Donald Trump is back in Scotland and issuing an evolve or die warning to those opposing his golf course plans in Aberdeen although the Towns reply back is more along the lines of eff off and die.
The gloriously bad haired property tycoon landed in Scotland at the start of a three week public inquiry into plans for a £1bn golf course on a site of special scientific interest but stopped off on the way at his mother's childhood home on the Scottish Isle of Lewis where he was greeted by local residents holding up signs that read "We Don't Want You Hair" and "Don't Comb Over Her".
He said that there was zero truth to the suggestion his visit was motivated by a cheap quest for publicity and he just wanted to see the place his mother lived in. Which he did, spending 97 seconds in his mothers former home and therefore putting that rumour well and truly to rest.
From there he flew to Aberdeen to face the Conservation bodies including the Scottish Natural Heritage, Scottish Wildlife Trust, Ramblers Association and RSPB who are opposing his development.
The initial meeting didn't go well for the American who admitted to rejecting repeated warnings from his own environment experts that his plans for golf course would severely and significantly damage the area and suggesting that he move the course elsewhere.
In a wonderful fit of pique after being told of Scotland's right to roam laws that would disallow him from 'gating off' the course and berating him for failing to find out that the site was of scientific interest before he purchased it, the increasingly irritated Trump sarcastically retorted to the Ramblers Association executive: '"You know it's interesting, nobody has ever told me I don't know how to buy property before. You're the first one. I appreciate your advice."
Four hours later Trump emerged and told the waiting media that he had "slayed" his opponents.
"Everyone is telling me we knocked it out of the box," he declared not specifying if it was the same believable people who told him his hair looks fine when he leaves his mansion every morning.