Sunday 20 December 2020

Special Guest Blogger: Wenceslaus I, Duke of Bohemia

Firstly i was the real life Good King Wenceslaus sung about in that Carol, secondly i wasn't a king but a Duke in the Czech Republic and thirdly the Feast of Stephen, when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even was the day i was horrifically stabbed and dismembered, consider that while you're recovering from your turkey and pudding stupor, the jolly sights and sounds of the holidays don't seem quite so jolly while your gizzards are being forcibly dragged from your body.
I was the son of Vratislaus I, Duke of Bohemia and enjoyed the easy life during the early 10th century, until my father was killed in battle and in 10th Century Europe, being killed in battle was a pretty good outcome.
My grandmother, a Christian, became regent but she was killed by my pagan mother, strangled by her own veil because she was bringing me up as a Christian, so mum took the role of regent for herself and decided that she could get used to this whole ruling thing so set about ridding Bohemia of the Christian fad that was sweeping Europe but that backfired and she was forced into exile and i took control of the government.
My younger brother Boleslav the Cruel, was always a mummy's boy so when i was bringing beggars out in the snow gathering firewood into my warm castle for a cup of hot turnip juice, my brother was plotting to kill me, and you didn't want to spend time with your family at Christmas!
The plan was to invite me to a meal to celebrate the feast of Saints Cosmas and Damian and to unify our family but the thought that he might not be handing me plates of Christmas cheer did cross my mind but i accepted the invitation believing that my own brother wouldn't really do that to me.
Wow, did i misjudge that because when i turned up, him and his goons all took it in turns to stab me to death and to make sure, ran me through with a lance and dismembered me. I always considered myself head and shoulders above my brother and i literally was, my head ended up on top of the gatehouse and my body in the moat but with hindsight, with a name like Boleslav the Cruel and the whole previous killing family members thing, i should have seen one that coming i guess.

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