Congratulations Sweden

They will be giddy in Gothenburg, slapping backs in Stockholm and probably mullered in Malmo because Sweden have been crowned Eurovision Champions 2015.      
In a show of a continental two fingered salute to our politicians, Russia came in second and in what can only be called a bizarre mass deafness related incident, Italy finished third.
The invite to Australia to become part of Europe for the evening finished with them coming in fifth and countless mentions of 'Good morning Australia' as it was 8am down there when the voting section of the evening began and at that time they would only be on their second breakfast tinny.
As for the United Kingdom and our 1920's style song, oh dear, it limped in 24th out of the 27 entries with a disappointing five points, three points ahead of France but five points more than Germany and Austria who ended the night with nul points, which is tremendously embarrassing for the hosts.
As usual we have to blame the block voting of neighbours voting for neighbours and as we are an island, our neighbours have neighbours they are actually sharing a border with so we are always onto a loser but this year we had a half-way decent song which was heavily promoted with a good reception around Europe for the past two months so we can't really blame the song but in that fine British way, we have to find someone to blame and i blame Tony Blair.  
Since the dodgy ex-Prime Minister join forces with that lot over the Atlantic, our European cousins have shunned us so we can add spoiling our chances of ever winning Eurovision on Blair as well as him ruining the Labour Party and getting us involved with iffy Americans and their dodgy oversea wars. 
Anyway, congratulations Sweden and it's off to Stockholm next year where we will turn up and be on the receiving end of another sound thrashing by the likes of Latvia and Montenegro but still finish above the French and Germans. Losers.