To the tune of Fools & Horses:
no income tax, no vat,
got spanked last week by man city,
he's looking pale,
harry redknapp's off to jail........
It was Albert Einstein who said that 'the hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax' which is a sentiment that Harry Redknapp obviously agrees with as he found it all so complicated that he just didn't bother with it.
Now the taxman has the Tottenham manager in court on charges of receiving £190,000 payment into an off-shore account set up in the name of his dog. Harry says it was a bonus, everyone else is saying he just misspelled bung especially as he has admitted to being almost illiterate saying 'You talk to anybody at the football club. I don't write. I couldn't even fill a team sheet in' which explains why Pavlyuchenko can never get a game unless there is a grown up around to help Harry hold his crayon.
As much fun as it is watching the human droopy look-a-like being kicked around by HM Revenue & Customs for tax evasion, there is a dark, sinister side to all this television coverage. I accidentally turned on the high definition while he was being interviewed on Sky News and i haven't been able to sleep for 3 nights.
Arsenal fans are especially happy to see the Spurs man in court, as are the fans of Portsmouth who he left to manage rivals Southampton before coming back amidst much sycophantic pleas to be forgiven by Portsmouth fans before trying his hardest to jump ship to Newcastle and then Tottenham when he spent all the money and the administrators come knocking.
Apart from the chant at the top of the post, there has been a distinct lack of songs about Harry's predicament and football fans are normally quick to rip a fellow manager or player apart when they are in the news.
An overweight Robbie Fowler was subjected to 'I predict a diet' and chants of 'Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams' greeted the Rangers goalkeeper after he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Who does Harry Redknapp think he was concealing his finances to avoid paying tax to the British government? Tony Blair?