I was English and started up a business in South Africa but it flopped so i got on a boat bound for the United States and moved to San Francisco where i began to make a fortune in the real estate market and hearing of a rice shortage in China, put all of my money into rice farming and exportation just as the rice famine in China ended which resulted in my bankruptcy so unable to convince the American courts to give me back my money, i took the obvious step of not letting the pesky rice markets ruin my finances by donning a military uniform with a beaver skin hat complete with a peacock feather and declared myself the Emperor of the United States.
I submitted edicts and proclamations to the newspapers such as the United States' dissolution, bridges to be built, streets to be repaired, equal rights for Black Americans and proposed the establishment of some sort of league of nations, decades before the rest of the world came around to the same idea, that sort of thing, nothing was too good for The Empire of Norton I.
Business owners invited me into their establishments and let me eat for free and tailors fixed my regal uniform and Shopkeepers even let me pay in my own imperial currency which was basically a slip of paper with a happy face drawn on it.
My reign as Emperor was tragically cut short after only 29 years when i collapsed and died in the street and some people will argue that i wasn't a real monarch but that's not what my headstone says, reading: 'Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico'.
Oh yeah, did i mention that i decided to be the 'Protector of Mexico' also? Well i was.
I wasn't a terrible Emperor, actually, i was the best one America ever had.
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