Special Guest Blogger: Greek God Hephaestus

As the son of Zeus and Hera i should have been made but i was born with weak limbs and an ugly face and my disappointed mother took one look at me, said 'Ewww' and rather unsympathetically tipped me over the edge of Mount Olympus into the sea.
Luckily not all the Goddesses were unfeeling bitches and Eurynome and Thetis, took pity on me and taught me to make things from metal and i had a real knack for it and i graduated from ashtray's and coat hangers to greater and grander things to become a master blacksmith creating clockwork tables, armor of invincibility and robotic statues.
I set up my own forge under the sea with an anvil and twenty bellows and my skill soon caught the attention of the Gods, Zeus especially liked my thunderbolts for which he placed on regular order and i began making all the weapons of the gods in Olympus which came in very handy during the war with the Titans.
Along with my Cyclopes assistants, Brontes, Steropes and Arges, i crafted much of the magnificent equipment of the gods, Hermes' winged helmet and sandals, the Aegis breastplate, Aphrodite's famed girdle, Agamemnon's staff of office, Achilles' armour, Diomedes' cuirass, Heracles' bronze clappers, Helios' chariot, the shoulder of Pelops and Eros's bow and arrows, all my work.
Peace came and with it new demands as i could make just about anything except make my wife Aphrodite happy, she did cheat on me a lot but i did have a small revenge when i caught her and Ares in a net of and dragged them both to Olympus and put them on display for a bit but the real revenge was kept for my mum for rejecting me.
I was asked to make thrones for all the Gods and i made mum a special magical golden throne, which, when she sat on it, grabbed her and wouldn't allow her to stand up again.
The other gods begged me to let her go, but i refused and she would probably still be there now if Dionysus, the god of wine, didn't get me drunk and forced me to Olympus to release her.
Prometheus stole the fire that he gave to man from my forge and Zeus asked me to create a large jar to hold all the blessings and evils the God's bestowed upon humanity which he gave to Prometheus' brother Epimetheus and created a wife for him, Pandora.
So that didn't turn out so well for mankind what with all the sickness, death and many other evils she released but i can't be blamed for that, i only made the jar but i was not inherently 'good' or 'evil' because all the Gods are imperfect in some way, our personalty and characters refecting society and human nature itself. Oh except Hera, she was a straight up absolute bitch.