As all of the Presidents scriptwriters have gone home to shoot bullets into the air to celebrate the 4th July, i have written a speech for Obama to read out regarding his latest plans for Syria.
Dear American People
I, Barack Obama, am proposing escalating US involvement in the Syrian civil war by making a request to Congress for $500m for the US military to train and equip moderate Syrian rebels.
Now i know what many of you are thinking, How can we be sure the Syrian rebels do not end up fighting for the ISIS in Iraq?
We have thought of that and we will make all rebels sign a form promising that any weapons that we provide will only be used against Syrians and not Iraqi's.
We have been very keen on this point and have even gone so far to make them do a pinky promise so there is no chance whatsoever that we will have another situation where the group of terrorists that we arm will turn around and try to kill us and our friends with our own weapons.
I am confident that the next group that we train and equip to fight against President Assad will stay on the Syrian side of the border this time.
People of America, i'm sure that you will agree with me that adding half a billion dollars to the $17 trillion debt is a price worth paying to arm rebels in a country ten thousand miles away which is no danger to the US.
We can only hope that with our money and with the help of Syrian President Assad who is presently attacking ISIS in Iraq and Iran who is supporting both the Iraqi President Maliki and Syrian leader while we try to overthrow both the Syrian and Iranian Governments, everything will work out just fine.
May God Bless America
Barack Obama
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