Climate Change Explained For The Elderly

Not sure how to take the results of the Trajectory and the communications agency Fleet Street poll which found that while 90% of the people asked said Green and environmental issues were important, less than half actually knew what the terms stood for.
I guess in some small way that's a victory for people like me who have been banging on about Green this and Environmentally friendly that since the 80's so the Environmental message has sunk in, just that only a minority knew what the message was actually about.
When asked, only 25% said they clearly understood what the terms 'green' and 'sustainable' meant and 47% could explain 'environmentally friendly', 'locally grown' and 'single used plastics'.
The least understanding age group is the over 65's with the 18 to 24 age group much more confident when it comes to understanding key terms around the climate and the environment which leans towards it being a generational issue.
Friends of the Earth, said: 'There’s more concern about the climate than ever before and we need to ensure that clear, accessible language is used' or we could just explain it in a way that the older generation understand such as:

1.5°C - Minimum the Earth should be allowed to warm...or put your mince in the air fryer for 15 mins on 180C and it comes out lovely and crispy. Put it in for 15 mins on 181.5C and oops, too crispy

Adaptation - The process of adjustment to expected climate and its effects...or wear a cap in summer to stop your bald patch going too red.

Air pollution - Degradation of air quality with negative effects on human health...or not sitting next to Eric after he has eaten all those Brussell Sprouts

Biodiversity - The variability among living things and the complexes of which they are part...or the local council estate with all those foreigners from god knows where

Carbon Capture - Capturing Carbon Dioxide from the atmosphere...or like that Fart in a Biscuit Tin game you played as kids.

Climate - The average weather you can expect...or packing a light cardigan for your trip to Margate in August because you know how nippy it can be there.  

Climate Change - A change in the state of the climate attributed directly or indirectly to human activity...or when you say kid's don't know what snow is, we had to walk 2 miles to school in the stuff up around our ears in my day.

Climate model - A representation of the climate system based on the physical, chemical and biological properties of its components...or buggers using computers rather than their fingers and a bit of paper like we had to.

Climate target - A temperature limit used towards avoiding dangerous situations...or turning on the baths cold tap before you lower yourself into it.

Drought - A period of abnormally dry weather...or when your lawn goes brown in summer and you have to sneak out after dark to turn on the hose.

Electric vehicle - A vehicle whose propulsion is powered by electricity...or just like bumper cars

Extreme Weather Event - The occurrence of weather above or below a threshold value...or that windy day in 1987 when your dustbin ended up four streets over

Flood - The overflowing of the normal confines of a body of water...or when you forget to turn off the sink tap because Eric phoned about going down the Conservative Club later and you got chatting.

Food security - Having access to sufficient food...or the day after the big shop for the week.

Fossil fuels - Carbon-based fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas from fossil hydrocarbon deposits...or those places with Miners that Maggie Thatcher closed down

Glacier - A perennial mass of ice...or what Margret has in her Gin and Tonics down at the Dog and Trumpet only much, much, MUCH bigger.

Green - Living your life while considering what impacts your behavior and actions have on our planet...or not treading the soil from your allotment in the house and leaving it for the missus to clean up

Greenhouse Effect - Warming of the atmosphere when heat is unable to escape into space...or when you wake up in the night sweating because you forgot to turn off the electric blanket and you had that extra thick duvet on the bed.

Heatwave - A period of abnormally hot weather...or when your Wurthers Original get stuck together in the packet

Net zero - When carbon dioxide emissions are balanced by carbon dioxide removals...or that one and only time you put £10 in the drinks kitty and actually only drank £10 worth of Old Worthy's Bitter.

Reforestation - Planting new forests on lands that do not contain forests...or that place before the council built all those flats for those bloody asylum seekers.

Sea surface temperature - The temperature in the top few meters of the ocean...or when you dip your feet in the sea in Benidorm and don't go running back up the beach shouting 'Bugger That, it's Freezing'.

Sustainability - A process for the persistence of natural and human systems...or voting for Brexit because of all the foreigners over here and then complaining that Tesco has no cucumbers because all the vegetable pickers have gone back to their own country.

Tipping point - A level of change that refers to when the climate changes irreversibly...or that moment you called Doris a rude name for cheating at cards and you knew you would never be welcome in the Day centre ever again.