Tuesday, 4 July 2017

Live From 1776

News breaking from Philadelphia, the thirteen American colonies have declared themselves independent and have named themselves the United States of America. 
Let's go straight over to Lucy in 1776, what are you hearing Lucy?
Thanks George, i'm here on the lawn of the Pennsylvania State House and plantation owner, early slave labour adopter and inventor of the swivel chair Thomas Jefferson has just read out a declaration where the thirteen states are no longer under British Rule and have declared themselves an independent nation.
A group calling themselves the Founding Fathers are speaking and although it isn't easy to hear from my position, Jefferson's opening line of 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal' bought a few raised eyebrows from the slaves who were listening from the cotton fields alongside us. 
Safe to assume that Slave Traders Robert Morris and Carter Braxton kept their heads down when that bit was written and looking at the morbidly obese Benjamin Franklin, fair to say his girth is equal to three men.
Let's see if we can get a comment from Benjamin Rush who famously said with the right treatment, blacks could be cured and made white, Mr Rush, as a slave owner will you now be freeing your slaves to enable them to take up the unalienable rights endowed by the Creator of Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness?
Seems Mr Rush isn't keen to speak to us and the only bit i caught was that last word 'Off' he shouted.
It is unsubstantiated that William Whipple, Francis Lightfoot Lee and John Adams wanted a clause inserted to make another unalienable right the right to marry their own relatives, all three men already being wed to their cousins, but more on that later as we watch chaotic scenes as the Founding Fathers try to unfurl the new American flag only to discover that Benjamin Franklin has several chicken legs and half a boar wrapped up in it. A snack for later probably.
So back to you in the studio on this momentous Day when America declares itself independent and we witness the birth of a new country, Benjamin Franklin's latest chin and 200 years of making fun of the way they say Aluminium and refuse to use the letter U in words.   
Thanks Lucy, now the weather...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Americans had to slough off a lot of shit inherited from the English.

Q

Falling on a bruise said...

Thankfully all racial discrimination stopped in 1776 after you all turned American.

Anonymous said...

No, the shit you brought to America took a long time to change. Yawl spread it all over the world didn't you? Quit pointing fingers hypocrite.

You really shouldn't toss stones

q

Falling on a bruise said...

Very true, those religionists who set up in the USA were nasty pieces of work, can see why it took so long to shake off their particular brand of discrimination.

Keep Life Simple said...

Yeah, look how awesome the UK is without religionists (don't think this is a word Lucy).

Likely beyond left comprehension, but a person can believe in a creator without following the dogma of a religion...

q