Special Guest Blogger: Sumerian Goddess Inanna

Despite being the daughter of Anu and being an ancient Sumerian goddess of sex, war, and fertility, i wasn't good girlfriend material as i tended to kill or sacrifice most of my lovers.
I was raped by a lowly gardener called Shukaletuda, he was terrible at his job as all of his plants died, except for one poplar tree and it was while i slept under this particular tree that he raped me. In a fit of rage, i turned the rivers to blood, covered the Earth with storms, and tormented the people with disease. I eventually found my rapist hiding in a city and flailed him, removing his skin.
Despite being married to Dumuzi and building him a city to rule called Uruk, i once tried to seduce King Gilgamesh. He refused because he knew about my reputation for mistreating my past lovers, the shepherd who i turned into a wolf and the gardener who i turned into a dwarf so i released the Bull of Heaven in an attempt to kill him but he killed the Bull instead.
It was at the the funeral in the Underworld that i met the underworld's ruler, my sister Ereshkigal (we were not a close family ) who made me pass through seven gates at the entrance to the Underworld, the Underworlds security is very tight, you might think your security is bad,
trying to get into the realm of the dead is something else.
At each gate i had to remove a piece of clothing or jewelry. This continued until i was naked and in a moment of poor judgment, i sat on Ereshkigal's throne, for which leaving a big sweaty butt patch on it, i was punished by being turned into a corpse and hung upside-down from meat hooks.
Many of the gods blamed me for this fate, but the god of wisdom, Enki, decided to rescue me but as no one could leave the underworld without someone taking their place, i offered up my husband who i thought didn't seem suitably upset enough when he thought i had died.
Not that dying and hanging off a hook slowed me down, having heard that the Tablet of Destinies
which gives the owner super powers and had been left for safekeeping with Enki, i paid him a visit who with a fw bottles of alcohol and got him well and truly sozzled and then tried to nick them but Enki had super-glued them to his chest. God of Wisdom see, he knew what i was up to.
Not sure what happened to them but the Christian God ended up with some of them and last time i saw bits of them were being lugged down a mountain by Moses.