Britains Nuclear Damp Squib

Nuclear weapons are great for threatening other nations with, a case of don't tangle with us because we could make your country into a smoking hole within seconds.
Britain's nuclear deterrent comes in the shape of £133 billion worth of submarines which are secretly deposited around the world just ready for the word to launch Trident missiles onto whatever poor nation decided to get a bit uppity with us, or that's the plan anyway.
In a test of the system 8 years ago, a missile that had been fired had to be destroyed after going off course and instead of heading towards Africa it ended up veering towards the US so this time every precaution had been taken and mariners had been pre-warned of the direction the missile would take as it
travelled the 6,000km into the middle of the Atlantic between Africa and Brazil so with al the dignitaries in place, the button was pushed and the missile rocket sequence was instigated.
The tubes throbbed, there was a mighty woosh and the missile was launched and plopped pathetically out of the launch tube less than 2 meteres away in what the Ministry of Defence called: 'an event specific anomaly' or a complete embarrassing cock-up in any other language.
The Russian media had a field day, saying: 'Nobody was hurt, apart from the Royal Navy's reputation' and the Chinese media just said: 'Embarrassing' and while i am happy that the test to make sure we could obliterate a whole country and it's population in seconds failed, i do think that of you are paying £133 billion for something, you should be sure the damn thing works.
I would like to hope that what this means is that the Government will reaslise that the Nuclear thing is a massive white elephant and scarp them and spend the money on more important things but unfortunately, what i expect will happen now is the Government will use the failure as a reason to spend hundreds of billions more on either an upgrade or whole new nuclear system.