Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Theft Is Wrong (Most Of The Time)

It took some goggling but i finally found the Simpson’s quote i was desperately searching for. The scene is Fat Tony and Bart talking about the rights and wrongs of taking things that are not yours and without paying.

Fat Tony: "Bart, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?"
Bart: "No."
Fat Tony: "Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?"
Bart: "Uh uh."
Fat Tony: "And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes?"
Bart: "I guess that's okay."
Fat Tony: "Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away.
Would that be a crime, Bart?"
Bart: "Hell, no!"

Now then, i have to state from the off that stealing is never right and anyone caught stealing should be severely slapped around the soles of their feet with a rubber hosepipe or something but sometimes you occasionally think, 'hmm, wonder if any of that will come my way."
One case in point is the story that Police in Israel are hunting a gang of thieves who raided a warehouse and made off with almost 100 tons of chocolate.
The company's owners said that it would require five large trucks to transport such a large amount of the product.
Five large trucks full of chocolate should not be hard to find, unless of course someone clears a large space behind their block in a quiet area of the city in return for the keys to the trucks back door. I promise to leave you at least a few tons.


Anonymous said...


That dialoge between tony and bart is classic progressive logic using passive language. My father (a lawyer) was a master at directing a conversations just like that... lawyer skills!


Noah "Nog" M. said...

Obviously a vast Zionist conspiracy.

Sarcasm aside, who goes to the effort of stealing so much chocolate? If I were a psychological profiler for these folks I'd say, "their parents must have abused them".

Stealing chocolate, definitely a capital offense.

Lucy said...

The Simpsons unexpectedly has some very sharp dialogue and when i was sitting infronmt of an empty bloger box thinking how to start this post, this seemed perfect.

Maybe Sharon woke up from his coma and felt peckish nog. His figure did make it seem as if he was partial to a bar or 10 of the stuff.