Thursday, 12 July 2007

Enjoying The Beckhams

Since 1773 there has been a festering sore inflicted upon the British by the Americans.
As our tea floated upon the tide of Boston Harbour that fateful afternoon, the British swore revenge. Finally that day has come.
A revenge so sweet that just the thought of it could turn you diabetic. Yes, we have sent you the Beckhams!
To be fair, the one with the high pitched voice and the liking for ladies knickers and skirts is not too bad. It is his wife that has you reaching for the nearest blunt instrument to stave in your own head to get some relief from her mindless whitterings.
The less talented one out of a very untalented group, Victoria is best known for her work in the Spice Girls where she was appointed the position of pouting from the back of the group before she added pointing to her repertoire.
Of course her claim to fame now is having a boob job, marrying a footballer and being thin enough to supplement her income by working as a chopstick.
So there you go America, enjoy the pair of them and next time don't be so quick to ditch our favourite beverage in the sea, because we still have to find a home for the Gallagher Brothers. You have been warned.

8 comments:

The Fez Monkey said...

Lucy -

I'll have you know that the descent of the Beckhams is being met with a collective yawn here in LA, despite the little PR puppies best efforts to make it some sort of news.

Oh, those of us who are soccer fans (football to you folks) are pretty stoked about Becks plying his trade in the Galaxy midfield - particularly given his recent re-birth over at Real Madrid. But what's her name is just another skinny, no-talent skank in a city full of skinny, no-talent skanks. She's got a long way before she is nearly as irrelevant as either our beloved Paris or Nicole.

Ook ook

Cheezy said...

Oh I don't know, Fez. I'd back Posh's total irrelevance against pretty much anyone's!

Falling on a bruise said...

At least make an effort Fez otherwise they will want to come back here.

Anonymous said...

We can have the Olson twins there first thing tomorrow morning. Don't screw with us.

Anne said...

Thanks for the Beckhams. It seems they've become fast friends with Tom Cruise and his hostage--i mean wife.

Paula said...

We threw Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna over there, so HAH!!!

Falling on a bruise said...

Don't make us unleash our own version of shock and awe(ful), ELTON JOHN & ROD STEWART!!!

O' Tim said...

The guy who smashes the watermelons has a brother? And they're British?