The FOAB Manifesto Launch

 
People say we are out of touch with the common man but here at the Falling On A Bruise Blog we know about hardship. Growing up we couldn't afford tea or coffee, we had to suck rainwater out of a piece of damp cloth and we lived in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing and we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
We used to have to get up every morning, at six o'clock to go to work down the mill, twenty four hours a day for 17p a week, and when we got home we would eat a handful of cold gravel so we know of your struggles so here is the FOAB manifesto to put the Great back into Britain after what the posh Twats have done to it.

First up is scrap the Nuclear Weapons: We don't need them, they are ridiculously expensive and if we did use them it would be because someone else did so the world would be ended anyway. That's £200 billion saved straight away.
Next is reverse the madness that was Brexit and rejoin the Single Market and Customs Union which is worth an additional £140 billion to the UK Economy.
Then a Windfall tax on banks and utilities making obscene profits which would bring in £20 billion
Not sure what Capital Gains tax is but i am hearing financial experts say by tinkering with it we could bring in an additional £5bn so we will do that.
The Royals are worth hundreds of millions so why are we still shoveling cash towards them? Sorry your Highness but pay for your own bloody upkeep and we will keep the £100m.

So the back of my fag packet shows that is savings of £365 billion so where would we spend it?

The cost of a new hospital is approximately £178 million so to actually build the 40 new hospitals we were promised but never arrived would cost £7.2 billion so grab your toolbags builders.
Next up would be renewable energy and with currently 43% of our power coming from renewable sources, and the Government say to double this would cost £1.8 billion so here's a cheque, go do it and reduce peoples utility bills and stop polluting our planet.
Then Foreign aid which the Conservatives cut to 0.5% (£1 billion) with a promise to raise it once they could which they never did so we won't be putting it back to 0.7% but throwing it up to 1.5% at a cost of £3 billion because if we can spend £60 billion on weapons to take lives, we sure as hell can afford £3 billion to save them.
Finally we will build the 400 schools which we are told are needed at £35m a pop so that's a bill of £14bn.

Of the £365 billion additional income raised, that's a spending of £25 billion leaving an additional £340bn to still spend according to my fag packet so on July 4th vote for me and let's see if we can't make up for the last 14 years of Conservative ideological twatiness.

Disclaimer: The FOAB blog bears no responsibility if you vote them into office and their maths turns out to be very iffy.