Sunday, 1 June 2008

Who To Support In Euro 2008

European Championships start at the weekend and with England deciding to not qualify and let some other team have a go, we have nobody to cheer for. We are even denied the fallback position of cheering on anyone playing Scotland, Ireland or Wales because they were also too rubbish to qualify so the nation is frantically searching for a country to adopt for three weeks.
Some friends are going for countries they have good memories of holidaying in but what we all seem to be overlooking is that thanks to several successful invasions, us English have a hotch-potch of DNA in our veins and could easily switch our allegiance to fit our bloodline.
The Romans came, straightened our roads, built a wall to keep out the Scottish ruffians and particularly enjoyed showing their short swords to the ladies. They also had sex with many of them.
The Germanic Saxons then arrived en-masse and dipped their broadswords into the genealogical mix before it was the turn of the Vikings to park their long ships here while they went about their merry way raping, pillaging and assimilating themselves with whomever of our ancestors they hadn't chopped up into firewood.
The French Normans were the last mob to overrun us and left more than the lingering smell of garlic in the bedrooms of 11th century ladies.
So as for the Euro 2008 Championship you can either look up the origin of your surname as an indicator of who you should be supporting for or just cheer on the descendants of our Italian, Swede, German and French forefathers.

7 comments:

iMuslim said...

Is India playing in Euro 2008? ;)

The Fez Monkey said...

Forzza Azzurri

I am so stoked about Euro 2008 starting. It means there's only two more years of waiting until S.Africa 2010.

Ook ook

Lucy said...

Even i know India is not in Europe and is off the coast of New Zealand imuslim.

I haven't seen the betting but according to my admittedly dodgy sources, Italy are going to romp home with room to spare fez. I am backing Sweden for the typical girly reason that i like the Swedish kit.

effay said...

Thought you might like this Lucy:

http://www.cato-at-liberty.org/2008/06/02/only-in-england/

Lucy said...

Thanks effay, just proves that all the jerks are not in Government, some of them are security officials also.

Cody Bones said...

Oh My God, a reference to the Cato institute at Falling on a Bruise. Be still my heart, this totally makes my day Lucy. Individual Liberty, Free Markets, and Peace. Next thing I know you'll be quoting Ayn Rand, and William F. Buckley Jr.

Don said...

Funny, though. While they rightly make fun of the officer at Heathrow, they also spare some for the Americans for banning fingernail clippers and small bottles. But those could actually be used to hijack or bring down a plane. So I'm not sure the author should be so smug.

Anyway. I never thought of England as a melting pot, but I guess it is, or was, up until 1066 or so. NTS, from here is the US there isn't any country it wouldn't make sense to root for. Even Iran: I know far more Iranians than, I dunno, Swedes.