Howdy meat eaters. Been tucking into your share of flesh, veins, muscles, tendons and blood today? Did those bits scraped up off the
abattoir floor that went into your sausages taste good today? Good but you better make the most of eating meat because research from the
University of Exeter shows that unless all you meat-eaters change your ways, the rise in the global population will spell ecological disaster.
Published today in the journal Energy and Environmental Science, the research suggests that in order to feed an expected population of 9.3billion by 2050, we need to dramatically cut the amount of meat we eat because rearing the animals takes so much land leaving insufficient space for crops.
The researchers argue that if we change the way we use our land, recycle waste, and dedicate enough space to growing bioenergy crops we could bring down atmospheric carbon dioxide to safe levels.
'By focusing on making agriculture more efficient and encouraging people to reduce the amount of meat they eat, we could keep global temperatures within the two degrees threshold' said Professor Tim Lenton, 'Bioenergy with carbon storage could play a major role in helping us reduce future levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide.'
'With livestock production accounting for 78 per cent of agricultural land in use today, this is the area where change could have a significant impact.'
So there you have, with every mouthful of cows backside or pigs eyeballs in your McDonald's burger, you are condemning all of us to a slow, painful demise and besides, in response to the millions of times i have heard from meat eaters that Hitler was a vegetarian in order to somehow shut me up about being a vegetarian, he wasn't, he was a meat eater just like you as was Stalin, Attila the Hun, Idi Amin, Pol Pot and Genghis Khan.
Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Gandhi, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, Aristotle, Diogenes, Plato, Pythagoras, Socrates, Voltaire and Lisa Simpson all were though.