Monday, 23 January 2012

Now Tell Us Something We Don't Know

Sometimes researchers discover something that isn't so much earth-shattering as just bloody obvious. So much so that if they had just asked a woman, then we could have saved them tonnes of money and hundreds of hours of research.
Unfortunately in these matters, women are the equivalent of the new Leonard Cohen CD in that nobody listens to us either.
The latest revelation courtesy of Oxford University is that men cause all the conflicts in the World. Duh.
From football violence to world wars, the cause is the male of the species, or rather their instinct for violence that helped early men which was all very well and good back in the Caveman days but in modern times translates into wars and conflicts.
In contrast to men, the female instinct is to 'tend and befriend' and seek to resolve conflicts peacefully.
The Professor behind the study, Mark van Vugt from the Institute for Cognitive and Evolutionary Anthropology at Oxford University, observed that the same male penchant for violence is 'similar to behaviour in chimpanzees'.
So not only are men responsible for almost every war, conflict and dispute, they also act like monkeys too.
Isn’t science amazing, they found that the root of all evil isn't money or religion, it's the gender with the testicles who behave like monkey's.
Yet another reason why men should step aside and go play on the tyre swing and let women get on with running things.
No wars, no conflicts and a mandatory prison sentence for any man who missed the toilet while peeing.


david g said...

Since America came on the scene, peeing in the toilet is old-hat.

The new thing in town is peeing on the corpses of non-white peasants who you've killed with a drone, an F-16 missile or a cluster bomb.

I mean, you can't really miss a corpse (unless it's still moving) so splashing is not a problem.

Evolution is a wonderful thing. Problem is, we're evolving backwards!

Cheezy said...

He's right, you know. It's been scientifically proven that there was no human conflict prior to America... erm... 'coming on the scene'. It's true. Some bloke on the internet told me.

That's right, we all lived together in harmony, making sandals for each other, eating tofu & mungbeans, and singing kum-baya around the camp fire. The most violent things that occurred were the monstrous farts caused by our exclusively vegetarian diets.

Addressing the substance of the post now, I think that history shows us female leaders tending to rule approximately as violently & repressively as the times that they lived in dictated; it's difficult to see any lack of historical continuity in the respective reigns of people like Boudica, Joan of Arc, Catherine the Great, Queens Elizabeth I & Victoria, Golda Meir, Indira Gandhi, Thatcher etc... They were all about as un-PC as the men who ruled during the same era, weren't they? And sometimes more so.

Bringing this up to date, do you really think it's possible to detect a special 'caring & sharing' aspect to people like Theresa May, Louise Mensch, any of 'Blair's babes', Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, Hilary Clinton, etc?

Lucy said...

It was the chimpanzee behaviour that most tickled me.

I always had a deep dislike for Hazel Blears, even before the expenses thing, she just looked very very smug all the time.

To me it's a man's world moulded into shape by men. Women will always struggle to fit in where it counts as they always have to adapt to fit rather than be themselves so you end up with the likes of Clinton and Palin who try to be 'manlike' to avoid being overlooked. Until there are women running the important countries, will always be the same.

Cheezy said...

Well, Germany is a pretty important country, right?... India is a pretty damn important country... Brazil is an increasingly important country... Ireland is a fairly important country, no?... Australia is a... no, OK, I'm only joking about that one!

I'm sure Chancellor Merkel, President Patil, President Rousseff, President McAleese, and (yes) Prime Minister Gillard will all be mightily offended that you don't rate their countries too highly...

Still, I think I see what you mean, but I guess I'm more cynical than you... i.e. I regard incompetence, greed and dishonesty as characteristics of the human race in general, rather than the province of one particular gender.

And the career of Hazel Blears only reinforces this belief.

Lucy said...

All important countries but to roll back thousands of years of male domination it will take many years and many more countries especially the big ones usa, china and russia who can undo all the good a germany or india can do.

david g said...

Lucy, you seem to have a contributor who loves talking about farts. When I was eleven, I seem to recall being involved with such infantile things. Then I grew up. Perhaps you could encourage him to attend some counseling.

This person does nothing to lift your blog. Instead, people who may chance to visit your blog, as with Q, may well choose to move on.

Your blog and you deserve much better. You have a good heart and a good mind.

You also have two retards who are holding you back!

Get rid of them and your blog may achieve its real potential!

Cheezy said...

"When I was eleven, I seem to recall being involved with such infantile things. Then I grew up."

Well, there's a turn up! You learn something new every day... I would have put money on you being 10 years old or under, young Master David.

Anyway, I'm really gutted. I thought that was a pretty funny gag about farts. Did I mistime it?

But here's a really funny thing: Even if you didn't care for my joke, David my 12 year old chum, surely even you will notice that the only person to have discussed the actual subject of this post with Lucy (it's men & women and their respective predisposition towards violence, in case you didn't know) was myself...

Whereas the one who didn't respect Lucy's blog by addressing the subject of the post - at all - was you, David, my pre-pubescent buddy.

Instead, you just went "wah wah wah, I don't like Americans, wah wah waaaah!", which is something that I'm pretty sure I knew already.

Unlike you however, I don't want to censor anyone's comments. Certainly not on someone else's blog. Even when someone is just being a dick and not contributing anything to the debate. Like, ever.

I guess this is the price of being a liberal though, isn't it? You have to extend liberties and freedoms to those people who would deny it to you. People like David the 12-year-old Australian Lefty-Nazi.

david g said...

The 'comment' above must surely qualify as the most ridiculous, infantile 'comment' ever made on the internet.

Lucy, it is this kind of abject nonsense (combined with Q's endless, boring recitation of his American indoctrination) which is tainting your blog and turning off potential commenters.

Your blog should have twenty or thirty faithful contributors, not a couple of mindless, tedious hacks.

As an old friend, do yourself a favor: cut them both loose and watch your blog grow!

You deserve it!

Cheezy said...

"The 'comment' above must surely qualify as the most ridiculous, infantile 'comment' ever made on the internet."

That's quite a claim.