Friday, 25 September 2009

The Pope Is Coming

As i type, the bones of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux is being biked around the country. I say bones, it's a bit of thigh and a few teeth but the Catholics are turning up hoping to touch the plastic covering the coffin and praying for a miracle.
Now the 4m Catholics here are rubbing their rosary beads even faster in excitement because Pope Benedict XVI has agreed to grace our land with his presence next summer.
If you happen to bump into him while he is kissing the pavement, he may be addressed as Holy Father, the Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ or even the Primate of Italy which seems a bit harsh considering Silvio Berlusconi is still around.
I expect as well as the 4m Catholics, there will be a fare spattering of the 95% of the rest of the country who don't much care for the Pope protesting, whether it be because of his abhorrent messages on the use of condoms, the backing for choir boy molesters within his church, his anti-homosexual mutterings or because they think religion is to blame for most of the World ills and they want to shout at Gods representative.
I would just like to point out to them that if they are planning to throw things at the Italian primate, then condoms would be very apt. Used condoms will probably fly through the air even better and land with a much rewarding splat.
Whatever our feelings on him, let's make the former Nazi youth member feel welcome to our green and pleasant land and hope that he wears that same hat he has on in the picture above. It's brilliant.


Anonymous said...


what a gay hat... only the pope can wear a hat like that... in most places in america, if man were to wear a hat like that eventually some racist redneck would beat the crap out of him... at the very least they would laugh their assess off...


Lucy said...

It's a brilliantly terrible hat. My theory i that they don't have any mirrors in the Vatican. I hope he wears it here, i'd turn up to see it.

Nog said...

Yeah, that's what in Texas one might call a "queer-ass" hat.

But I think your being a bit to harsh on the poor old fellow. He was impressed into the Hitler Youth and then the German military while still a kid; and he deserted as soon as he got the chance. I'd hardly call him a Nazi. And the Second World War was a long time ago.

So he's a big conservative. That's kind of annoying. But a Nazi he isn't...