Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Let Them Eat Milk Fed Lamb

The worlds poorest may be languishing in half starved poverty, their only worldly possession a pot which has Do Not Fill With Urine written on the side of it, but they'll always have the knowledge that the worlds richest nations are in there scrapping on their behalf. Or at least they will once they have unfastened the button on their trousers and had a bit of a kip to sleep off the eight-course dinner they have just polished off at the G8 summit in Hokkaido, Japan.
What more could a world leader want after a hard days agonising over spiralling food prices and how to feed the Worlds poor than a menu containing hairy crab Kegani bisque-style soup alongside salt-grilled bighand thornyhead (fish) with a vinegary water pepper sauce followed by milk-fed lamb with cepes, and black truffle with emulsion sauce. Finally there was a "fantasy" dessert, a special cheese selection accompanied by lavender honey and caramelised nuts, while coffee came with candied fruits and vegetables.
You can't do global problem solving on an empty stomach, heaven forbid Gordon Browns stomach starts rumbling during Silvio Berlusconi's speech on the soaring prices of rice risking malnutrition for over 1bn Asians so they earlier sat down to a four course lunch of corn stuffed with caviar, smoked salmon and sea urchin, hot onion tart and winter lily bulb.
We can only hope that despite the tightening waistbands, our leaders will put their heads together and come up with some results to alleviate the escalating food crisis and not just leave Japan empty handed like when they left Gleneagles three years ago promising to help the Worlds poor and conveniently forgot all about it as soon as their planes left the tarmac.
We have to start seeing results from these summits that cost tens of millions of pounds and cause massive disruption or else people will begin to think they are just interested in looking out for their own interests rather than the people they are paid to represent.
These meetings already smell a bit fishy but that could just be the sea urchin repeating.

4 comments:

effay said...

How the Hell to you stuff caviar into corn?

Don said...

"repeating" What a wonderful way to describe the inevitable result of eating uni.

Anyway, I ask you, what's the point of fighting and struggling to become a G8 leader if you can't grow fat at gourmet tables, a disdainful eye turned away from the masses huddled in the dark outside? Or maybe we should blame the Japanese: They are always such good hosts. If it were me, I'd have brought in sandwiches and ice tea and kept them working.

Anonymous said...

It's truly disgusting to have this extravagance when the same people are urging us all to tighten our belts, not waste food, and so on.

Typical politicians with their snouts in the trough.

Lucy said...

with a diamond encrusted spoon probably effay. I would have made them bring jam sandwiches and a flask also Don.
Irony not a strong point of politicians obviously ruth.