The UK government is making a fresh bid to overturn a US ban on Haggis from 1971.
That is Haggis containing sheep's heart, liver and lungs encased in the animal's stomach.
As appetising as that may sound, i think Americans should give thanks to whoever it was that banned it in the first place and hope that the ban stays in place.
Monday, 30 June 2014
Saturday, 28 June 2014
Footballs Just A Branch Of Science
To many Isaac Newton is most famous for having an apple fall on his head but ask someone to explain any of his 3 laws of motion and they will stare off into the distance and mumble something about gravity.
The World Cup is the perfect excuse to bring Newton's laws of motion to the masses by showing them in action and sneakily educating the nation.
First Law: 'A body at rest will remain at rest, and a body in motion will remain in motion unless it is acted upon by an external force'.
This simply means that things cannot start, stop or change direction all by themselves and requires a force acting on to cause such a change. This can be shown by a Lionel Messi free kick where he will aim the ball (the body) towards the goal and the ball will keep going towards the net (be in motion) unless a defender or a goalkeeper (an external force) causes it to stop or change direction.
Second law: 'The acceleration of an object is dependent upon the net force acting upon the object and the mass of the object'.
What this comes down to is how much force it will take to accelerate a body to reach it's target taking into account the weight of the body and any external force. Consider Italy's Andrea Pirlo who spent the three games spraying passes around the pitch. If he was passing the ball a few metres he would kick (accelerate) the ball with a small amount of force to propel it to a teammate taking into account the friction of the ball rolling across the grass pitch (force acting upon the object) but the further his pass had to go he would have to apply more force (kick it harder) but with enough force that the ball would not only reach his teammate but be hit hard enough to allow for friction of the pitch and gravity if he lifted the ball that it would arrive at his teammates feet but not too hard so that it sailed over his head into the crowd.
Third law: 'When one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body'.
The third law means every action has an equal and opposite reaction so consider Wayne Rooney's header against the Uruguayan bar. He headed the ball (exerted a force) and the ball hit the bar and rebounded back onto the pitch (opposite reaction) with an equal amount of force as Rooney exerted on the ball and in the opposite direction as to which Rooney directed it.
So even with the man who came up with the rules of motion on the side of the English, this was not enough to overcome the first law of football, a manager and decent players who know what they are doing.
Lucy & Joswell 'Jossy' Blair
The World Cup is the perfect excuse to bring Newton's laws of motion to the masses by showing them in action and sneakily educating the nation.
First Law: 'A body at rest will remain at rest, and a body in motion will remain in motion unless it is acted upon by an external force'.
This simply means that things cannot start, stop or change direction all by themselves and requires a force acting on to cause such a change. This can be shown by a Lionel Messi free kick where he will aim the ball (the body) towards the goal and the ball will keep going towards the net (be in motion) unless a defender or a goalkeeper (an external force) causes it to stop or change direction.
Second law: 'The acceleration of an object is dependent upon the net force acting upon the object and the mass of the object'.
What this comes down to is how much force it will take to accelerate a body to reach it's target taking into account the weight of the body and any external force. Consider Italy's Andrea Pirlo who spent the three games spraying passes around the pitch. If he was passing the ball a few metres he would kick (accelerate) the ball with a small amount of force to propel it to a teammate taking into account the friction of the ball rolling across the grass pitch (force acting upon the object) but the further his pass had to go he would have to apply more force (kick it harder) but with enough force that the ball would not only reach his teammate but be hit hard enough to allow for friction of the pitch and gravity if he lifted the ball that it would arrive at his teammates feet but not too hard so that it sailed over his head into the crowd.
Third law: 'When one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body'.
The third law means every action has an equal and opposite reaction so consider Wayne Rooney's header against the Uruguayan bar. He headed the ball (exerted a force) and the ball hit the bar and rebounded back onto the pitch (opposite reaction) with an equal amount of force as Rooney exerted on the ball and in the opposite direction as to which Rooney directed it.
So even with the man who came up with the rules of motion on the side of the English, this was not enough to overcome the first law of football, a manager and decent players who know what they are doing.
Lucy & Joswell 'Jossy' Blair
More Earthquakes This Year
It seems you can't turn on a TV this year without hearing of an earthquake rattling somewhere so if you think there have been more earthquakes than usual this year, you're right as there has been twice as many in the first quarter of 2014 than average.
'We have recently experienced a period that has had one of the highest rates of great earthquakes ever recorded' said the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS).
All the Worlds tectonic plates are linked together and when one shifts it has a ripple effect on others which is how the USGS explain what is going on but they are still unable to make any predictions on why there are more or where the next earthquake will strike but they do admit to an increase of earthquakes over the past 20 years.
I wonder what has been happening over the past few decades that can possibly cause more earthquakes?
The Seismological Society of America pin the blame on fracking changing the stress on existing faults, inducing earthquakes that wouldn’t have happened otherwise and point to over 100 recorded quakes of magnitude 3.0 or larger each year between 2010 and 2013, compared to an average of 21 per year over the preceding three decades.
We know fracking induces earthquakes but it's going to be another climate change type battle with the people with the most to lose refusing to accept the dangers and the science until it is too late.
'We have recently experienced a period that has had one of the highest rates of great earthquakes ever recorded' said the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS).
All the Worlds tectonic plates are linked together and when one shifts it has a ripple effect on others which is how the USGS explain what is going on but they are still unable to make any predictions on why there are more or where the next earthquake will strike but they do admit to an increase of earthquakes over the past 20 years.
I wonder what has been happening over the past few decades that can possibly cause more earthquakes?
The Seismological Society of America pin the blame on fracking changing the stress on existing faults, inducing earthquakes that wouldn’t have happened otherwise and point to over 100 recorded quakes of magnitude 3.0 or larger each year between 2010 and 2013, compared to an average of 21 per year over the preceding three decades.
We know fracking induces earthquakes but it's going to be another climate change type battle with the people with the most to lose refusing to accept the dangers and the science until it is too late.
Friday, 27 June 2014
Strange Noises
Everyone must have seen the classic 70s film 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' which depicted an imagined first contact with an alien civilisation and can hum that 5 note tune right now which is Spielberg's idea of how we would communicate with an alien life force.
Humans have been sending signals and radio waves out into the depths of space since the space programme began but as yet nobody has come over to see who it is making such a racket in the Milky Way but they may have sent a message back as we have received quite a few unexplained noises coming in our general direction that scientists have no explanation for.
One such signal was received in 1977 by the Big Ear radio observatory in Ohio, a 72 second signal which was never heard again and 40 years later can still not be explained by scientists who have ruled out satellites, aircraft, ground-based transmitters on Earth and general space noise.
This week NASA have picked up another unexplained and baffling sound from space, this time they traced it to the Perseus galaxy cluster, 240 million light years away.
What if the source of the 1977 and 2014 sounds were a signals coming from another planet probing the sky and directing signals towards location they themselves thought may contain life.
Two thoughts.
Firstly, if we are only now hearing sounds which were emitted 240 million light years ago, any alien civilisation that had the technology then to do what we are only doing now, would be so far superior to us that the feeble attempts to contact them that we are making would be as incompatible as trying to send a smoke signal to an email account.
In the opposite direction, we will not have the technology to catch communications sent by a civilisation many millenniums further down the communications evolutionary time line than us.
Secondly, do we really want to announce ourselves to a hugely advanced civilisation that would view us with as much disdain as we view an insect?
It is just a shame that the mysterious sounds are not coming from Uranus, that would just be too much to ask but for now there is no noise coming from Uranus although by all accounts the smell isn't great. Oh grow up.
Humans have been sending signals and radio waves out into the depths of space since the space programme began but as yet nobody has come over to see who it is making such a racket in the Milky Way but they may have sent a message back as we have received quite a few unexplained noises coming in our general direction that scientists have no explanation for.
One such signal was received in 1977 by the Big Ear radio observatory in Ohio, a 72 second signal which was never heard again and 40 years later can still not be explained by scientists who have ruled out satellites, aircraft, ground-based transmitters on Earth and general space noise.
This week NASA have picked up another unexplained and baffling sound from space, this time they traced it to the Perseus galaxy cluster, 240 million light years away.
What if the source of the 1977 and 2014 sounds were a signals coming from another planet probing the sky and directing signals towards location they themselves thought may contain life.
Two thoughts.
Firstly, if we are only now hearing sounds which were emitted 240 million light years ago, any alien civilisation that had the technology then to do what we are only doing now, would be so far superior to us that the feeble attempts to contact them that we are making would be as incompatible as trying to send a smoke signal to an email account.
In the opposite direction, we will not have the technology to catch communications sent by a civilisation many millenniums further down the communications evolutionary time line than us.
Secondly, do we really want to announce ourselves to a hugely advanced civilisation that would view us with as much disdain as we view an insect?
It is just a shame that the mysterious sounds are not coming from Uranus, that would just be too much to ask but for now there is no noise coming from Uranus although by all accounts the smell isn't great. Oh grow up.
Obama's Syria Speech
As all of the Presidents scriptwriters have gone home to shoot bullets into the air to celebrate the 4th July, i have written a speech for Obama to read out regarding his latest plans for Syria.
Dear American People
I, Barack Obama, am proposing escalating US involvement in the Syrian civil war by making a request to Congress for $500m for the US military to train and equip moderate Syrian rebels.
Now i know what many of you are thinking, How can we be sure the Syrian rebels do not end up fighting for the ISIS in Iraq?
We have thought of that and we will make all rebels sign a form promising that any weapons that we provide will only be used against Syrians and not Iraqi's.
We have been very keen on this point and have even gone so far to make them do a pinky promise so there is no chance whatsoever that we will have another situation where the group of terrorists that we arm will turn around and try to kill us and our friends with our own weapons.
I am confident that the next group that we train and equip to fight against President Assad will stay on the Syrian side of the border this time.
People of America, i'm sure that you will agree with me that adding half a billion dollars to the $17 trillion debt is a price worth paying to arm rebels in a country ten thousand miles away which is no danger to the US.
We can only hope that with our money and with the help of Syrian President Assad who is presently attacking ISIS in Iraq and Iran who is supporting both the Iraqi President Maliki and Syrian leader while we try to overthrow both the Syrian and Iranian Governments, everything will work out just fine.
May God Bless America
Barack Obama
Dear American People
I, Barack Obama, am proposing escalating US involvement in the Syrian civil war by making a request to Congress for $500m for the US military to train and equip moderate Syrian rebels.
Now i know what many of you are thinking, How can we be sure the Syrian rebels do not end up fighting for the ISIS in Iraq?
We have thought of that and we will make all rebels sign a form promising that any weapons that we provide will only be used against Syrians and not Iraqi's.
We have been very keen on this point and have even gone so far to make them do a pinky promise so there is no chance whatsoever that we will have another situation where the group of terrorists that we arm will turn around and try to kill us and our friends with our own weapons.
I am confident that the next group that we train and equip to fight against President Assad will stay on the Syrian side of the border this time.
People of America, i'm sure that you will agree with me that adding half a billion dollars to the $17 trillion debt is a price worth paying to arm rebels in a country ten thousand miles away which is no danger to the US.
We can only hope that with our money and with the help of Syrian President Assad who is presently attacking ISIS in Iraq and Iran who is supporting both the Iraqi President Maliki and Syrian leader while we try to overthrow both the Syrian and Iranian Governments, everything will work out just fine.
May God Bless America
Barack Obama
Tuesday, 24 June 2014
Ireland Tops Best Nation List
Of all the countries recognised by the United Nations, some are decent peace loving nations who contribute to the common good of humanity, and some not quite so much and finally we have a study of which countries are a credit to the planet, and which are a burden to the rest of us.
The Good Country Index has gathered together information from 125 nations regarding science & technology, culture, international peace and security, the environment and prosperity and decided that Ireland is the best country in the world and has made the greatest contributions to humanity and the planet.
Second is Finland and then Switzerland with the UK the 7th best country while the fondness for starting wars in the Middle East and generally being all round warmongers drags down the United States to a lowly 114th out of the 125 nations represented for International Peace leaving them in 21st place in the overall rankings.
America's neighbour Canada earns bragging rights in the North American continent by landing a 12th place finish and Australia are 15th.
The global leeches are Libya in last place and then Vietnam, Iraq, Azerbaijan and Angola although to be fair three the bottom three nations lack of contributions are a result of the actions of the 7th and 21st ranked countries.
So it's a hearty Toora Loora and the raising of a pint of Guinness to the Irish for being so damn good although i am left wondering just what Ireland actually contributes.
The Good Country Index has gathered together information from 125 nations regarding science & technology, culture, international peace and security, the environment and prosperity and decided that Ireland is the best country in the world and has made the greatest contributions to humanity and the planet.
Second is Finland and then Switzerland with the UK the 7th best country while the fondness for starting wars in the Middle East and generally being all round warmongers drags down the United States to a lowly 114th out of the 125 nations represented for International Peace leaving them in 21st place in the overall rankings.
America's neighbour Canada earns bragging rights in the North American continent by landing a 12th place finish and Australia are 15th.
The global leeches are Libya in last place and then Vietnam, Iraq, Azerbaijan and Angola although to be fair three the bottom three nations lack of contributions are a result of the actions of the 7th and 21st ranked countries.
So it's a hearty Toora Loora and the raising of a pint of Guinness to the Irish for being so damn good although i am left wondering just what Ireland actually contributes.
Football In America
The Chicago Tribune reported that an estimated 20,000 people attended a downtown viewing party of the Portugal v USA game and the game with Ghana enjoyed the largest ever audience for a football match, 27 million and with Jurgen Klinsmann's team on the verge of qualification from Group G and into the knock out phase, is Football about to go mainstream stateside?
Dan Courtemanche, a MLS executive, thinks Football in the USA may be reaching a point where it can safely hold its own with the more established sports such as Basketball, Baseball and American Football and the MLS does seem to be attracting some big names, albeit ones at the tail end of their careers such as Thierry Henry and David Villa.
While the USA doing well in tournaments like the World Cup will undoubtedly help the cause, i can see a few obstacles that stand it he way for football stateside.
The first is that it is hard for the TV stations to run two x 45 minutes slots without ad breaks so it isn't ever going to be a money spinner.
The second is that America is such a large country that the notion of local rivals is not the same as elsewhere where you can have two or more teams from the same city and the tribal sense of belonging that comes with that.
Hoping that your rival fails is as much a part of supporting a team as hoping your own side wins but with the vast space between teams in the MSL, that is missing.
Finally, the glamour ties against the historical big names are not there. Some of the best nights are the European Cup games against the best sides of footballing powerhouses from Italy, Spain and Germany.
The first problem can be overcome but jamming as many ad breaks into the half time while the second should solve itself the more football teams are created so rivalry will be generated.
The final problem i can't see how can be solved, playing friendlies against teams like AC Milan or Real Madrid is not the same.
What would help even more to solidify football in America is a truly world class player to emerge, someone for the American kids to aspire to and want to imitate.
Of course the established American sports won't just lay down and let Football take its revenue, it is in its interests to see football fall back to a minority sport so it may still have a long way to go but football may be making some inroads in America and the states may be ready to join the global football party.
I just wish they wouldn't insist on calling it soccer!
Dan Courtemanche, a MLS executive, thinks Football in the USA may be reaching a point where it can safely hold its own with the more established sports such as Basketball, Baseball and American Football and the MLS does seem to be attracting some big names, albeit ones at the tail end of their careers such as Thierry Henry and David Villa.
While the USA doing well in tournaments like the World Cup will undoubtedly help the cause, i can see a few obstacles that stand it he way for football stateside.
The first is that it is hard for the TV stations to run two x 45 minutes slots without ad breaks so it isn't ever going to be a money spinner.
The second is that America is such a large country that the notion of local rivals is not the same as elsewhere where you can have two or more teams from the same city and the tribal sense of belonging that comes with that.
Hoping that your rival fails is as much a part of supporting a team as hoping your own side wins but with the vast space between teams in the MSL, that is missing.
Finally, the glamour ties against the historical big names are not there. Some of the best nights are the European Cup games against the best sides of footballing powerhouses from Italy, Spain and Germany.
The first problem can be overcome but jamming as many ad breaks into the half time while the second should solve itself the more football teams are created so rivalry will be generated.
The final problem i can't see how can be solved, playing friendlies against teams like AC Milan or Real Madrid is not the same.
What would help even more to solidify football in America is a truly world class player to emerge, someone for the American kids to aspire to and want to imitate.
Of course the established American sports won't just lay down and let Football take its revenue, it is in its interests to see football fall back to a minority sport so it may still have a long way to go but football may be making some inroads in America and the states may be ready to join the global football party.
I just wish they wouldn't insist on calling it soccer!
Sunday, 22 June 2014
Treating Sunburn
As inevitably happens at least once each summer, we were caught without suncream and i am now the not so proud owner of a pair of arms and shoulders that are glowing bright enough to land aircraft.
The first course of action was to blame my husband for being stupid enough to think that i picked up the suncream when i thought he had and after that it is slap on a bucket of after-sun and turn to the internet for cures for sunburn.
As usual Google provides and the remedies range from applying cold tea bags and milk to slapping on the juice of a tomato and an apricot.
All the sites that seem to have a degree of something medical about them advise to avoid hot baths and soap, bath oils and body wash as this will only irritate the skin further. All also advise aspirin or ibuprofen as a pain reliever.
There are a few common methods on how to deal with the sunburn and applying anything which contains aloe vera is highly recommended as is soaking a washcloth in cool water and apply it directly to the burned areas for several minutes.
While a few sites will advise raiding your fruit bowl or salad drawer in the fridge, the potato apparently makes for a wonderful pain reliever. Either blended into a paste or even just cut in half and dabbed on the affected area, the good old spud is the way to go for relieving the pain of sunburn.
If anybody wants me i will be in the vegetable section of the supermarket smelling faintly of old tea bags.
The first course of action was to blame my husband for being stupid enough to think that i picked up the suncream when i thought he had and after that it is slap on a bucket of after-sun and turn to the internet for cures for sunburn.
As usual Google provides and the remedies range from applying cold tea bags and milk to slapping on the juice of a tomato and an apricot.
All the sites that seem to have a degree of something medical about them advise to avoid hot baths and soap, bath oils and body wash as this will only irritate the skin further. All also advise aspirin or ibuprofen as a pain reliever.
There are a few common methods on how to deal with the sunburn and applying anything which contains aloe vera is highly recommended as is soaking a washcloth in cool water and apply it directly to the burned areas for several minutes.
While a few sites will advise raiding your fruit bowl or salad drawer in the fridge, the potato apparently makes for a wonderful pain reliever. Either blended into a paste or even just cut in half and dabbed on the affected area, the good old spud is the way to go for relieving the pain of sunburn.
If anybody wants me i will be in the vegetable section of the supermarket smelling faintly of old tea bags.
Friday, 20 June 2014
Praying For England
Brazilian President, Dilma Rousseff, has asked the football loving Pope to stay neutral during the World Cup and not pray for Argentina.
Pope Francis has apparently agreed to keep the big guy out of it and will not be calling upon divine intervention but England has no such qualms about it and the Church of England have created a set of official prayers which asks God to grant it upon the England players that they might: 'run more clearly, pass more nearly and enjoy the game more dearly'.
Seems a bit weak, why didn't we ask that he tweaked Luis Suarez's achilles tendon prior to kick off or that Pirlo's hamstrings tightened up in the warm up to the previous game.
'For the next few weeks at least the passions and hearts of millions of men, women and children around the world will be focused on Brazil, where I’m pretty sure there will be lots of prayers being offered up throughout the tournament' explained the Bishop of Leeds, the Rt Rev Nick Baines, explaining it all comes down to which country has the best prayers.
Obviously the Spanish, Australian and Cameroonian prayers were rubbish because they are all out already but England are hanging in there and hoping that Italy do us a favour by beating Costa Rica and Uruguay.
Now is not the time for wishy washy prayers asking to run more nearly (whatever that means), we need action so its:
Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Give us this day a Balotelli hat-trick against Costa Rica
And a groin strain for Luis Suarez,
Lead us out of the group stages,
And deliver us into the knockout round.
Amen.
PS. If you can give Adrian Chiles of the ITV commentary team the flu for the next three weeks it would be very much appreciated. Thankies.
Pope Francis has apparently agreed to keep the big guy out of it and will not be calling upon divine intervention but England has no such qualms about it and the Church of England have created a set of official prayers which asks God to grant it upon the England players that they might: 'run more clearly, pass more nearly and enjoy the game more dearly'.
Seems a bit weak, why didn't we ask that he tweaked Luis Suarez's achilles tendon prior to kick off or that Pirlo's hamstrings tightened up in the warm up to the previous game.
'For the next few weeks at least the passions and hearts of millions of men, women and children around the world will be focused on Brazil, where I’m pretty sure there will be lots of prayers being offered up throughout the tournament' explained the Bishop of Leeds, the Rt Rev Nick Baines, explaining it all comes down to which country has the best prayers.
Obviously the Spanish, Australian and Cameroonian prayers were rubbish because they are all out already but England are hanging in there and hoping that Italy do us a favour by beating Costa Rica and Uruguay.
Now is not the time for wishy washy prayers asking to run more nearly (whatever that means), we need action so its:
Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Give us this day a Balotelli hat-trick against Costa Rica
And a groin strain for Luis Suarez,
Lead us out of the group stages,
And deliver us into the knockout round.
Amen.
PS. If you can give Adrian Chiles of the ITV commentary team the flu for the next three weeks it would be very much appreciated. Thankies.
Nobody Will Miss England At World Cup
As the World Cup on British television runs from approx 5pm to 1am each evening, the blog has taken a bit of a back seat recently but it has been a great tournament so far.
It has been especially satisfying to see the defending champions Spain go out at the group stage, not that i have anything against the Spaniards, it just got a bit boring seeing the same teams lifting the trophies so at least we are now guaranteed new World Champions.
One certainty is that it isn't going to be England who have all but followed the Spanish team out of the exit door but nobody here really expected Roy Hodgson's team to trouble the later stages of the tournament anyway so it isn't really a surprise that we sit bottom of the mini league with nil points.
I'm sure many supporters will have an opinion on why England were so bad at yet another tournament and the South American heat and humidity will take some of the blame but that shouldn't disguise the fact that the English team is just not very good and the crop of youngsters following them up are not pulling up any trees.
The manager Hodgson is also not very inspiring, his teams are not known for flair and creativity and he has bought this methodical approach with him onto the international stage with no success.
The truth is that England going out early will not detract from the tournament at all, sadly nobody will miss us but at least it may hurry up the retirement of the old guard that have failed so miserably yet again and maybe a manager who will choose players to make the team play with a bit of style.
It has been especially satisfying to see the defending champions Spain go out at the group stage, not that i have anything against the Spaniards, it just got a bit boring seeing the same teams lifting the trophies so at least we are now guaranteed new World Champions.
One certainty is that it isn't going to be England who have all but followed the Spanish team out of the exit door but nobody here really expected Roy Hodgson's team to trouble the later stages of the tournament anyway so it isn't really a surprise that we sit bottom of the mini league with nil points.
I'm sure many supporters will have an opinion on why England were so bad at yet another tournament and the South American heat and humidity will take some of the blame but that shouldn't disguise the fact that the English team is just not very good and the crop of youngsters following them up are not pulling up any trees.
The manager Hodgson is also not very inspiring, his teams are not known for flair and creativity and he has bought this methodical approach with him onto the international stage with no success.
The truth is that England going out early will not detract from the tournament at all, sadly nobody will miss us but at least it may hurry up the retirement of the old guard that have failed so miserably yet again and maybe a manager who will choose players to make the team play with a bit of style.
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