Special Guest Blogger: Archangel Gabriel

I was there when God created the Universe and everything in it and i saw the corners he cut and the shoddy materials he used in the rush job so he could have Sunday off which was not enough time for adequate safety checks.
The stuff he used for the Earth was substandard and the oceans were badly designed, the Sun going around the Earth was abandoned and because he left humans to last, he was running short of material so quickly scraped together some dirt in the vague shape of himself, blew into it's nostrils and shoved him quickly into a garden with some apple trees then he stood up, stretched and proclaimed 'Job done'.
Obviously it all went wings up so he allocated his son, Jesus, to keep an eye on the humans and told me to go down there and announce he was sending his only begotten son.
So leaving my cloud i grabbed my white robes, glowing halo, wings, and appeared blinking like i had a Christmas tree shoved up my bum into a field of Shepherds and after 30 minutes of telling them to stop screaming, i told them that their saviour was being born over there in a stable yadda yadda yadda.
To be fair my choice of people to appear to wasn't the greatest, they were shepherds and made a living sitting around watching sheep and personally i wouldn't trust them to sit the right way on a toilet but i left them instructions to follow the star and they would find a woman curled up on the floor next to a disgruntled looking pig, miffed that his food trough had been emptied and now had a baby human in it.
I went back to ripping out awesome harp solo's but i did happen to glance over at Earth occasionally and watched you turn the day your saviour was born into a celebration of a fat man climbing down your chimney. No wonder you humans never made it back into the Garden Eden.