a two year old which is why there are Conservatives and Ukippers still anxiously putting X's on voting slips in the world.
As yet David Cameron has not seen fit to lower the voting age to two but if we can distract his Government with cups of Ribena, some Jammy Dodgers and a Peppa Pig DVD Box set for the next five years we may stave off the worst of things.

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