Today Is...National Cheese Day

I never knew there was such a difference in cheese between us and the Americans, i wrongly assumed their cheese was the same as our cheese but by all accounts even American's don't like their cheese and are not even allowed to call it cheese, it is legally known as a 'cheese product'.
Apparently the United States has an overwhelming surplus of cheese and the answer the economically repressed dairy farmers came up with as the price of their product tanked due to overproduction was to increase the amount of cheese product they made.
I, again wrongly, thought why don't they send some this way, Europeans love Cheese but then someone pointed out that they do export it here, those little square Kraft blocks that taste like you have forgotten to remove the plastic wrapper is American Cheese, or rather 'Cheese product'.
Reading the comments at some American sites, it appears that the problem is that Americans think American Cheese Product tastes like sh...not very nice which is why there is too much of it knocking around so America is drowning in plastic stuff that pretends to be cheese.
My initial solution was to make a massive pizza and send it to the World's starving but apparently the cheese doesn't melt, just sort of gets warm and bubbles a bit so my second idea was to pack it into a convoy of rockets and fire it at the Sun which seems a win-win all around.
As for the proper cheese the rest of us eat, i have had a long running dispute with the rest of my family that the mouldy bit on cheese can be cut off and the rest eaten because after all cheese is just mould anyway.
There counter-argument is that i don't know what i'm talking about and they wouldn't eat it if i held a gun to their head which would make dinner-time easier but is frowned upon by several of the Child Protection Societies so we all watched the documentary 'Trust Me, I'm a Doctor' with interest when the subject turned to 'When is mouldy food still safe to eat'.
After going through bread, jam, various fruits, nuts and seeds and we got to Cheese with the verdict being it is entirely safe to cut off the mouldy bits of hard cheese and use the rest.
My jubilation and shouts of 'IN YOUR FACE' to my family members were short lived though as the expert moved onto the soft cheese which can do you real harm if eaten when mouldy and should be thrown away.
So an amicable score draw and an agreement that mouldy SOFT cheese sandwiches won't be making it's way into their lunch boxes anymore although those black banana's that have been in the fruit bowl for a fortnight could well be putting in an appearance.