Friday, 8 February 2008

What Did We Ever Do To You Mitt?

There we were patiently sitting beside Asia and just above Africa not harming anyone and generally minding our own business when suddenly out of the blue, that nasty Mitt Romney launches an attack on us poor old Europeans. What did we do to you Mr Moody?
Romney waved goodbye to any chance he had of landing the White House job as he dropped out of the race to win the Republican nomination, then waved goodbye to any chance of an invite to the EU headquarters in Brussels by taking a swipe at Europe as he did so.
"If I fight on in my campaign i would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win" he said trying to make it sound as if watching frontrunner John McCain disappearing over the horizon wasn't the real reason.
Content that he had covered himself, he then aimed a wing tip at France's dangly bits by warning that America must not end up as "the France of the 21st century - still a great country but not the leader of the world, not the superpower". Fair enough, everyone partakes in ribbing the French at every opportunity, it is almost in the EU Constitution.
He then addressed what he saw as Europe's problems as he called on the USA to approve a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriages.
He said: "Europe is facing a demographic disaster. That's the inevitable product of weakened faith in the Creator, failed families, disrespect for the sanctity of human life, and eroded morality."
He may have it in for us Europeans who are atheists, single mothers, pro-abortionists or who support gay rights but he will soon mellow. If a few of us offer to repaint the baseline on his tennis court or plant a few bulbs in the flowerbed he will change his tune. It worked with the illegal immigrants he twice hired but remember, when you address him, he is a Mormon.
Yes, the second 'm' in Mormon is silent.


Jennyjinx said...

Yes, the second 'm' in Mormon is silent.

Priceless. :)

RaeJane said...

He's an ass..

And an animal abuser.

annie said...

letterman's had some great one-liners about mitt... "he looks like the guy that ok's your check at the grocery store" or he looks like the guy that's the manager of a steak house where you're eating, and keeps interrupting your meal to ask if everything alright" ba dum bum

David G said...

I had great fears of a Huckerbee Romney duo ending up in the White House. Wouldn't the god-botherers be happy? Shame about the rest of us!


Stephen said...

Huckabee won't win. It's the Dems to lose this year. As a left/liberal, The only Republican who scares me in terms of a possibility of winning is McCain.

annie said...

creepy mccain. i bet he's a real rage-aholic.

David G said...

Stephen, if your prediction is true and McCain wins then the world is lost!

Why do Americans elect such losers?

Stephen said...

I don't know why David, but probably a combination of sheer ignorance and media manipulation. I should clarify, it's not really a prediction, just a fear.

Lucy said...

I can only see the Democrats losing it also Stephen but then again i thought that Bush was out on his ear last time so strange things do happen.
Britain has elected some losers as well david (Thatcher and Blair spring to mind) but we didn't even get chance to elect our latest one.